


An Angel Will Die, Covered in White

by mitigates



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and heartbreak, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blackmail, Choking, Don't Read for KuroTsukki, Drug Use, Extremely Dubious Consent, Implied Child Abuse, Implied Sexual Abuse, M/M, Mental Instability, Multi, NO MCD!, Not for the faint of heart, Relationship violence, Sexual Coercion, Threesome - M/M/M, Toxic Relationship, Underage Sex, Unsafe Sex, alcohol use, no beta we die like daichi, rough anal fingering, rough anal sex, rough everything, rough face fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:49:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 55,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28840425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitigates/pseuds/mitigates
Summary: 3 men and half an orgasm later, Koushi found himself in the alley with a cigarette between his lips. It was a slow night.He flicked the ash off and watched the embers dying against the cold ground. He hated the winter. Come to think of it, he seemed to hate most things nowadays. He was bitter and it was disgusting. He needed a hobby, one that didn’t involve monthly STI screenings or being too sore to get up until dinnertime the next day.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Sugawara Koushi, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei/Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio/Sawamura Daichi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sugawara Koushi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Sugawara Koushi/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 89
Kudos: 167





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a lot different than anything i've written before. there isn't really anything happy about this, not for a while. read at your own risk but understand that when I tag "extremely dubious consent" I really mean extremely. this is mostly just a lot of hurt but we are hoping for a happy ending. I'll update tags as I post. i've been hesitant about posting this because i'm dealing with a lot right now but here it is. 
> 
> (also, despite the title there is NO mcd here)
> 
> title from: The A Team - Ed Sheeran

The sky looked like it wanted to open up and drench the world with rain. The clouds were plump, ready to burst, with a backdrop of a violently violet evening sky. It was a breathtaking scene that could set the mood for an ending to any number of romantic comedies, for anybody out in the city just enjoying the night. For anybody but Koushi, that is. 

Koushi’s knees smacked into the cracked tiles. He hated that. If he was going to be ragdolled around, the least they could do was watch out for injury. Otherwise who would they get off with next week? Koushi shuddered thinking about someone taking his place. He liked his place. For the most part, anyway. 

“Lift yer hips.”

The drunkard behind him nudged Koushi’s body forward. He was expecting Koushi to kneel and smoosh his cheek into the piss stained floor next to the toilet. Koushi obliged because doing it on his own was less demeaning than having his own teeth slicing through his lip because he was forced to kiss the floor.

So, Koushi pressed his cheek against the frigid tile. He grunted when the man yanked his jeans down, not bothering to do anything more than push them below his ass. He was grateful the guy who fucked him an hour ago took his time loosening Koushi up because the current man was clearly just going to shove it in.

It wasn’t like Koushi could feel it anymore, anyway. He bit back a yawn as he braced himself by holding the bottom of the toilet, his hands touching something soft that was either a used condom or used toilet paper. He wasn’t that excited to find out which it was. He let his eyes shut as the man dug his knuckles into his lower back. That was going to bruise. So unnecessarily, too. It wasn’t like Koushi was going anywhere. He didn’t have anything- or anybody- better to do.

It was over in minutes. 

The ape of a man stood panting behind him as if his three minute long sexcapade was actually some kind of fucking marathon. Koushi sat up and looked over his shoulder. He winked and blew the guy a kiss. 

“Thanks, babe!”

He turned back around to fix his jeans and felt a boot against his back.

Koushi sighed. “Come on, no rough stuff, I’m not going to fight you-”

The boot pressed until Koushi was back against the floor. Koushi relented and laid flat. He automatically assumed the position. It seemed like there were more guys than usual that night, he would normally have at least a few minutes to freshen up before someone else came in. He looked underneath the stalls and saw a line waiting for their turn with him. He rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long fucking night.

The boot stayed on his back until Koushi heard groaning and realized the guy was just using him to jack off on. He felt drops of liquid hit the back of his shirt and grimaced at the thought of having to wash that off before it dried. 

Boot guy left and Koushi sat up on his knees. “Hold on a sec, guys- I need a cig.”

He heard several groans of disappointment and waved them off, stumbling out the back door that was just to the side of the bathroom. He reached into his pocket and opened a fresh pack of cigarettes, placing one between his bruised lips. He patted his pockets for a lighter and groaned when he realized his last one was empty. 

“Need a light?”

Koushi glanced over at the broad figure and smiled. 

“I do, if you don’t mind.”

A lighter flicked to life before him, slightly illuminating the face of the man. Koushi leaned forward, inhaling until his cigarette had a glowing ember. He took a long drag and flicked the ash off of the tip. He leaned back against the wall and exhaled a bloom of smoke.

“What are you doing out there?”

The broad man snorted. “It’s cute that you think you can ask me that.”

Koushi flicked his cigarette again and toed at the gravel under his sneaker. “I was just-”

The man clutched Koushi’s jaw harshly, his fingers digging into the already marred skin. “You were just what? Being fucking nosy?”

“Yush,” Koushi’s words were cut off by the man shoving his other hand down the back of Koushi’s pants.

He scoffed as he pressed two fingers into the smaller man. “How many has it been tonight?”

“I lost count after the first 6.” He responded as he tried to lift his cigarette to his mouth. 

The man smacked the object out of his hand. “You’re fucking abhorrent, you know that, don’t you?”

Koushi nodded, smiling slightly, and glared down at the still lit cigarette. “I do.”

“Now I didn’t say you could take a break. Get back in there.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of condoms. He threw them at Koushi’s feet. “For your friends.”

The broad man released Koushi from his grip and walked back into the club. He knelt down, picked up the condoms and the dying cigarette. 

He saluted the door. “Aye-aye, Sawamura!”

Daichi Sawamura, the bane of Koushi’s existence and the reason he remembered to breathe. It was unfortunate that those two habits fell hand in hand when it came to Daichi but as the former frequently reminded him: Koushi would be _nothing_ (meaning dead) without Daichi. 

Koushi was a struggling high school drop out when he met Daichi at the tender age of 16. Daichi was 22 at that point and already established in the criminal underground of prostitution. That was how Koushi met Asahi and Yuu, thankfully they were able to get out around the time Koushi was roped in. Yuu was young, too young, and Asahi was too nice. They didn’t deserve to be broken the way that they were but they deserved to get away from everything. Koushi thought about them when Daichi would leave him bleeding and bruised on the floor of his own apartment after he came home a little late.

Daichi took pity on Koushi and took him in. He gave him a place to stay, food to eat, and someone to talk to. He didn’t want anything at first, he didn’t ask Koushi to sell himself, didn’t force him into a lifestyle of drug addiction and pain like most new recruits, he just gave Koushi an apartment and went to visit him sometimes.

The first time they had sex, it was Koushi that initiated it. Daichi whispered in his ear that he wanted a favor from Koushi. Koushi _owed_ him. Koushi _wanted_ it. Koushi would do _anything_. So Koushi did, he did whatever Daichi asked because he was right, Koushi would be dead without him. He wouldn’t have survived on the streets, he wasn’t built for it back then. 4 years later, he’d be fine, but at 16 the street would have eaten him, chewed him up, and spit him out: skinless, shattered, and permanently damaged. Who’s to say he wasn’t permanently damaged then? Who knows. Koushi could determine that for himself. Or he could ask Daichi.

The second time they had sex, Daichi cashed in the favor. Or well: two of his friends did. They were friends of Daichi’s that Koushi would come to know better than he ever would have wanted to. Issei Matsukawa and Tetsurou Kuroo. They weren’t really bad guys. Koushi could have been into it had he been informed of what was going to happen or if he’d been prepped properly but it ended with him passing out and waking up with Daichi hovering over him. Daichi didn’t touch him when his friends did, he preferred to wait until after they were done. That became a habit of theirs. Koushi offered up his body to whichever friends he chose, Daichi would watch, then fuck him after they left. Koushi didn’t care anymore. Maybe he never did. He cared less the more it happened. He got used to it.

He even got used to Daichi repeatedly telling him he was a no good gutterslut useful for nothing more than the stretch of his ass. The words didn’t bother him, they were practically engraved in his skin. When Daichi told Koushi that he could fuck whoever he wanted, Koushi took the freedom and fucking _embraced_ it.

That’s how he ended up in the back bathroom of a club Daichi owned on his now bruised knees with a dick trying to touch his tonsils. He had a newfound appreciation of having those removed after a bout of tonsillitis as a kid. His uvula was going to get bruised at that point. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi sprawled out on his bed and scrolled through his phone a few hours later. He yawned and reached for his phone charger. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He glanced out the window and hoped to sleep until at least the afternoon. Daytime was the worst. When it was light outside, Koushi could see all the flaws on his body, the scars etched into his skin and the lack of emotion behind his eyes. He hated daytime. He preferred night for several reasons, most of which being he could spend it on his stomach studying the cracks in whatever floor he was being pounded into. 

Tomorrow was another day. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

The next day was more of the same. Koushi woke up around 3 in the afternoon to soft knocking on his door. His other curse in life was being a light sleeper.

“Miss Kageyama!”

“I’ve told you time and time again to call me Miwa, my little love-” The older raven-haired woman smiled at him. Her smile faded slightly as she reached out and touched Koushi’s face. “Are you okay today?”

Koushi squeezed her hand against his cheek. “I’m at a 3/10.” 

If Koushi’s face looked the least bit out of sorts, Miss Kageyama would always ask if he was okay. He would play down his pain level, of course, so a 3/10 wouldn’t make her worry. She didn’t need to know that he lived his life at a constant 7. Nobody other than Koushi needed that on their shoulders, it’s not like he even acknowledged the burden himself. Koushi had a PhD in Avoidance with an expert dissertation (handwritten in _cursive_ ) on Masochism. It was his life's pride and joy.

Miss Kageyama patted his face again and pushed a plastic bag into his hands. “You need to eat more, skinny boy. You’re thinner than my baby brother and he’s only 16!”

Koushi never wanted to meet Miss Kageyama’s younger brother. If there was anything he couldn’t stand, it was someone at that age who had it better than he did. It may be selfish of him, sure he knew that, but he couldn’t handle it.

Koushi simply nodded and accepted the bag that he knew was filled with tangerines, rice, and some kind of meat. He bowed graciously. “Thank you, Mis- Miwa. Thank you.”

Minutes after she left, Koushi flopped back onto his bed, somehow already exhausted from minutes of being awake. His eyes started to close when he heard his door squeak open. He slowly opened one eye, already knowing who it was going to be simply from his footsteps.

“Koushi, are you still sleeping?”

If one didn’t know Tetsurou the way that Koushi did, he would probably be a decent guy. He was tall and good looking with his cat-like eyes and messy dark hair. His voice was sweet like honey but to Koushi it was sickeningly comfortable. He only visited Koushi at home when two things happened: he knew Daichi would be too busy to stop by and his own husband was too busy to rein him in. Tetsurou married young, just after turning 18, to his high school sweetheart. It was a lovely story that Koushi knew word for word because Tetsurou liked to tell it to him like he hadn’t heard it before when Tetsurou was forcing Koushi’s head down on his cock. 

That was usually why he came over.

“I _was_.” Koushi whined as he sat up.

Tetsurou pulled open his fridge and peered inside. “All you have in here is...tangerines and- what is that? Tofu?”

“I think it’s pork.” Koushi responded as he swung his legs over the edge of his bed. 

Tetsurou turned and glared at him. “It isn’t pork, Koushi, it’s tofu.”

Koushi shrugged and held back an eye roll, hoping Tetsurou wouldn’t notice. However, if there was one redeeming quality that Tetsurou had that could possibly become useful one day, it was how fucking perceptive he was. 

Koushi held his gaze as the taller man walked toward him. Tetsurou stopped in front of Koushi and nudged his knees apart with his foot. Koushi spread his legs and Tetsurou stood between them. He ran his fingers through Koushi’s hair until he dug his nails into his scalp and grabbed a handful of hair at the nape of his neck.

“Any plans today?” Tetsurou asked, his voice as smooth as ever.

“You mean with Daichi?”

Koushi usually didn’t do any kind of backtalk, it wasn’t worth the effort nor was it worth the aftermath. Tetsurou was as smart as ever, he knew exactly where to press on Koushi’s face with his other hand. He pushed his fingertips into the yellowing bruise along his cheekbone, something that would make a normal man wince. Koushi, however, was far from normal. Koushi stiffened at the pressure but melted into it at the same time.

“You’re pathetic, you know that, don’t you?”

Koushi hummed in acknowledgment and hooked his fingers into Tetsurou’s jeans, tugging slightly. “And you’re hard.”

Tetsurou smirked and released the pressure from either side of Koushi’s head. “Do something about it already. I have shit to do.”

Koushi licked his bottom lip as he unbuttoned the taller man’s jeans. One of his favorite acts when it came to sex was oral sex. It was the only aspect in his life that he felt like he had any semblance of control. Albeit, that might be cliche but even if Koushi’s chin was dripping with his own drool and his cheeks were stained with tear streaks, he still felt in control. Even as he blinked up as Tetsurou as the raven-haired man pinched his nose shut, cutting off most of his air and started to choke, he _still_ felt in control. Tetsurou wasn’t going to get off without him. He wasn’t going to go home and go to his husband for that kind of treatment, only Koushi could do that for him. 

  
  
  
  


Koushi pointed toward his bathroom. “There’s clean washcloths in there.” 

Tetsurou ignored him and wiped his dick on a discarded t-shirt. Oh well, it needed to be washed anyway. He zipped his jeans up and patted Koushi on the cheek harder than necessary. 

“See you next time.”

Koushi saluted him and headed towards his bathroom. Tetsurou shut the door, the noise echoing in his apartment, as loud as the groan that slipped out of Koushi’s mouth when he realized he was out of mouthwash.

“Fucking perfect.”

He cut open his tube of toothpaste in order to scrape out the last of it with his toothbrush that desperately needed to be replaced. He brushed his teeth three times, a habit of his, and squinted at his reflection in the cracked bathroom mirror that seemed to be a metaphor for his life. He pulled out a half empty bottle of concealer that Daichi gave him for his birthday after also giving him a black eye. He plastered himself with the milky color, the shade matched his skin perfectly and he found himself smiling slightly at the bottle. Daichi knew his color.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi ordered his fourth drink, thankful that the bartender had _just_ changed so he wouldn’t get cut off. Unfortunately, the first bartender whispered in her ear as he walked by.

Koushi scowled at the dark-haired woman in front of him. “Seriously? Already?”

“Sorry Sugawara, please go home.” 

“Shimizu, _please_. And don’t call me Sugawhatever, I don’t even know what that means anymore.” Koushi giggled and leaned over the bar. “Just get me another drink.”

Shimizu Kiyoko patted his head. “No.”

“You’re a demon.” Koushi whined.

He spun around on the barstool to see who he recognized in the club. Daichi was in the corner of the larger VIP area with his arm slung over the back of his seat, a glass of something dark in his hand. His eyes were on Koushi, his face expressionless. Koushi avoided eye contact and spotted a pair that he didn’t recognize meandering on the opposite end of the bar. Koushi studied the larger of the two. He seemed brutish and stoic but his companion seemed a bit looser. He was throwing his head back in laughter, his chestnut brown hair framing his face beautifully. He didn’t belong there and Koushi couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing there. A body pressed itself against his side distracted him from watching them further.

“ _Kouuuushi~_ ” 

Koushi dragged his eyes toward the tall man next to him. He turned back toward Daichi in the VIP booth. Daichi was still watching him, slightly more interested.

“Yes?”

The other man frowned. “Come on, Koushi, I’m horny. Let’s go fuck in the bathroom.”

Koushi almost snorted at the lack of tact. He was holding Daichi’s gaze as the man started running his fingers up his arm. He leaned closer to Koushi, pushing his hair back and pulling his collar down. Daichi narrowed his eyes slightly as he watched the other man press his lips against Koushi’s neck. 

Koushi leaned his neck to the opposite side, exposing more of it. The other man took that as a hint and started licking across his neck, toward his ear. Koushi wanted to close his eyes, he wanted to enjoy it, he wanted to pretend for a moment that he was someone else and somewhere else: anything else. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Not when a sharp sound pierced the air as the glass Daichi was holding shattered. Nobody else seemed to notice but the noise made Koushi’s skin crawl. 

“Kenji, I’m going to say this because you’re a nice guy. You don’t want to do this.”

Kenji frowned, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners. “Why not? Yes I do!”

Koushi shook his head slightly. “He’s watching. You know it’s never good when he’s watching before I even get started-” 

Kenji was gone before Koushi could even finish his sentence. Koushi blinked and the glass near Daichi’s feet was already gone, another one in his hand had Koushi unsure if his eyes deceived him or not. Daichi leaned toward Issei and whispered something. Issei caught Koushi’s eye and the ashen-haired man kicked off of the bar. He shrugged his coat off and left it hanging over a barstool. He headed straight for the bathroom.

  
  
  


3 men and half an orgasm later, Koushi found himself in the alley with a cigarette between his lips. It was a slow night. He flicked the ash off and watched the embers dying against the cold ground. He hated the winter. Come to think of it, he seemed to hate most things nowadays. He was _bitter_ and it was disgusting. He needed a hobby, one that didn’t involve monthly STI screenings or being too sore to get up until dinnertime the next day.

The backdoor creaked open and the emerging figure immediately went toward Koushi. Koushi tried not to grimace at Kenji’s reappearance. Koushi took a long drag from his cancer stick and blew the smoke directly in his face. Kenji wasn’t phased. Koushi sighed dejectedly and dropped his cigarette to the ground, stepping on the speck of fire.

“Alright, let’s go-”

“No.”

“No?”

“Turn around.” Kenji shoved Koushi’s shoulder against the concrete wall. 

Koushi scoffed, shaking his head. “You know I don’t-”

Kenji was already unbuttoning his jeans and turning Koushi around forcefully. “I really don’t give a fuck what you do or don’t do, Koushi. You do this and this is what I want so can you just-” 

Kenji yanked Koushi’s shirt up and fumbled for the button on his jeans. Koushi pushed back against him, something he _never_ did, but he had rules. He had so few rules that they were barely considered rules but he didn’t fuck anybody in alleyways. He didn’t fuck anybody without a condom. Finally, he didn’t fuck anybody that he knew Daichi would get angry about. The way he was looking at Koushi in the club that night was a clear warning.

“For fucks sake, get off of me-”

Kenji shoved Koushi’s head forward, smacking the shorter man's head into the side of the building. Koushi felt dizzy immediately and was smacked with thoughts containing remnants of his last meal. He didn’t remember eating that day. He used the last of his strength to elbow Kenji but didn’t find any release. The only redeeming part was the distinct sound of a foil wrapper. Koushi relented and leaned against the biting concrete.

“Just hurry the fuck up.”

Kenji was pushing him too hard against the wall, he could feel the jagged edges stabbing his chest. Koushi tried to adjust but Kenji gripped him tighter. Koushi felt a familiar pressure between pressing against his ass as Kenji leaned over his shoulder.

“I heard you’ve let two guys in here at once before. What’s that like?”

Koushi grunted. “What’s it like? What do you wanna fuckin’ know?”

Kenji gripped the back of Koushi’s head tightly and yanked his head back. It’s unfortunate because Kenji Futakuchi was a good guy too. He’d never propositioned Koushi before so it was probably a last resort. He probably was turned down by that feisty dark-haired friend of his that he had been lusting after as long as Koushi had known him. Moniwa? Koushi couldn’t remember his first name. 

“I want to know if you’d do it again. I heard Daichi told you- I-I heard you do anything he tells you to do-”

“Are you going to fuck me or not?”

Another yank on his hair.

“We both are.”

Koushi turned in confusion as the backdoor creaked open again. It was another tall dark-haired guy that he didn’t recognize. He looked too stiff to be at that club.

“Excuse me?”

“This is my buddy Jingo. He’s always wanted to try you out.” 

“I’m not running a two-for-one special here, guys.”

Any further argument was Koushi was drowned out by a ringing in his ears after Kenji shoved his head harder against the wall. He felt something slick drip down toward his eyebrow and prayed it was ice because he didn’t feel like cleaning up blood that night. It mixed in with his makeup and was just frustrating as fuck to get off. Koushi groaned and took a steadying breath. He’s taken two guys at once exactly one time before and he didn’t exactly have a choice. He was nowhere near ready for it that night, it would undoubtedly end in a hospital visit that he would have to avoid the bills for. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” Koushi heard Jingo ask as Kenji pulled his pants down further until they gathered around his ankles.

“Yeah man, it’s fine. It’s what he’s here for. You said you wanted to try him out.”

Jingo must have said something in agreement because Kenji shoved himself inside of Koushi seconds later. Koushi’s breaths came in huffs as he was mostly annoyed at the entire situation. They could have at least cornered him inside where it was warmer, he had zero interest in being fucked against a concrete wall in the early days of winter. 

“You- fuck- you don’t even understand, Fukiage- he’s so fuckin’ tight-” Kenji grunted and groaned behind him and now Koushi would lump him in with every other guy that was originally pretty decent. “No matter how many times- it’s so good.”

“Let me try-”

Kenji pulled out and Koushi shuddered at the feeling of emptiness that followed, but it didn’t last long. Koushi couldn’t help the shallow gasp he emitted. Jingo was a lot bigger than Kenji, uncomfortably big, and taking him all at once made Koushi want to adjust but they weren’t letting him.

“This would be a lot more fun if you’d let me participate.” Koushi muttered against the wall.

Kenji snorted and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. Koushi turned to face him as Jingo thrust into him, scratching his face against the concrete. Koushi had to squint one of his eyes from the blood that was dripping into it. He smiled slightly up at Kenji.

“Come on, Kenji. Let me suck you off too. There’s no use in you just standing there with your dick in your hand.”

Kenji smirked. He pulled a bandana or scarf or some fabric out of his jacket pocket and wiped Koushi’s face. He motioned toward Jingo. “Bring him over here, there’s a couch.”

There was a ratty old couch that was replaced every other year or so. It was generally used to house a druggie that was seconds from an overdose or just to take a load off. Koushi wasn’t looking forward to kneeling on it but it was better than adding more scratches into his face. Jingo didn’t bother pulling out, he lifted Koushi, gripping his hips from the front and Koushi started to wonder when he had gotten so easy to manhandle. Kenji settled on the couch, stretching his legs across it. He patted the cushion and Jingo threw Koushi against it. Koushi attacked Kenji’s cock with his mouth, earning a long groan from the brown-haired man. 

“ _Fuuuuuuck_ , you’re so good.”

Kenji’s dick hit the back of his throat when Jingo thrust back inside of him. Koushi pulled back, coughing violently from the intrusion and the attempted smothering via blowjob. 

“The fuck- get back on it.” Kenji threaded his fingers through Koushi’s hair and pulled him back against his lower half. 

“Wait- fuck-” Koushi was still coughing and Jingo was fucking him relentlessly. It wasn’t pleasurable from the angle, it just _hurt_. 

Kenji gripped Koushi’s face and wiped tears away with his thumb. “Sweetheart, this isn’t supposed to be fun for you.” He pushed Koushi down again.

Koushi couldn’t breathe. He coughed around Kenji and felt acid rising in his throat. He pulled off again.

“If you- if-” Koushi coughed as he pushed away from Kenji. “I’m going to vomit on your dick- hold on a fucking-”

Kenji shook his head. “Gods, you’re fucking useless. I thought it was better than this.” He jerked his chin at Jingo. “Move closer, let’s both fuck him.”

Koushi’s eyes widened and he started shaking his head. Kenji leaned forward and yanked his jeans the rest of the way off, pulling off his boots that they got tangled over. 

“Don’t-” Koushi screeched, causing both men to pause. “Don’t you fucking dare-”

Kenji clamped his hand over Koushi’s mouth and frowned at him. “Everyone said you never say no.”

Koushi screamed behind his hand, raising his own hands to fight back, but Jingo took hold of one as he jammed it against his back. Kenji took the other and smirked. 

“C’mon Koushi.” He kissed his own hand that was still covering Koushi’s mouth.

“-the fuck-” 

Koushi whined as Jingo pulled out of him roughly. He vaguely registered the man crashing into a metal trash can. Kenji said something, arguing with the guy, but Koushi couldn’t hear him over his own struggle to breathe. Koushi fell backwards against the couch and Kenji was suddenly gone from his line of sight. Koushi inhaled deeply, closing his eyes.

He needed a fucking nap.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi grumbled as his eyes fluttered open. It wasn’t the first time he woke up and didn’t recognize his surroundings, but it was the first time in a while that it had happened. He rolled onto his side and spotted two figures talking in hushed tones near the dresser. He squinted. It didn’t look like Kenji and Jingo but he didn’t remember hooking up with anybody after they decided to destroy his asshole. Or maybe that didn’t even happen? He would’ve expected to sleep for at least a day if that was the case.

If the two guys were someone else, which they had to have been based on how one was much taller and broader than Jingo. The other was taller and leaner than Kenji. _Shit_. Daichi was going to be fucking pissed if he was gone for too long. He fumbled around the sheets for his phone and realized the clothes he was wearing weren’t his either. 

“He’s awake.” The leaner man's voice was soft and airy, kind of angelic.

They walked toward Koushi, hesitance was obvious in their demeanor. Koushi blinked up at them and realized they were the couple he spotted at the club the night before (at least he hoped it was only the night prior). 

“Are you feeling okay?” The lean one squatted next to the bed and reached for a bottle of water sitting on the bedside table. He pointed at the cap. “This is new. It hasn’t been opened yet.”

Koushi couldn’t help the huff of laughter that came out of his mouth. “Thanks.” He took a sip and scooted up on the bed until his back was against the headboard. “Not to be rude but- who are you?”

His light brown bangs fell into his face slightly as he smiled softly. “I’m Tooru. This is my boyfriend, Ushiwaka.”

The large man looming behind Tooru sighed. “My name isn’t Ushiwaka.”

Tooru laughed gently, turning to gaze at the taller man fondly.

Koushi smirked. “What is it then, big boy?”

“Wakatoshi.”

Tooru waved his hand in dismissal. “Details, details.”

“He asked my name, Tooru, that’s an important detail.” 

“So we did have a threesome last night or what?” Koushi asked as he chugged the rest of the water bottle.

Wakatoshi frowned. “No.”

Koushi sputtered out a cough and Tooru handed him a tissue. “We didn’t?”

“No.” Wakatoshi repeated as concern and confusion plagued his face. “What makes you think we did?”

“Why else would you have brought me to a motel?”

Tooru tilted his head slightly. “Your name- it’s Koushi, right?” _‘Yes’_ “Do you remember anything from last night?”

Koushi was more relieved to hear it had indeed only been a night rather than days as he previously assumed. Daichi would be slightly more understanding. “I remember the start of a threesome.”

“Did they force you?”

Koushi raised an eyebrow at the bluntness from Wakatoshi. “Did they force me? Do you _know_ me?”

Tooru placed his elbow on the bed and leaned his cheek against his palm. “We know _of_ you, yes.”

“Then that’s a dumb fuckin’ question, isn’t it.”

Somehow, Wakatoshi frowned harder. “It’s not a dumb question. It’s a yes or no question. Just because everyone knows that you frequently use your body as a way to cope with the detrimental values of your life doesn’t mean it’s always consensual.”

Koushi felt goosebumps erupt down his arms and wasn’t sure if it was from the blatant honest Wakatoshi was verbally kicking him with or from how uncomfortable he was spending a morning after with two guys he had never had sex with. 

Koushi stared into his olive eyes. “No. They did not force me.”

Tooru glanced up at Wakatoshi and they seemed to communicate something in that split second of fond staring. He turned back toward Koushi and nodded slightly. He stood and stepped toward a paper bag sitting at the edge of the bed. Tooru lifted it and set it down. 

“There’s some clothes in here. Yours were- they weren’t savable, unfortunately.”

“Saveable?”

“They were stained with semen and blood.” Wakatoshi explained.

Koushi huffed again. “Roger that.” He leaned forward and stretched his arms over his head. “So, I can’t really offer myself up for a threesome right now. I don’t really have the energy. I might pass out but some guys are into that. I don’t care either way.”

Tooru stuttered out broken semblances of words. “Wh- Nu- No- I- We-”

Ushijma silenced him with a heavy hand on his hip. Koushi couldn’t help but notice that Daichi’s preferred way of silencing him around his friends was with a heavy hand around the back of his neck. He found himself realizing he didn’t actually like that very much.

“What Tooru is trying to say is that we aren’t expecting any kind of payment or anything like that. You seemed to be in trouble. We helped you out. You passed out so we brought you here. I did not feel comfortable bringing you into my house, though that is what Tooru wanted to do. Don’t take offense, I don’t know you or what kind of trouble you have following you around.” Wakatoshi's words were like coming up for a breath of fresh air after spending a lifetime swimming in acidic water. Koushi wasn’t sure how to take them, though.

The couple didn’t say anything else, they simply left the room and let the door shut behind them. Koushi eyed the bag with interest. He couldn’t remember the last time he bought new clothes. He crawled toward the paper bag and pulled out each item carefully. They left a cream-colored sweater that was several sizes too big. Koushi could see it on Tooru as a date night sweater. There was a pair of jeans that appeared to be too long but his size, those were probably Tooru’s. A soft t-shirt was at the bottom, also too big and looking like something Wakatoshi would wear, alongside underwear and socks. Koushi expected brand new clothing but something made his chest feel tighter than it had in years at the thought that one of them must have gone home, gone through their own belongings, and brought him their own clothes. Not knowing him and all.

Koushi felt an unfamiliar tug at his lips that wasn’t the result of trying to please someone else. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I told y'all, there's no happy for a while.
> 
> also, updated tags.

Daichi was waiting for Koushi when he got home. Koushi caught his eye and winked.

“Sawamura, fancy seeing you here.”

Daichi leaned back against Koushi’s tattered couch, glass of whiskey in hand and a cigarette in the other. Koushi had originally picked up the nasty habit from him, so the ashes falling onto his couch seemed fitting.

“Do you need a refill?”

“Sure.”

Koushi grabbed the expensive bottle of whiskey that he had never once tasted from its home on top of his fridge. He unscrewed it and caught Daichi’s eye again as he poured two fingers worth. 

“Want some?” Daichi asked, tipping the glass toward the thinner man.

Koushi settled onto his knees between Daichi’s spread legs. “No, it’s a little early for me. You know how I get.”

Daichi reached out and stroked Koushi’s hair as ashen-colored hair leaned against the inside of his thigh. He hummed in response and brushed Koushi hair back. His eyes fell onto the high color of the sweater he was wearing.

“That new?”

Koushi looked up at him in question. “Oh, the sweater? Yeah. Found it.”

“You found it?” Koushi nodded and laid his head back down. “Fuckin’ gross, Suga.”

Koushi shrugged. Daichi slowly pushed the collar down as he trailed his fingers down Koushi’s throat. He couldn’t help but notice the dark marks littering his neck.

“Those new too?”

Koushi nodded again. “Yeah, last night-”

“You weren’t there last night. Where did you go?”

“I was there for a bit-”

Daichi gripped Koushi’s hair. _There_ . _There_ was the Daichi he knew. 

“Don’t lie to me.” Daichi whispered the words.

Koushi really didn’t think he was going to be _that_ mad. He wasn’t even gone that long. Daichi dug his fingernails into Koushi’s scalp more and more with each passing second that it took for the kneeling man to answer. 

“I was there to start. I went out back for a smoke. That guy you saw me with found me out there.” Koushi explained.

Daichi’s grip loosened completely as he let go and shoved Koushi backward. Koushi grunted as he went sprawling against the floor, his back slamming against his coffee table. Daichi stood and kicked the coffee table backward. He tilted his drink back and swallowed it. He reached down to remove his belt.

“Futakuchi?”

“Yeah. Kenji.”

“Funny. I thought it was clear I didn’t want you fucking him.”

“I had no intention to-”

Daichi scoffed and Koushi let his defense die in his mouth. It was pointless. “You have _every_ intention of fucking _everyone_. Don’t you?”

What was the point in answering? Daichi was the only person who knew what he wanted to hear. Koushi usually would put in a little bit more effort and at least try to appease the man but if he was drunk in the middle of the fucking day, what was the point. 

Daichi’s palm against his face reverberated throughout his room. Koushi actually winced that time. Daichi hadn’t hit him in the face in a while. He had almost gotten used to not having to keep frozen vegetables in his freezer for instances like that one. 

“Can you keep your mind on track for five fucking seconds, Suga? Goddamn. It’s not like I’m asking a lot from you.” Daichi flicked his cigarette at Koushi and buckled his belt back in place. 

“Sorry, Daichi.” Koushi whispered as he tried to grab the cigarette before it burned a hole in his sweater. He was unsuccessful. A smear of ash and an ovular hole appeared in his sleeve.

“Clean up your fucking face. It’s nastier looking than usual. Don’t come tonight.” Daichi grabbed his jacket from Koushi’s kitchen counter and slammed the door shut behind him.

Koushi laid back on the floor and closed his eyes, letting the comfort of the cream-colored sweater swallow him.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi went back to the club the next night, needing to scratch his usual itch. He was seated on the sink trying to flick his lighter to life when a new guy walked in. He glanced at Koushi, nodded at him slightly, then went into the last stall.

Koushi leaned back against the mirror and continued flicking the lighter, watching the spark reignite over and over again. The toilet flushed, he reemerged and washed his hands. He stopped in front of Koushi, his hands stuck in his pockets.

“Need something?” Koushi asked as he eyed the younger guy. He couldn’t have been more than 18 with wild spiked light brown hair.

“Yeah. I heard you have sex.”

Koushi snorted. “I do.”

“So can you?”

“Have sex?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

The brown-haired boy blinked at him, waiting for Koushi to make some kind of move.

Koushi tilted his head slightly. “Did someone send you in here or something? What’s your name?”

“It’s Naoyasu. Yes. My friend did. He said some guy he knows said you’re really good.”

“At...sex?” Koushi asked to clarify. The boy nodded. Koushi slipped off of the sink and stood in front of him. “Okay well- I don’t top so are you looking to fuck or get fucked?”

He furrowed his eyebrows together slightly at the question and Koushi sighed. 

“Who sent you in here?”

“Daishou.”

“How about you send him in here instead.” Koushi suggested. 

Naoyasu nodded, _bowed_ , and turned back toward the door.

“Fucking goodness gracious.” Koushi muttered.

The door swung open a few seconds later and Daishou stepped in. Koushi glared at him.

“I _hate_ virgins.” 

Daishou snickered and leaned against the first stall. “I know. I thought he’d be a little more confident. He also thought you were a girl so there’s that.” He tossed a lighter to Koushi, a symbol of their strange friendship. He was always refilling Koushi on lighters.

“Thanks. Wife not here tonight?”

“Nah, she isn’t into this anymore.” Daishou side eyed Koushi for a moment. “Your man is out there.”

Koushi chuckled and inhaled. “Which one?” He exhaled out a laugh at his own joke.

“The mean one.” Daishou’s eyes reflected a moment of concern, but only a moment. He wasn’t interested in getting involved in Koushi’s drama but he always liked the smaller guy.

“He’s always out there.”

“Did he do that to your face?”

Koushi bit his lip as he smiled and stared back at Daishou. “Nah, I fell.”

“Into his fist?”

“Nope, a door.”

“You fell into a door?”

“Yes, Sugar.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Koushi laughed again and flicked his hand at Daishou. “Get outta here. People talk.”

Daishou nodded and stepped toward the sink to splash some water on his hands. “Be safe.”

Koushi nodded and took a long drag from his cigarette. He heard commotion in the hallway, what sounded like arguing, then silence. Daichi stepped into the bathroom a moment later. Koushi waved and blew him a kiss.

Daichi huffed and jerked his head toward the hallway. “Come on. Mattsun is asking for you.”

Daichi’s elusive second best friend: Issei Matsukawa. He had a husband that like to watch him fuck other people every now and then (mainly Koushi but he assumed there were others). Koushi jammed the lit end of his cigarette into the sink and skipped toward Daichi.

Daichi looked to his side and once he saw the hallway was clear, he pulled Koushi into a bruising kiss. He nudged him back into the bathroom and spun him around so Koushi’s back was against the door. Daichi pushed his tongue into Koushi’s mouth and hooked his thumb inside of his mouth, the pad of his finger brushing against Koushi’s teeth. 

“Daichi- we have a minute, yeah? Let me get you off.”

Koush was already reaching for Daichi’s zipper but Daichi stopped him with a swat of his hands. “No. Let’s go.” He wiped the spit off of Koushi’s chin and yanked the door back open.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

“Ahhh, Koushi, you fuckin’ angel. Come sit here.” Issei patted his lap and Koushi followed suit, wrapping a thin arm around his neck.

“How are we today? Is Hiro here?” Koushi glanced around and didn’t spot the even more elusive friend of Daichi’s, they usually were only seen together when the party was at their own apartment. 

Issei snorted and leaned toward Koushi. “Am I not enough for you? You like him better or something?”

Koushi nuzzled his nose against Issei’s neck and shook his head. “Of course not. You’re the better half.” Koushi flicked his tongue out and licked a not so discreet stripe over his neck. “How do you want me?”

“I have a friend I want you to meet, he’s going to be a new bodyguard of mine. Him and another guy who will be here later. I want you to give him a proper welcome.”

Koushi _hated_ giving a ‘proper welcome’. All it meant was him sucking some inexperienced “straight” virgins dick for a minute and a half (if he was lucky). When Koushi mentioned hating virgins, it was because of the ‘welcome’ parties. He was always invited to see how straight some guy was and they never were. Then again did having an experienced mouth going down on you determine your sexuality? Koushi didn’t think so but he also didn’t voice that, of course. 

So there he was staring down the tied-for-first most muscular guy he’d ever seen (Wakatoshi was beyond words as well). He smiled like the sun and his eyes were a beautiful bright golden color. He didn’t pat his lap, he tapped his hand against the unoccupied seat next to him where he sat in the corner of the booth.

Koushi took the seat and rested his elbow on his knee, his chin on his palm, and stared at the guy. “Hi.”

The man with the black and white hair leaned over Koushi, caging him into the corner. “I’m Bokuto. Koutarou Bokuto.” He extended his large hand.

“Koushi.” He accepted the greeting and fought a wince against the painful handshake. The more Koushi studied him the more he accepted that it wasn’t sunshine that he saw behind Koutarou’s smile. It was something else entirely. 

“You’ll suck me off right here, yeah? I don’t really feel like going anywhere just yet.” Koushi nodded, sparing a moment to glance at Daichi who was watching them intently. “Don’t worry about him. You don’t need his permission do you?”

“No, I-”

“Oi, Sawamura- your hot little boyfriend is going to suck my dick. You don’t mind, yeah?”

“He’s not my boyfriend so I don’t really give a fuck.”

“Not your- oh come on, you’re telling me this handiwork isn’t yours?” Koutarou yanked Koushi forward by the collar of his shirt. He licked his thumb and smeared it across Koushi’s perfectly applied cover-up. 

Everyone _knew_ what went on between Daichi and Koushi, the latter man was at least aware of that. They all knew how Daichi was behind closed doors when it was just the two of them, they just didn’t care. If he was injured enough, Koushi just stayed home and licked his wounds in private. He had only ever needed one hospital visit and that’s simply because he coughed up blood a day after Daichi kicked him in the stomach. That wasn’t even that bad. However, his wounds were never to be put on display. It was an unspoken agreement between Koushi and Daichi to uphold whatever kind of reputation Daichi had, something Koushi paid zero mind to. So the random man calling Daichi out in the middle of his own club was beyond brash. Daichi not responding was slightly more shocking. He simply smirked, the smallest upturn of his lips and tilted his head back to swallow his drink.

“He’s nobody to me, Bo, I don’t give a fuck what you do.”

It stung but when Koushi would think about it later, it didn’t sting _that_ much. Koushi opted for a laugh, earning Koutarou’s attention again. “I’ll take your dick right here, Koutarou.” He whispered the words against Koutarou’s neck as he swung his leg over toned thighs and straddled him. 

Koutarou leaned back against the cushion and lifted a joint to his mouth. He exhaled a heavy thick white puff of smoke that momentarily clouded Koushi’s vision. “I bet you can’t make me come.”

“I give you 5 minutes.” Issei jeered, motioning for a waitress to come over.

Koutarou snorted and took another hit. “I’m fuckin’ offended. Even my first time I lasted longer than- holy sweet fucking fuck-” Koutarou choked on the smoke, making his hips jolt forward. 

Koushi greedily took in as much of his cock as he could. Some well built guys really weren’t packing much beneath the belt but Koutarou was clearly inhuman. Koushi had to grip the base of his cock so he wouldn’t choke on it as the man convulsed above him.

“You got 4 minutes and 43 seconds.” Issei snickered.

“Good luck man, I can usually last about 3 minutes.” Tetsurou added, popping into the conversation from absolutely fucking nowhere.

Koushi looked up at Koutarou who had since turned to stare at him intensely, his lips parted and he panted heavily. “Fuck. Everything I’ve heard is true then.”

“His ass is tight too, doesn’t matter how many people have been in there.” Issei added. 

Koushi had to fight a grimace because he really didn’t want that larger than anybody should ever have to take cock in his ass. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard, earning a low moan from Koutarou. He was close, Koushi could tell, but he also didn’t seem like the kind of guy to lose a bet. Before Koushi realized what was happening, Koutarou had spun him around and was hovering above him. Koushi had his back against the lower part of the booth and Koutarou’s knees were on either side of his head.

Koushi squeezed his eyes shut as Koutarou slid his thick cock down his throat. He relaxed as much as he could, his jaw going slack, but _fuck_ the guy was huge. Koushi’s hands flew up to massage his balls and Koutarou groaned again.

“Fuck-” Koutarou cursed as he pulled his hips back. “If I feel your teeth- I’m cutting something off.” Koushi’s eyebrows furrowed together but he wasn’t able to think before Koutarou was fucking his mouth, hard and fast. 

He struggled to breathe as he choked on both salty precum and his own saliva. Koutarou gripped his hair with one hand and put his other on Koushi’s cheek, pressing in.

“Hah, heh- hey- I can see it in his throat-” Koutarou announced in a breathy voice. 

Issei snorted. “You’re going to fuckin’ kill him. A lot of people won’t be happy about that.”

Daichi scoffed out a laugh. “There’s plenty of other cocksleeves around here. He isn’t special. Do your worst, Bo.”

Koutarou groaned as he pushed all the way inside of Koushi’s mouth, until his nose was pressed against dark pubic hair. Koutarou’s hand wrapped in front of Koushi’s face and pinched his nostrils shut. Koushi coughed, his throat constricting around Koutarou who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it. Koushi pounded on his thigh in protest, trying to pull his head back. It burned so fucking bad. Koushi was sobbing, trying to suck in air through his mouth but he was only getting teases of oxygen. Koutarou let go of his hair and wrapped his hand around Koushi’s neck. Squeezing, squeez-ing, squeez...ing...

“Times up!”

Koutarou groaned as he immediately came down Koushi’s throat, letting him go in the process. Koushi fought the urge to gag and closed his mouth, swallowing. He was breathing deeply, his eyes still shut.

Koutarou high-fived Issei. “A-fuckin’-plus, man. You weren’t lying. I’m definitely interested in staying here as long as I get a piece of that whenever needed.”

Koushi forced a grin, opening his eyes. “Anytime.” His voice was raspy and barely audible. 

Koutarou guffawed loudly and slapped Koushi’s cheeks lightly with both hands. “I think I’m in love.”

Koushi couldn’t help but be slightly unnerved as Koutarou just ruined any previous love he had for sucking dick. He also was going to appreciate virgins more because they at least had some sense of self-control and didn’t leave him light-headed after.

Issei nudged Koushi with his foot. “Up for more?”

“You don’t need to ask.” Daichi pointed out unnecessarily.

Koushi didn’t disagree. They usually didn’t ask. Koushi nodded anyway. He moved to wipe his mouth with his sleeve and frowned at his choice of fashion, he should have kept the sweater at home no matter how warm it kept him. Tetsurou tossed him a handkerchief and Koushi saluted him in thanks. His legs were wobbly when he finally stood, following Issei to the private backroom that he liked to use. He felt Daichi’s eyes on him but he didn’t turn.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Takahiro Hanamaki was already waiting when Issei pushed the door open. He held his arms open, a soft smile on his face, and Koushi already knew it was directed at him.

“You two are a fucking pain. You like each other more than you like me.” Issei pouted as he locked the door.

Koushi melted against Hiro, wrapping his arms around him. Issei and Takahiro weren’t _that_ bad. Hiro only ever wanted to watch plus he liked to cuddle. Issei liked to fuck him raw (their little secret) and twist him into positions that he had to take up yoga for. But he didn’t hit Koush, he didn’t tear his hair out, he didn’t leave any marks. He fucked Koushi to entertain a kink of his husbands. 

“Can you hug me while he fucks me, Hiro?” Koushi gave Hiro his widest and brightest eyes until the strawberry-blonde relented. 

“Mm, let me sit.” Hiro sat on the large bed, his back against the headboard. He gently pulled Koushi into his lap. Hiro pulled off his cream-colored sweater and carefully set it to the side. He frowned at the marks on Koushi’s neck. He glanced up at Issei who avoided his gaze. 

Koushi whined. “Hiro~” 

Hiro smiled at him and pressed light kisses to the top of his shoulders as Issei tugged off his pants. Issei pulled his own clothes off and settled between Koushi’s legs. Hiro popped open a bottle of lube and leaned forward to drizzle it directly onto Koushi’s cock. His hips stuttered upward and Issei wrapped a calloused hand around his length. (Issei also used lube, prepped him, and made him come. It was the little things.)

Issei stroked Koushi slowly, thumbing at his leaking slit. Koushi rolled his head back onto Hiro’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Hiro smiled down at him and ran his fingers up Koushi’s body, lifting his shirt and exposing his chest. He lightly pinched his erect nipples. A pleased sigh escaped Koushi’s mouth. Issei and Hiro were the only two people Koushi would even think about breaking one of his most important rules for. They were the only ones allowed to hear his voice because they helped him remember that sex was supposed to feel _good_. 

Koushi came in minutes, gasping and gripping Hiro’s thighs. Issei hovered over him, kissing Hiro deeply as he pushed inside of Koushi. Koushi inhaled sharply with the intrusion, thankful Issei prepped him as much as he could. He hooked his legs around Issei’s lower back and entwined his fingers with Hiro’s. 

It was the most vanilla sex he’d had in at least a year. After Hiro left and the two men were getting dressed, Issei told him that Hiro had a list of fantasies that he was going through. That was the fourth one. Koushi smiled, happy to be of service to the two of them.

Issei winked at him before retreating back to the VIP area. Koushi went back to the bathroom. 

He frowned when he noticed the _out of order_ sign on the door. He rolled his eyes and pushed the door open anyway, it hadn’t been locked. He heard high pitched moans coming from a stall and was surprised to know someone else was having sex in there. He was about to turn around when a familiar grunt caught his attention. 

Koushi spun around and kicked the door to the last stall open.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” A nameless woman screeched, scrambling to cover herself.

Koushi was ashamed to say that his lip started to quiver when he saw Daichi underneath her. Daichi simply stared at him, expression unchanging from downright cruel.

“Shut the fucking door, dipshit.”

Koushi stuttered to respond. The woman rolled her eyes and slammed the door in his face.

“Dai...chi.” Koushi whispered his name into the air of the bathroom. 

Koushi hadn’t seen Daichi fuck anybody else in years. As far as he was aware, Daichi was exclusive with him. It didn’t make sense. How was he not enough? He knew he was- he knew he was good enough, he was more than enough to please Daichi. He had to be. He had to be. He had to be. If he wasn’t- then everything they said was true. He _was_ useless, he _was_ trash. Koushi sputtered out a cough and felt bile rising in his throat. He hurriedly made his way to the alley and emptied the contents of his stomach, mostly semen, onto the cement wall.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi locked himself in his apartment for 4 days. Miwa stopped by each afternoon to give him a small bag of food. Koushi knew she took care of her little brother as best she could so the food she offered him came from a shrine she visited. Whenever Daichi left extra money laying around for him, he would slip it under her door and sprint out of the building. 

Koushi was flicking through his phone when his door opened slowly around 10 at night. His eyes didn’t leave his phone. Two sets of footsteps made their way into his apartment, stopping in the kitchen first. They spoke, a conversation Koushi didn’t bother listening to, then the lighter pair of footsteps retreated. Koushi could _smell_ him. He smelled like warm buttery whiskey and stale cigarettes. It filled the air around Koushi and if he really concentrated, he could choke on it.

The cushion near his feet dipped. His feet were lifted and placed into a lap. Koushi nearly dropped his phone. He moved it slightly to look and make sure it really was Daichi. It was, in all his brooding buff glory. Sitting there. On Koushi’s couch. With his socked feet in his lap like they were in a fucking romance drama.

Daichi turned to look at him wordlessly.

Koushi raised an eyebrow. “You’re being overly affectionate today.”

“You’re complaining?”

Koushi shrugged. “No.” He dug the ball of his foot into Daichi’s crotch. “Need me?”

“Yeah but I don’t have time. Koutarou wants you to have a bodyguard.”

Koush dropped his phone that time. “Excuse me?”

“Koutarou wants you to have a bodyguard.” Daichi repeated.

“What the fuck for?”

Daichi shrugged and Koushi scoffed. Daichi turned to narrow his eyes at him. “Don’t be so fuckin’ ungrateful. I told him you don’t need one. He _insisted_.”

“I thought Issei said Koutarou _was_ a new bodyguard.”

“He lied. I’m the bodyguard.”

Koushi raised both eyebrows. “I don’t understand-”

“And you don’t fuckin’ need to, Suga. Stop asking questions.” Daichi wanted to hit him, Koushi could tell, but for whatever reason: he didn’t.

“Was that him?”

Daichi nodded. “Have you met him before?”

“I didn’t look at him.” Koushi pulled his feet out of Daichi’s grip and stood. “So what does this mean? I’m not- you’re not telling me I can’t go to the club- I’m not going to just fucking sit here.”

Daichi stood and took Koushi’s hand. Koushi’s breath nearly stopped. “No. He said you can do what you want. Just be there when he calls.”

“Daichi- what’s going on?”

“You’re his now, Koushi.”

“I’m what?”

“Koutarou. You’re his.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

Koushi dropped his hand and took a step backwards. “You- Daichi, you didn’t-”

Daichi stuffed his hands into his front pockets and had an emotion splayed across his face that Koushi didn’t even recognize. Guilt? Shame? Regret?

“It was a bet. I really didn’t think I’d lose. I’m pretty sure Tetsu stacked the bet against me but it’s all done. It’s temporary, by the way. For a month. He said he’d return you in one piece.” Daichi explained nonchalantly as if Koushi’s world wasn’t shattering.

“I- I don’t- I don’t understand- where do I go? Do I stay here? Daichi, please don’t do this-”

“Pack a bag. You’re going with the bodyguard.”

“Daichi, please!” Koushi gripped Daichi’s forearm, crying for the first time in what felt like 10 years.

“It’s done, Suga.” Daichi wiped a tear from Koushi’s face and smiled sympathetically. “You’ll be alright. You always are.”

Koushi screamed and clawed at Daichi, begged him to stay, but he shut the door softly between them. Koushi could see the statuesque figure of the bodyguard in the hallway before the door shut. Koushi doubled over, struggling to catch his breath. He sobbed and reached for that pale sweater that had been keeping him company.

What could he do- maybe Hiro would help? Issei? No- why would Issei have lied? When it came down to it, they were a unit. They wouldn’t help him. Who else- who else. Daishou? Maybe. No, fuck! Koushi couldn’t unheave his life like that. His wife didn’t deserve it and neither did Daishou. Fuck. Koushi cursed and sobbed into the sweater. 

He had no doubt that Koutarou was a fucking animal and he wasn’t sure that he would survive that time. There really was only so much one body could take and five minutes with him put him near his limit, he didn’t want to know what a month would mean.

  
  
  


A knock on his door interrupted his packing. A booming voice came from the hallway. “Are you done?”

“If I was-” Koushi swallowed his retort. He didn’t feel like getting smacked around yet. “Yes.” Koushi picked up his duffel bag and stood. He pulled on a hooded sweater and a pair of thick sunglasses. He wrapped a scarf around his neck and stepped into the hall, not looking at the man. Koushi followed him outside of the building. They walked a block before an alarm chirped as the bodyguard unlocked a white SUV. 

Koushi closed his eyes and leaned against the frigid glass.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why i'm writing 5k+ chapters. enjoy it tho.

He woke up when the vehicle came to a stop. He saw a large house outside his window and cringed at the idea of becoming somebody’s personal sex slave. He wasn’t into it. At least the house was nice. It was at least three stories with large windows, snow sprinkled across the roof. 

The bodyguard opened his door and he swatted the man’s hand away. He stepped out into the cold and followed the man inside. The house was noisy, too noisy for Koushi to be comfortable in. There was scattered moans and sobbing and banging echoing in the large foyer.

“I’ll show you your room.” 

Koushi followed the bodyguard down the hall and past 212 different rooms before finding his own. It looked simple enough. It was the size of his living room with a bed, dresser, private bathroom. That was nice. Maybe being a sex slave wouldn’t be _that_ bad.

“Is Koutarou here?”

“No.”

“Will he be here soon?”

“No.”

“Then why the fuck am I here?”

The bodyguard seemed to fidget for a moment. “I was simply told to acquire you and bring you back here. Bokuto doesn’t live here. He throws parties here. I was told you volunteered to come and spend the night here.”

Koushi narrowed his eyes. “No the fuck I did not-” He lowered his voice. “No. I was sold to Koutarou after Daichi lost a bet. I didn’t- No- What the fuck. Take me home-”

The man was suddenly inches from his face. He reached out and pushed Koushi’s hood off. He pulled off the shorter man’s sunglasses and his scarf. He gingerly touched the fabric of the sweater he wore underneath.

It was only then that Koushi realized the bodyguard was Wakatoshi.

“What are you doing here?” Koushi asked, his voice just above a whisper.

Wakatoshi's thumb touched Koushi’s cheek and the smaller man felt the same tug of warmth, a small spark deep inside a part of his body that he didn’t even realize existed anymore. He looked up at Wakatoshi, eyebrows pushed together.

The door swung open and Wakatoshi turned.

“Ohhh, Ushi my man, are we getting a taste?” Koutarou asked, announcing his presence.

“Bokuto- I wasn’t expecting you.”

Koutarou shrugged and slapped Wakatoshi on the back amicably. “I decided to see how this little angel was settling in.” He turned his golden gaze toward Koushi. “How are you settling in?”

“Just fine-”

“He’s ill.”

Koutarou side eyed Wakatoshi. “He’s ill? He doesn’t look ill.” Koutarou studied Koushi, humming. “He is a little flushed.”

Koushi put all his strength into not flinching when Koutarou touched his face, pressing the back of his hand against Koushi’s forehead. Koushi forced himself to lean into the touch.

“He is sick. It is coming out of both ends.” Wakatoshi stated simply.

Koushi scowled and Koutarou gagged.

“For the love of fuck, Waka, can you _not_.” Koutarou stepped away from Koushi. “Get him out of here.”

Koushi frowned. “What? What do you-”

“Now, Waka.” Koutarou waved his hand at them. “”Throw him outside or something, I’m not interested anymore.” He left the room.

Koushi’s nostrils flared as he faced Wakatoshi. “What the _fuck_? Where am I supposed to go? I don’t even know where I am-”

“Come with me. I’ll take your bag.”

Koushi scoffed and followed the man back to the same SUV. He turned to see if Koutarou watched them leave but he wasn’t anywhere to be found. Koushi climbed into the back of the car and waited for Wakatoshi.

“Where are we going?”

Wakatoshi stared at Koushi in the rearview mirror, watching the ashen-haired man resign to whatever was going to happen next. Wakatoshi decided not to respond and Koushi didn’t seem to notice his lack of response. Wakatoshi sent a text and proceeded to drive the 30 miles to his home. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Daichi slammed his phone against the table after ending the call. He was seething. He picked it up again and dialed. 

“Daichi, my boy! How are you?”

“Where is he?”

“Where is who? You gotta be more specific, man.” Koutarou responded with a laugh.

“Where is Suga?”

“Oh. I had Waka kick him out. Why didn’t you tell me he was sick? He was all flushed and his eyes were all glassy and you know I hate sick people! I was really looking forward to fucking him into the floor. Do you know any other guys who-”

Daichi beamed the phone against the wall that time, shattering it. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Wakatoshi pulled into his driveway just as his front door opened. He glanced at the rearview mirror but Koushi was asleep again. He went around to the back door and pulled it open.

“Wakatoshi- what is going on?” Tooru asked as he shivered in the cold. He looked into the car and saw Koushi sleeping. “What did you do?”

“I did not do anything. Bokuto asked me to throw him out.” Wakatoshi reached into the car and grabbed Koushi’s duffel bag.

The movement stirred the younger man. Koushi blinked awake and rubbed his eyes. He frowned as he spotted Tooru and Wakatoshi. “What is going on?”

Tooru leaned into the car and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Please come inside. It’s cold.”

“I don’t want to.”

Wakatoshi frowned slightly. “Then don’t. We are going inside.”

Tooru started to protest but Wakatoshi grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door. Koushi heard him murmuring _I’m not going to make him stay here if he doesn’t want to._

“Wait- wait. I’ll come. Wait. Don’t- don’t leave me out here.”

Koushi slipped out of the car and followed them inside. The house was quaint, two stories and seemed to be a bit isolated. The foggy weather was obstructing how close or far away the next house was. Koushi would be worried if he didn’t feel like staying at Koutarou’s house would have been worse. He rubbed his arms for some sense of friction as he glanced at the photos hanging on the walls. They were mostly of Tooru and what he assumed were his friends. There weren’t many photos of Wakatoshi but that made sense if he was involved in the bodyguard business. Those guys were discreet just because of all the wild shit they had to do, Koushi had been witness to enough of it to know 

He pulled off his jacket and set it over his arm. Tooru held a hand out.

“I can take that. Do you want tea?”

“Why did he bring me here?”

“Where else did you want to go?”

“I-” Koushi clamped his mouth shut. They were decent people, they didn’t need to be lied to. “I don’t know. You just- you don’t- you really shouldn’t have-”

Wakatoshi fiddled with the keys in his hand. “I know who you are, Koushi Sugawara. I know what you do. I know who you think you’re indebted to.”

Tooru put a hand on Wakatoshi's shoulder and the bigger man stopped talking. He shared a look with Tooru and shook his head slightly.

“Who you _think_ I’m indebted to.” Koushi muttered as he sat on their couch. “But you still brought me here.”

Tooru folded Koushi’s jacket and set it on the back of the couch. “Will you let us help you?”

“Probably not.” Koushi admitted. 

“Then do you want to go home?” 

Koushi glanced at Tooru and couldn’t help but appreciate the resolve in his eyes. Beneath that nearly flawless exterior was dead set resolve. “Can I stay tonight? This couch is comfortable.”

Wakatoshi shook his head. “You’re not sleeping on the couch. We have a guest room, you’ll sleep there.”

Koushi nodded. 

“Unless you’d prefer the couch, we don’t-”

“He’s not sleeping on the couch.”

“But Ushiwaka we should give him the choice!” Tooru was talking with his hands. It was cute.

“Who would want to sleep on a couch?”

“You like sleeping on the floor sometimes.”

“Sleeping on the floor is good for your back. I told you to read that very informative article about the health benefits of sleeping on a hard surface. It can help align your spine-”

Koushi watched them bicker with a slight smile on his face. They were like an old married couple, it was adorable to watch. He could knock back an entire bag of popcorn using them as his sole entertainment. 

Tooru relented and showed Koushi to the guest room. It was cozy: housing a full sized bed, a small dresser, and a TV sitting on top of it. The walls were painted the softest shade of blue he’d ever seen, it was like the sky just before dawn, when others were waking and Koushi was headed to bed. Koushi set his duffel bag down near the door and sat on the bed. Tooru hovered for a moment before speaking.

“If you need anything, we are just down the hall. There’s leftovers in the fridge and there’s tea or water, juice I think. Whatever you’d like.” Tooru leaned against the doorway.

“Come sit with me.”

Tooru entered the room happily and sat next to Koushi on the bed. What he wasn’t expecting was for Koushi to straddle him and try and stick his hand in his pants. 

Tooru yelped and grabbed Koushi’s wrist.

“What? I know you want me.” Koushi whispered as he ground against Tooru.

“I- I- I don’t- Please, don’t-” Tooru flailed as he tried to push Koushi off of him.

Koushi slid his hand between them and ran his fingers across Tooru’s stomach. “Don’t lie to me, why else would you-” It was Koushi’s turn to screech when two strong arms lifted him off of Tooru. 

Wakatoshi set Koushi on the bed and Tooru leaped off of it, standing behind the larger man. “We aren’t doing this because we expect anything from you. I won’t tolerate you harassing Tooru.”

“Ushiwaka, it’s fine, I’m fine-”

“It’s not fine. If you’re going to stay then you’re going to have to control yourself at least for a night.”

Koushi huffed and moved off of the bed. “Then I’m not staying.” He pushed past the couple and grabbed his bag, heading for the door. He yanked his jacket off of the back of the couch and pulled it on.

“Wait- Koushi, please wait. It’s fine, you didn’t- you didn’t mean that. I’m fine!” Tooru exclaimed as he reached for Koushi.

Koushi backed away and clutched his back. He scoffed and smiled, not an ounce of joy behind the action. “You said you know me but you don’t fucking know me at all, okay? Get that through your heads. I did mean it, I know you want something from me and that’s all I have to offer so take it or fuckin’ leave it.”

Tooru started to say something but Wakatoshi spoke first. “We will leave it. I will give you either a ride or some money to get home.”

“I’ll take the money.”

Koushi couldn’t look at Tooru as Wakatoshi reached into his wallet and fished out bills. Tooru’s lip was quivering and his eyes were glazing over as he tried to send Koushi nonverbal cues of how badly he wanted him to just stay _one damn night_. But Koushi couldn’t do that. He at least had a better sense of others preservation to spare them from Daichi knocking down their front door at 4am when he inevitably found their house.

Koushi gripped the cash in one hand and pulled his phone out with the other. He gave them a two finger wave and opened the door. The icy air settled against his skin and he smiled at them. “Thank you for your hospitality but you will regret letting me stay so let’s avoid that.”

Koushi pulled the door shut before Tooru could argue any further. He pulled his coat as tightly as it would go and dialed a number with shaky fingers

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

“Nng- fuck. I’m- Almost, almost, almostalmostalmost-”

Koushi lifted his head and wiped his bottom lip on a spare tissue.

“Thanks for the ride.”

“Thanks for the blowie. Beautiful as always.”

“That was the thanks- I wasn’t actually thanking _you_.” Koushi responded, his tone teasing.

Tetsurou rolled his eyes. “You’re snarky today.”

Koushi shrugged. “Long night.”

“I kinda wanna fuck, are you down? I can get hard again pretty fast.”

“Can we do it later? I’ll probably fall asleep during.”

Tetsurou groaned. “You’re such a fucking pain. Get out.”

Koushi blew Tetsurou a kiss and dragged himself into his apartment. He unlocked the door and dropped his duffel bag. He kicked it across the room.

“Where in the holy fuck have you been?”

Koushi bit back a groan and went for his bed. “Daichi- can I just sleep. 5 minutes. Give me 5 minutes. Please.” Koushi rolled onto his stomach and nuzzled his head against his pillow.

Daichi sat on the couch for a moment watching him before kicking his shoes off. He yanked his belt off and folded it in half. He gripped both ends of it, raised it over his head, and brought it down against Koushi’s back.

Koushi was already biting his pillow when he heard Daichi’s belt unbuckle. He knew it was going to go only a few different ways. He didn’t anticipate that Daichi was going to hit him with the belt but it wasn’t completely out of the range of options. Daichi settled with his knees on either side of Koushi’s hips and he looped the belt around Koushi’s neck.

“Where. Were. You.”

Koushi coughed as Daichi tightened the belt. “You- you sent me there- you sent me to Koutarou’s-”

Daichi yanked the belt tighter. “Don’t fucking lie to me. Keiji was there- remember him?”

Keiji Akaashi. Koushi wanted to sob into his pillow but he knew that would only entice Daichi further. Keiji hung around the club before Koushi, he was in the bathroom first. He belonged to somebody else, Koushi never met the man but knew he was older (much older). Keiji was smarter than Koushi though, he was making money and he got out. He owned a coffee shop somewhere, last Koushi heard. Keiji went from turning tricks in a bathroom to customizing espresso drinks and Koushi was about to be killed in his own bed.

“The bodygu- Daichi-I can’t- breathe-” Daichi loosened his grip to let him talk. “The bodyguard- he dropped me off somewhere. I didn’t know where I was. I had to call for help.”

“Who the fuck did you call and why wasn’t it me?”

“I called Tetsu- you can ask him. I didn’t call you because it was late and I didn’t want to disturb you- it’s late as fuck.” Koushi coughed and drooled all over his pillow as he clawed at the belt.

Daichi removed it and sat up, still straddling Koushi. “You call me. Do you hear me?” Daichi gripped his hair and yanked his head back. “You call me and only me.”

Koushi nodded as a shuddered breath escaped his mouth. “Yes, Daichi, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Let me make it up to you-”

“No. You’re going to lay there. I’m going to call someone to come fuck you and then it’s going to be my turn. Do you understand?”

“Yes- i understand. I’m sorry, Daichi.”

  
  
  


The friend Daichi called arrived after about ten short minutes, Daichi stayed on top of Koushi the entire time. He was there no more than another fifteen minutes before Koushi heard him zip up and leave. Koushi wasn’t even undressed, his pants were just yanked down below his ass. Daichi removed them the rest of the way and told him to take off his shirt and sweater as well. Koushi laid back down on his stomach but Daichi gripped his hip and flipped him over.

“I want you to look at me.”

Koushi nodded and raised his knees, trying to gauge Daichi’s mood. The other guy didn’t prep him that well and Daichi was on the larger side. Daichi generally took his time but if his attitude lately was any indication of how that moment was going to go, Koushi wasn’t hoping for anything positive. Daichi hiked his legs up to his shoulders, bending him in half. He cupped Koushi’s face and tugged on his bottom lip with his thumb. Koushi stared up at him in pure bewilderment.

The last thing Koushi remembered was that light touch then a flash of something he’s never seen in Daichi’s eyes, something akin to pure abhorrence toward him. Something rock solid connected with Koushi’s jaw. A bone in his face cracked and Koushi passed out.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

When Koushi was 7, he lost both of his parents. He would’ve been fine on his own, fine struggling to survive and living with a friend of a friend’s friend, but he had his little brother to take care of. Haruto Sugawara. His name meant _soar_. He was only 3 years old when he died. Koushi tried but he couldn’t help him. He didn’t know what happened to Haruto until he was older, septicemia didn’t mean anything to a 9 year old. He just knew Haruto cut himself on a rogue piece of metal at the playgroup then started coughing up blood a few days later. Before Koushi knew it, he was alone. His friend’s friend’s friend didn’t want anything to do with taking care of him, so he was passed around. They kept him wherever he could be useful, that’s how being subservient was engraved in his mind from such a young age.

That was why when he met Daichi, Koushi knew he had to be useful. If he couldn’t be useful with something Daichi needed, then he had to be useful with something Daichi wanted. Koushi easily learned that he could give anybody what they wanted.

He lost track of his body count. It didn’t matter. There were so few along the way that he remembered but so many people knew that he belonged to Daichi. They weren’t in any semblance of a relationship, Daichi wasn’t his _boyfriend_. Koushi was just his. That was the only reason he was still allowed to exist. 

Koushi thought about the first time he met Daichi: the first time he spotted him across a crowded club, throwing his head back in laughter. The first time he saw Daichi, broad shouldered and tall but not looming- no. Wait. His mind was playing tricks on him. That wasn’t Daichi- who was it? Who- who was it-

_“...a seizure...malnutrition...no STI...somehow...low blood...anemia...lucky-”_

One word never used to describe Koushi was lucky. He wasn’t lucky. Luck was not on his side pre-Daichi, during-Daichi, and it won’t be on his side post-Daichi. Koushi wasn’t lucky, he was convenient. He was- he was _useless_ . He was _trash_ . He was a _slut_ . He was _pathetic_ . He wasn’t _anything_ to _anybody._

_“...please...we-we’re worried...he’s- no, he’s...friend-”_

Koushi wanted to open his eyes so badly but it just wasn’t happening. He let himself drift off again, into the warmth of the scratchy cotton he was lying against.

_“...rest…”_

_“...rest…”_

_“...rest…”_

_“...irregular heart rate...unrespon-...stimuli...”_

_“...progress...hopeful…”_

Koushi opened his eyes. 

He opened his eyes to an empty room. 

A flood of white-coat wearing doctors and dark scrub top wearing nurses entered the room in a flurry as he gagged on the tube in his mouth. 

“You’re okay, Mr. Sugawara, you’re okay. Let me remove this- hold on, please.”

Koushi gagged one last time as the rubbery plastic was gently pried from his throat. He coughed and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to catch his breath. He cracked his eyes open and blinked up at the ceiling. 

“-wara, can you hear me?”

Koushi turned his head to the side. He nodded. The name tag said _Shirabu, K_. 

“Mr. Sugawara-”

“Don’t-” Koushi croaked. He cleared his throat and tried again, quieter. “Koushi.”

Shirabu’s eyes crinkled slightly at the corner. “Koushi, I supposed that’s a yes on whether or not you’re hearing me.”

Koushi nodded again. “Yes.” He cleared his throat again. “Where-” Koushi swallowed and stared back up at the ceiling. He coughed loudly.

“Don’t try to talk so much, your throat is probably sore. Are you asking where you are?” _Nod_. “You’re at Sendai Hospital. Do you remember what happened?”

Koushi shook his head. He remembered- what did he remember? He remembered Koutarou’s little palace. Wakatoshi- Tooru- their home. He remembered going to his own home and going to sleep. He shook his head again.

“You were found by your neighbor, a Miwa Kageyama. She went to visit you, she said she visited you every afternoon. You were unconscious in your bed. Is any of this familiar?”

Koushi shook his head.

Shirabu nodded slightly. “That’s okay.”

Koushi’s eyebrows furrowed together and he turned toward Shirabu again, a question on his lips that he couldn’t put forth.

“You’ve been here for 5 days, 4 nights. It looks like you were attacked, possibly in your sleep. Um- Koushi, how much do you want to know?”

_Everything_. Koushi’s eyes said it all. He nodded for Shirabu to continue.

“You had a damaged orbital bone. We were able to fix it successfully, you’re a little less pretty than you were before but that’s just making life fair to the rest of us-” Koushi coughed out a laugh and gripped Shirabu’s forearm. Shirabu continued, “Your nose was nearly fracture, but not broken. You’re pretty lucky considering. The most concerning and where you’ll probably have the most pain is your mouth. You lost a tooth and cracked another but I know a great dentist that I’m going to refer you to.”

Koushi nodded slowly. “Has- is any-any body-”

Shirabu smiled again and stood. “You do have a visitor that’s been coming everyday to see you. There’s been two men that have come most frequently. One of them is here now, would you like me to bring him in?”

Koushi nodded as fervently as he could. He didn’t know what he was expecting, or rather who he was expecting. It certainly wasn’t who he saw. When Shirabu said _two men_ he expected-

“Suga. You’re awake.”

Koushi stared at Daichi, unsure if he was surprised or suspicious. Someone wouldn’t just break into his apartment. The place was owned by Daichi and that was public knowledge. Whatever happened to Koushi was either Daichi or it was commanded by Daichi.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Shirabu left the room.

Koushi stared at Daichi, unblinking and unmoving. 

“How are you feeling?”

Koushi cleared his throat and willed his voice to power through. “Did- did you- did you-”

“Did I see what happened? No-”

“No- Dai- did you- Did you do this?” Koushi managed to get out after a few pauses.

Daichi pulled a chair close to his bed and sat. He leaned his elbows on the mattress. “You think I would do this to you?”

What the fuck was he supposed to say to that? Of course Daichi was capable of it but- Koushi couldn’t help but still have the slightest amount of doubt that landed in Daichi’s favor. He wouldn’t _kill_ Koushi. Not when it came down to it.

Koushi shook his head enough for Daichi to smile, a barely there quirk of his lips that was something Koushi rarely saw. Daichi reached out a hand and found purchase on Koushi’s wrist. Koushi welcomed the pressure, closing his eyes at the familiarity.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

When Koushi opened his eyes again, it was to arguing. Loud voices were heard from the hallway. He rolled his head to the side to peer through the sliding doors. He saw him, one half of the men from his dreams. _Tooru_. He was screaming at- at who? Daichi? Koushi squinted. Tooru was screaming at Daichi, gesturing loudly with his hands. 

A third booming voice quieted Tooru down and Koushi would recognize that voice anywhere. 

Shirabu appeared next to try and dissolve the tension. He motioned toward Koushi and they all became silent at once. Koushi’s eyes landed on Tooru first, sensing the most discomfort from him even through the closed door. Tooru looked livid but also scared. He had reached back for Wakatoshi and was holding onto the hem of his shirt. Wakatoshi was not giving Koushi that dreaded _I told you so_ look and he would forever be grateful for it. Daichi was done with the conversation.

Shirabu entered the room, hushing Tooru when he tried to enter as well.

“How are you feeling tonight, Koushi?”

“I’m okay. What’s going on?” Koushi asked quietly, sparing another glance for Tooru.

“You’ve got a lot of hot men waiting for you, do you know that?” Koushi coughed out a laugh. Shirabu patted his arm. “Sorry, sorry. The big one- the uh, the shorter-ish big one-” _Daichi_ . “He doesn’t want anybody else coming in to see you. I told him I can’t really stipulate that, he isn’t family, and he got all huffy. The other big one-” _Wakatoshi._ “He just got here. The really pretty one-” _Tooru_. “-has been arguing with the smaller big one about what happened to you. If you ask me, he seems to think the little-big man had something to do with it.” 

“Daichi. Wakatoshi. Tooru.” Koushi muttered, eyeing each man who were all still staring into his room. Wakatoshi was whispering to Tooru. Koushi eyed them and as much as it seemed like the pants in the relationship were worn by Wakatoshi, he didn’t doubt that Tooru was the feral one.

Shirabu glanced at the men then turned back to Koushi. “Should I- did you want me to let anybody in?” 

Koushi swallowed audibly and nodded. “I don’t care. They can all come in.”

Shirabu hesitated for a moment but eventually nodded his head and let them all in.

Tooru pressed the back of his hand against Koushi’s forehead. “You feel feverish. Is he feverish?”

“I’m fine-”

“He’s running a bit warm but we haven’t approached a fever. He’s recovering nicely. His orbital bone wasn’t as badly damaged as it appeared. His nose is healing well. I know his face looks nasty but-”

“His face isn’t nasty.” Tooru whispered, earning a glare from Daichi. 

Koushi simply stared up at him, confused as to why he came. Why any of them came. Daichi made sense for the most part, he was always keeping tabs on Koushi. If Tooru and Wakatoshi weren’t looking for sex, then why the fuck were they there?

“He’s going to be discharged later this evening, will one of you be-”

“We will take him home.” Tooru cut off Shirabu.

Koushi narrowed his eyes slightly. Daichi stood and moved on the other side of Koushi’s bed. 

“I’ll take him home. I don’t even know who the fuck you are or who you _think_ you are to him but he’s mine.” Daichi’s words were venomous. Before, Koushi would have felt a sting of pride hearing Daichi defend him like that but lying in a hospital bed and completely unaware of how he got there, he felt nothing.

Tooru’s hands balled into fists as he shook with anger. Wakatoshi grounded him with a hand on his waist, pulling him back slightly.

Koushi watched them interact curiously before speaking. “I can get home on my own. I’m fine.” He turned to Daichi who was scowling at Tooru. “You- don’t you need to get to the club?” Daichi frowned but nodded. He left the room without another word.

He focused on the couple next. “You two- I told you,” Koushi sighed, looking away. “I told you not to get involved. I told you that you would regret it.”

“I-”

Koushi cut off Tooru trying to interrupt. “No- I don’t- fuck. I don’t care! I don’t get this- I don’t have anything for you- I’m not anything. Just- stop. Please. Leave me alone. You have to leave me alone.”

Wakatoshi's mouth was set in a thin hard line. Tooru’s shoulders started shaking and whether it was from pain or anger, Koushi couldn’t tell because he avoided eye contact. Tooru didn’t say anything else, he sniffled quietly and left. Wakatoshi followed him. He gazed at Koushi as he started pushing the door and Koushi peered up to meet his red-rimmed eyes.

“We could have helped you. It is not that we want something from you, it truly isn’t. It is not some kind of savior complex. We just- we could have helped you.”

Koushi wiped a tear that he didn’t realize had fallen but he bit back a reply.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

The hospital had a service that drove Koushi home. He didn’t reach out and let anybody know what time he was headed home so he would arrive at a silent apartment. As his life went, however, that was not the case.

“Not sick anymore, are you?” Golden eyes and a grin were leaning against his doorway.

Koushi smiled slightly, the corner of his mouth turning up. “Sick is a relative term.” Koushi unlocked his door and Koutarou followed him in.

Koushi held in a sigh. He wasn’t ready for the kind of sex that Koutarou probably wanted. He would probably pass out but maybe that would make him get it over with faster. That would definitely be preferable.

“Want a drink? I’m not even sure what I have.” Koushi dropped his bag near the door, kicked his shoes off, and made his way toward his fridge.

“How long do you have to wear all that?” Koutarou continued leaning against the doorjamb as he pointed at Koushi’s face bandages.

He was still wearing a brace-like wrap on his nose that was starting to itch. Shirabu said he didn’t need to keep it on. He had some tape near his eyebrow that needed another couple of days to hold a stitch together.

Koushi shrugged. “Another day or so.” He grabbed two bottles from the fridge and offered Koutarou one. “Beer?”

Koutarou nodded and closed Koushi’s front door. 

“What are you doing here?” Koushi asked, something seemingly out of character from him. 

Koutarou down the entire beer and set the bottle on the counter. “Just checking on you, angel.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“Have you seen yourself?”

“Today? Unfortunately.” Koushi snorted as he took a sip.

Koutarou’s piercing gaze stayed on him and they leaned against his kitchen counters in silence, the only sound being Koushi swallowing his beer.

“Well, I’m okay, so-”

“Do you wanna make out?”

Koushi choked on his beer. He sputtered out a cough and wiped the liquid from his chin. “ _Make out_? Like- kiss?” He couldn’t remember the last kiss he had, not on the mouth anyway. He thought back and could only remember the moment right before he was told to leave the bathroom to go meet Koutarou. 

“Yeah, is that a no?” 

Koushi chewed on his lip for a moment but shook his head in the end. “Uh, yeah- we can...make out.”

Koutarou grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the bed. He motioned toward the bed with a slight nod of his head and Koushi sat. He pushed himself backward until his back was against the wall at the side of his bed and Koutarou had enough space to settle in front of him. Koutarou pulled his hoodie off, revealing a flash of his lower stomach and thin line of hair as his shirt lifted. He tossed his hoodie to the side and smiled again.

“It’s a little warm in here.”

As if Koushi hadn’t learned that line so many times before. He simply nodded and spread his legs. He wondered if he should’ve just kept them straight, it’d be easier to take his pants off that way but maybe-

Koutarou dove toward his face. The kiss was all tongue and teeth and messy. Koushi tried to slow him down but Koutarou seemed determined to do...something. After a moment, Koutarou pulled back, frowning.

“What’s wrong?”

Koushi immediately shook his head. “Nothing-”

“Am I a bad kisser?” Koutarou’s frown deepened and Koushi couldn’t help but think that he looked like a puppy

“No- well- no, it’s just-”

“Show me.”

“ _What?”_

Koutarou _whined_ and leaned back, laying down on the bed. “Can you just- show me.”

“How to kiss?”

_Nod_.

Koushi hesitantly laid down next to Bokuto. He still had no idea what the fuck was happening. This wasn’t the same guy that nearly choked the life out of him with his dick. Koutarou was staring at the ceiling and tugging on the hem of his shirt almost...nervously? Koushi pressed his palm to Koutarou’s cheek and turned his head, the rest of his body followed. 

“Let me lead, yeah?” Koutarou nodded and closed his eyes. “Just- just go slower.” 

Koushi lightly kissed the corner of his mouth. Koushi liked kissing. He liked to kiss, liked to be kissed. It just wasn’t something that somebody looking for a quickie in a bathroom stall did. One also couldn’t wear a condom while kissing so that made Koushi wary about it. Plus, even though he smoked he hated tasting it on another person. Koushi kissed Koutarou slowly, moving a thumb to his jaw to open his mouth slightly.

Koushi’s first kiss was when he was 13. His ‘caretaker’ left him in the hands of their cousin who was a 19 year old woman that had previously shown far too much of an interest in Koushi. She told him they were going to play a game and Koushi, craving some kind of positive human interaction, believed her. He let her tie him up. He let her blindfold him. He didn't tell anybody that she stole his first kiss.

His second kiss was when he was 15. He was hanging outside of a liquor store asking strangers for money when he saw the prettiest man he’d ever seen before. He was older, taller, bigger, and just more- Koushi accepted his money and traded $20 for a sloppy makeout session and a handjob. It went downhill from there.

“Do I touch you?” Koutarou’s question interrupted his daydreaming. 

“Mmh.” Koushi responded with a hum.

He didn’t even realize who was in front of him anymore. He just wanted to kiss him. Koushi swung his leg over Koutarou and straddled him, not releasing his mouth. Koutarou’s hands settled on his hips, his thumbs hooking into the top of his pants. Koushi pressed his chest against Koutarou and wrapped an arm around his neck, lifting his head. Their tongues intertwined in a spit slick mess of lips and heavy breathing. Koushi reached between them and unbuttoned Koutarou’s jeans.

A tight grip around his wrist stopped him. Koushi blinked down at him in confusion. 

“No.”

Koushi stared at him for a moment before returning to their make out session. One of his hands gripped Koutarou’s long gray hair as he rolled his hips. Koutarou gripped his waist and held him still. 

Koushi lifted his head again. “Okay- what the fuck?”

“Excuse me?” A gray eyebrow arched at him.

“You really just want to kiss? That’s it?”

“That’s what I said.” Koutarou responded.

He gripped the back of Koushi’s neck and pulled their lips together again. He mimicked Koushi’s earlier movement and pressed his fingers against Koushi’s jaw, prying his mouth open. Koushi tried to move his hips again and Koutarou flipped their positions easily and quickly. He pressed against Koushi, pinning him to the mattress.

Koushi groaned into Koutarou’s mouth, his nails digging into the soft cotton shirt he was wearing. He tried to move but the bigger man was caging him in. It was too much. It was suffocating. It was too much. Koushi scratched at Koutarou’s back until he pulled away and Koushi was left gasping for air.

Golden eyes stared down at him, smirking. “That good, huh?”

Koushi huffed out a shaky laugh. “Yeah- yeah. Koutarou- it’s good. Really good.”

“The best you’ve ever had?” Koutarou’s hand crept up and pulled the collar of Koushi’s t-shirt down.

Koushi snorted, wheezing for air. “Sure.”

“Tell me.” His large hand settled at Koushi’s collarbone. 

“Tell you what?”

“Tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had-” His hand closed around Koushi’s throat.

“You- what? You are- fuck-”

“I am _what_.” Koutarou prompted as he squeezed the sides of Koushi’s neck. 

“The best I’ve ever had-” Koushi said the words slowly as Koutarou applied light pressure to his neck.

“Does this feel good?” He squeezed harder, pressing into the arteries beneath Koushi’s skin.

Koushi swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. He shook his head. “I’m not into breath play-” 

Koutarou released him. Koushi opened his eyes and stared up at him. The guy was so fucking weird. Koushi couldn’t get a read on him. Koutarou shrugged and pressed a featherlight kiss to his forehead.

“See you soon, angel.”

Koutarou pulled his hoodie back on and disappeared. Koushi heard the lock click into place before he closed the door and couldn’t help but think again _what the fuck_.


	4. Chapter 4

Koushi returned to the bathroom three days later. He knew all along that he was going to go back there, it was where he belonged. He still couldn’t remember what happened to him to put him in the hospital so he let the thoughts slip from his mind. He slid back into his usual routine of nameless and faceless sexual exploits in a bathroom stall, adding in more booze than usual.

A month later and he still wasn’t thinking about anything when a random guy was behind him and the silver-haired man’s back was pressed against his chest. Koushi’s head was lolled back onto his shoulder and he was blitzed out of his mind. A soothing cocktail of weed and ecstacy had him feeling warmth and only warmth. The man shoved Koushi against the wall and Koushi smiled as he panted against the frigid tile.

A couple of groans and moans later, and the guy was zipping himself up. He patted Koushi on the ass and jerked his head to the next guy. 

Koushi held up a hand as he pulled his jeans back up. “Fuckin’ wait a sec- I need a smoke-” The men waiting groaned as Koushi pushed past them and into the alley.

  
  
  


He exhaled a long puff of smoke into the open air and closed his eyes. He shrugged his jacket back on. It kept falling off of his shoulder. It was way too big. The backdoor creaked open but Koushi didn’t bother looking.

“Why are you out here? It’s fuckin’ freezing.” Daichi asked as he rubbed his hands together.

Koushi couldn’t feel the cold, everything was so warm. He winked and Daichi and exhaled another drag. “Just taking a smoke break.”

Daichi studied him for a moment before gripping his jaw. “Are you high again?”

“As the clouds.” Koushi responded gleefully. 

Daichi scoffed and shook his head, releasing the smaller man's face. “I told Bokuto to stop giving you that shit.”

“Oh, he did stop.” Koushi reached into his back pocket and pulled out a joint. He waved it at Daichi who scowled in return. “This is from someone else. It was a gift.”

“A gift that you paid for with your ass, I’m sure.”

Koushi shrugged. “I don’t remember which hole it was, the details escape me.” He put the joint between his lips and patted his pockets for a lighter. He groaned when he realized he didn’t have one. He gazed at Daichi.

“No. Fuck that.” Daichi stuffed his hands into his pockets and went back into the building. 

Ever since Koushi returned from the hospital, Daichi had been around less. He was there, of course he was always there, but he seemed to watch from afar. He hadn’t touched Koushi since the day before he was admitted. Koushi didn’t care either way but he needed to know if Daichi planned on pulling all of his support. He’d need to find a new place to live and maybe an actual job. That would fucking suck.

Koushi wandered back inside letting his fingertips graze the wall as he stumbled past the bathroom and into the main area of the club. He took a seat at the end of the bar and waved down Shimizu. She took one glance at him and shook her head.

Koushi glared and smacked his hand against the countertop. A bald-headed new guy sprung up in front of him so suddenly that he nearly tipped backward in his chair.

“Yes?”

“Who the fuck- where the fuck- and why the fuck-”

“I’m Ryu. What do you want?”

“I’m Ko--ahh, can I get a whiskey? Neat.”

“Sure thing, Kouah.”

Shimizu was too busy warding off the drunken masses to realize Koushi was being served. The gray-haired man downed the drink and asked for another before she had a chance to see. Koushi spun around in the chair, glass in hand, and scanned the club.

Tetsurou was there with his husband. That was interesting. Kei Kuroo rarely left their apartment. Koushi always thought he was sickly or something but the guy looked fine, a little pale but that seemed to be a natural color rather than an ailment. Tetsurou caught Koushi’s eye and winked as he slung an arm around Kei’s shoulder. Koushi snorted and fondly remembered how Tetsurou was balls deep inside of him 2 days prior. Koushi tilted his head slightly as he watched them. Kei didn’t wear a ring. He didn’t really acknowledge Tetsu at all. Koushi had to wonder if Kei knew about his husbands wandering ways. 

Koushi spotted Issei hovering near the end of the bar. Koushi hadn’t seen Hiro in so long that he found himself missing the gentler touch when he studied the bruises that seemed to be permanently embedded in his hips. 

Daichi and Koutarou sat next to each other, looking significantly chummier than usual. Someone was sitting across from them that Koushi didn’t recognize at first. The tall man turned to the side and Koushi realized it was Keiji. He narrowed his eyes at the same moment Keiji happened to turn around. Keiji found Koushi immediately and the sympathetic look in the dark-haired man’s eyes made Koushi nauseous. He downed his second drink and slid off of his stool. 

He swayed for a moment before straightening himself. He reached for the first person near him. “Dance with me-”

“No, thank-”

Koushi stared up at familiar olive eyes and promptly turned away. He really was going to be sick. He pushed his way back into the alley and emptied the whiskey and french fries he had eaten earlier. At least he remembered to eat that day. Koushi groaned as he collapsed on the alley coach, no longer having any qualms about the state of it. He closed his eyes and decided he was done with the night.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi woke up on the couch thankfully still wearing his clothes. He blinked against the afternoon sun and sat up with a moan. He pulled a cigarette out of his back and started the short walk home. Daichi got to his apartment at the same time he did. He eyed Koushi for a moment before shaking his head and walking past him. He unlocked the door and stepped inside.

“How can I help ya this fine morning?” Koushi asked as he put out his cigarette.

Daichi kicked off his shoes and unbuckled his belt. He pulled his shirt off next. “Let’s fuck. Take your clothes off.”

Koushi reached for a bottle of wine someone left in his fridge and took a drink from it. He set it on the counter and pushed his pants off.

“Everything.”

Koushi maneuvered the wine bottle from hand to hand as he fumbled to take his shirt off. He stood in the middle of his living room, stark naked, and started gulping the wine down. At least when he was drunk he felt _something_. Daichi didn’t bother taking his own pants off as he bent Koushi over the coffee table. Koushi’s knees dragged against the carpet. He pressed his chest against the cheap laminated wood and stretched his arms out. Daichi pressed into him and came within a few minutes. Koushi laid his head on his forearms and vaguely listened as Daichi stuffed himself back into his pants. He felt softness on his shoulders and wrapped the offered blanket around him. 

“No friend today?”

Daichi shook his head. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Sure thing. I’ll be here.”

Daichi shoved his feet back into his shoes and scrolled through his phone. “Come to the club tonight. Mattsun was asking for you.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Issei greeted Koushi with a smile. “Angel.”

Koushi huffed and shuddered at the nickname. “Can we change that name to something else?”

Issei patted his lap. “Sure thing, whatever you want.”

Koushi sat on his and swung an arm around his neck. “Where’s Hiro?”

Issei rolled his eyes. “Can’t I get any love?”

Koushi giggled and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. “We have this conversation every time.”

“Because you asked for Hiro every fuckin’ time.” Issei muttered in response.

Sitting across from them, Tetsurou snickered. “He’s never asked for my man.”

Koushi leaned close to his ear. “Do you guys have anything to help me out tonight?”

Tetsurou smirked from across the table and reached into his pocket. He pulled a small round pill out and placed it on his own tongue. He hummed at Koushi and tilted his head downward. Koushi took the hint and kissed him, sliding his tongue inside and swiping the pill. 

“Thanks, Tetsu.” 

“Let’s go see Hiro.” Issei helped Koushi up and they went to find Hiro.

  
  
  


Hiro didn’t want to watch the two of them fuck that night, he just wanted the two of them to give Koushi an erotic massage which was apparently on the list of fantasies. Koushi came twice and it was glorious. His head started getting fuzzy after the second time and smiled, in a daze, in Hiro’s arms. 

Hiro peered up at Issei. “Is he using?” Issei nodded, not meeting Takahiro’s gaze. “What is he on?”

Issei shrugged. “Weed, whatever he drank, ex. That’s all I know about. I don’t think he’s moved on to the hard stuff.”

Hiro frowned but accepted his answer. He pressed a light kiss to Koushi’s temple. “I’ll see you again soon.”

“Byyyyeee Hi-roooo~!” Koushi crooned. 

Issei pulled him to a sitting position and handed him his shirt. Moments after he pulled it on, the door to the room burst open. Issei glanced up to see Daichi and Koutarou.

Koutarou grinned at Koushi. “Angel!” He swooped in and ran his fingers through Koushi’s hair.

Daichi whispered a few words to Issei and the latter man left the room. Daichi closed it behind him. Koushi swayed from his position on the bed, rubbing one of his eyes.

“The fuck did you take this time?” Daichi murmured as he gazed into Koushi’s glassy eyes.

“Dunno~” Koushi responded. “Somethin’ white and small and round and in Tetsu’s mouth.”

Koutarou hooted out a loud laugh and nudged Koushi back down on the bed. He climbed on top of him and studied his face.

“I don’t really wanna fuck if you’re out of it but my friend said he’d join us. How about it?”

Koushi nodded and slid his legs up, caging Koutarou between his thighs. “Sure, anybody I know?”

There was a knock at the door and Koushi glanced over to welcome the fourth party. Daichi pulled the door open and revealed gunmetal blue eyes. Koushi blinked and propped himself up on his elbows. 

“The _fuck_.” Koush muttered. 

Daichi glanced between them “I thought you two were friends?”

“I didn’t think we were _un_ friendly.” Keiji responded as he walked toward the two on the bed. He gripped the back of Koutarou’s collar and pulled him off of Koushi.

Koushi scowled and curled his finger at Daichi, beckoning him over. 

“Whatever you guys want-” Koushi pulled Daichi on top of him and rolled around until he was straddling him. His vision erupted into fuzzy black dots all of a sudden as his head started to spin. “Oh wait- no, no- I can’t-” Koushi pressed his fingers into his temple.

Daichi pushed Koushi backward until his back hit the bed. “Are you good?”

“Oh, Sawamura, don’t start caring about me now.” Koushi groaned as he squeezed his eyes shut. 

He could practically hear Daichi’s eye roll. “I’m also not fucking you if you’re out of it-”

“Since when has that been an issue?” Koushi muttered. 

He opened his eyes, already regretting his words. Daichi didn’t look angry though, he looked inquisitive. He glanced at Koutarou who was busy mouthing at Keiji’s neck, but Keiji was watching Koushi. They caught each other’s eyes and Daichi pulled away.

“Can I have Koushi to myself?” Keiji asked quietly, carding his fingers through Koutarou’s hair.

Koushi scoffed and started to say no but Koutarou’s phone rang so they agreed. 

“Keiji- what the fuck do you even want? I don’t-” Koushi sighed and rolled onto his stomach. “Just get it over with.”

Keiji rolled his eyes and sat next to Koushi. He reached over and flicked his forehead. Koushi screeched and Keiji laughed. “How are you?”

“How am I? How am I- do you want me to recount the last few weeks of my life or-”

“Why are you so hostile? I thought we were-”

“You thought we were what? _Friends_?” Koushi spat the word out and grew more confused as the flash of hurt that crossed Keiji’s face.

Keiji nodded and tugged on his fingers. “Well...yeah. I did.”

“You left me.” Koushi was ashamed at the way his voice cracked.

“I didn’t-”

“YOU LEFT ME!” Koushi yelled, his voice breaking all over again. “You left me- you got out and you didn’t come back for me. Why didn’t you- why are you even here again?!”

Keiji stared at Koushi, his eyebrows pinched together. “Koushi...is that what you think? The words were whispered, painful leaving his lips. “Is that what you think happened?” Koushi nodded into his forearms.

Keiji sighed and laid down next to him. “I didn’t leave you. I didn’t leave at all. I had no plans to leave that club, especially after Yamiji told me you were going to be taking my place. They always need to have someone in there, you know? Always. Yamiji sold me- for...I don’t even remember. It wasn’t much, a few thousand I think. He sold me to the Bokuto family. They wanted a gift for their son.”

Koushi stared at Keiji as he spoke.

“We didn’t get along that great at first- you know how I can be.”

The biggest difference between Koushi and Keiji was that Daichi broke Koushi beforehand. He trained him and broke him before taking him to the club and introducing him to his new home. Keiji never dealt with that. He was much more defiant and actually bit a chunk of some guys dick off when he tried to do what Koutarou did to Koushi at their first introduction. 

“But Koutarou had money, a lot of money. It wasn’t hard to at least appear subservient. If you give Kou what he wants, he doesn’t give you a hard time. He’s kind of- caring. Have you-” Keiji glanced at Koushi long enough to know he had at least some experience with the man. “He’s scary, he can be- terrifying but he’s killed for me and he’s protected me. We recently started- I don’t know, dating? I guess.”

“You don’t mind that he’s going around shoving his dick down my throat?”

Keiji stiffened slightly, nobody else would have noticed the miniscule change in his demeanor but Koushi knew Keiji. He knew everything about him, he may not know _this_ Keiji, but he knew every other part of him. 

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t realize it was you until later. That also happened before we- we kind of started whatever we started. He said he visited you one other time-”

“He came over and wanted me to teach him how to kiss better.” 

Keiji snorted. “Yeah. I know. He’s- Koutarou is different. He’s just different. He started some medication because I told him I would leave if he didn’t.”

Koush rolled his eyes. “I don’t- Keiji. I don’t understand- fuck.” Koushi gripped his head again.

Keiji reached over to massage his temple and Koushi flinched at the mere idea of his touch. Keiji’s hand fell between them. 

“Why are you still here?” The dark-haired man questioned quietly.

“Because Daichi hasn’t killed me yet? I don’t fucking know. I don’t want to sit here and talk about this- Fine, fine, you got out. You made a life for yourself. You have a what- bipolar sociopath for a boyfriend. Congratulations. I am happy for you. All sarcasm aside- I am happy for you. But I just- I can’t do this- with you. Here. Now. I can’t.”

Keiji nodded slowly. “That’s fine. I’m not asking anything of you.”

Koushi grinned at him and threw his forearm over his eyes. “Can you get them back in here? I want to go home and Daichi probably needs to get off first.”

“Does he hurt you?” Keiji asked.

Koushi choked out a sob behind his smile. “Everyone hurts me, Keiji. Everyone. At least now I can’t physically feel it.”

“Does he make you do anything you don’t want to do?”

“Nobody in my life has ever made me do something I don’t want to do. Don’t get it twisted. It’s all consensual. Down to the very last fuckin’ thrust.”

Keiji went to reach for him again but pulled back. He might have known Koushi before but he didn’t know anything about the man that sat in front of him at that moment: pale skin, bruised arms, glassy eyes, swimming in his clothes. Keiji didn’t know him anymore.

  
  
  


Daichi reentered the room and picked up the now mostly unconscious man to carry him out of the room. He passed Tetsurou on the way who appeared to be ready to fight some random blonde who was hitting on his husband. Daichi rolled his eyes and laid Koushi down in the VIP area.

Koushi opened his eyes after his head hit the cushion. He sat up, feeling groggier than he would have liked and reached for a half empty glass of water. He coughed as the water hit his throat because it was _not_ water, it was vodka. He shook his head in disgust and pushed the cup back across the table. He leaned his head on the table and closed his eyes again.

The seat beside him dipped and he rolled his head to the side.

“Hey bathroom boy.”

Koushi’s eyes stayed shut as he tried to smile. “How ya doin’?”

“Wanna go home with me?”

“Yeah Daichi- take me home. Take me home- I’m sleepy.”

The man laughed lowly. “You can call me whatever you want.” He peered around the room to see if Koushi was with somebody. Sensing nobody, he lifted Koushi’s arm over his shoulder and helped him up. 

“Slowwww, Daichi- fuck, I can’t-” Koushi slurred his words and leaned onto the man. “You smell weird-”

“Sorry, it’s a new cologne.” The man responded with a laugh.

“You don’t wear- whatever, just go-” Koushi buried his face in the man’s side and stumbled out of the club with him. “I don’t wanna walk, pick me up, Sawamura-”

“Sure thing, princess.” The man lifted Koushi onto his shoulder. He excused himself past a few people saying _sorry, he had a little too much_.

Koushi coughed and laughed. “I’m gonna throw up. Daichi- Daichi- I’m, fuck-”

They made it to the curb just as Koushi doubled over and vomited. He gagged in the street. He just wanted to sleep. The man next to him held out a half empty bottle of water.

“Here. It’s water.”

“Daichi- can we just sleep here. I don’t wanna go home. You’re just gonna hit me and I’m so fucking tired. Can we sleep? Let’s please- please, let’s-” Koushi’s words slurred and trailed off. He fell against the man.

“Yeah, let’s go sleep-”

The man had parked right in front of the club and he helped Koushi into the backseat. He propped the door open as he stared down at Koushi who was trying to prop himself up on his elbows. The man shoved him back down against the seat and started lifting his shirt as he tried to pull the door shut with his foot.

“Excuse me, where are you going with him?”

The man glanced behind him and smiled. “Sorry, my boyfriend just had a bit too much to drink.”

“Your boyfriend?” 

“Yeah, I came to pick him up.”

“He called you Daichi.”

The man hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, that’s my name.”

“You’re not Daichi.”

“I assure you I am.” He backed out of the car and tried to close the door but the taller man put his hand on the top of the door.

“-Daichi- please. It hurts- you hurt-” Koushi finally made it up to his elbows, eyes still screwed shut, and reached for the man.

“What is he saying-”

“Nothing, hey man, sorry to bother you out here, we are just headed home.” The man pulled Koushi up and smiled politely.

“Ushiwaka!” 

“Huh?”

Another man strolled over and narrowed his eyes at the tall wavy-haired man. 

“Tooru, what are you doing?”

Tooru pointed into the car. “Look!”

Wakatoshi leaned over and spotted Koushi’s familiar silver hair, his head lolling to the side as he muttered under his breath. Wakatoshi bit back a sigh and turned to Tooru.

“We can’t keep doing this. He doesn’t want our help.”

Tooru furrowed his eyebrows together as he stared at Wakatoshi. “Fine- go then. I’m taking him-” He waved Wakatoshi away and tried to get closer to the car.

The man moved to close the door again, shaking his head.”Excuse you- I’m taking my boyfriend home.”

“What’s his name?”

“Excuse me?”

Tooru pointed a shaking finger into the car. “Your boyfriend. What’s his fucking name? You should know that right? You should know his name. You should know what color his eyes are and where his beauty mark is. Right? What is it? What’s his name-”

The man rolled his eyes and yanked his door open. “Just fuckin’ take him man, this is too much trouble.”

Tooru reached into the car and pulled Koushi out. 

Koushi groaned uncomfortably and leaned into Tooru. He sniffled and tried to raise his head. “Hey-” Cloudy brown eyes peered up at Tooru. “Tooru.”

Tooru frowned and held Koushi tighter. “Let me take you home.”

Wakatoshi followed them as they slowly walked away from the club. Koushi swayed, going back and forth between giggling and sobbing. He took a hard right and leaned against the wall of a building. He used it to steady himself as Tooru held up his other side.

Koushi peered at the tall man. “Tooru,” Koushi whispered as Tooru avoided his gaze. “Why are you crying over me?”

Tooru scoffed and wiped his eyes. “I’m not. I have allergies.”

“To what? Air?”

“You’re not that out of it that you can make jokes, huh?” Tooru responded, tone teasing. He propped Koushi up against the wall and let him stand on his own.

Koushi rolled his head back against the freezing cement and raised his hands, reaching for Tooru. “I’m tired of hurting.”

Tooru bit his lip to keep from crying further. He gazed at Wakatoshi who was leaning against the wall not far from them. Their eyes met and Wakatoshi couldn’t help but want to assist his boyfriend. Above everything, his priority was Tooru’s safety. For whatever reason, Tooru insisted he be the knight in shining armor for one Koushi Sugawara. Just looking at Koushi, Wakatoshi understood the interest from a purely physical standpoint. The ashen-haired man was beyond beautiful. His smile, the one that seemed to be extinct, was soft and wide and so sweet. His eyes were bright and endless. He had-

Wakatoshi shook his head softly, ridding the daydream, and moved closer to the two leaning against the wall just ahead of him. He didn’t want Tooru falling apart again over a soul that he felt like he needed to help. They came to the club that initial night just because they were in the area, it wasn’t either of their scenes at all. Wakatoshi knew Daichi, Bokuto, Tetsurou, Matsukawa, and several others that frequented the club but only because Daichi owned it, Bokuto owned several cafes in the area, Tetsurou was a high powered lawyer. Kei was a doctor at the hospital Wakatoshi used to work at, having recently moved to the company that Tooru worked at. Issei and Hiro owned a chain of hotels. Rumors spread and he heard about the _boy in the bathroom_. He never planned on meeting him but the moment Tooru laid eyes on Koushi- it was all he talked about. Wakatoshi was never uncomfortable with the idea of helping him, not at first anyway, not until Tooru’s safety was at risk. 

Koushi was obviously under the delusion that he actually wanted to be doing what he was doing. Wakatoshi didn’t buy that for a second but not only did he not like getting involved in someone else’s qualms, he preferred to avoid helping someone who clearly wanted nothing to do with him. When he found his boyfriend sniffling quietly by himself in the bathroom, he gave up on not getting involved.

“Koushi, can you hear me?” Wakatoshi nudged Tooru aside and held up Koushi by his chin.

“Mhhhm.” Koushi hummed. 

“Do you know who I am?”

“Mmhmm. Ushi...gushi.” Koushi mumbled.

Tooru couldn’t help the quiet laugh that tumbled from his lips. Wakatoshi closed his eyes for a moment, trying to suppress the urge to walk away and take Tooru with him.

“Wakatoshi.” Koushi clarified. He leaned into Wakatoshi's hand and pressed his cheek against the warm palm cupping his face. “Wakatoshi. And Tooru. Of course I know who ya are.”

Tooru chewed his lip as he glanced down the street. Someone was no doubt going to come looking for Koushi. They always did.

“We are going to take you home, okay?” Wakatoshi spoke slowly.

Koushi nodded. “Okay, okay, okay. I like uh- the blue walls. Pretty blue walls.”

Tooru tilted his head slightly. “You have blue walls?”

“No, silly, _you_ have blue walls. I see them in my dreams.” Koushi responded.

Tooru smiled slightly and gripped Wakatoshi's hand, knowing his boyfriend was still not convinced. Wakatoshi relented as he was convinced Koushi was at least aware enough to know where they were taking him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His best option was to disappear. 
> 
> He was going to have to disappear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all might notice me adjusting the chapters, i'm not 100% sure how many this will be. i'm still writing but probably only a couple more.

Koushi woke up staring at pale blue walls. He closed his eyes again, fighting against waking up out of what had started to be his favorite dream.

In another life, Koushi would be waking up to those blue walls everyday. He’d wake up early in the morning, he always _liked_ the idea of being an early riser- maybe he could go for a jog, make a smoothie when he gets back- or he’d come back from his jog and Tooru would greet him with a smile and a plate of food. Or maybe Tooru and Wakatoshi were running and he could make breakfast. They looked like they kept in shape. Koushi liked to cook, he just never had the opportunity to. 

He rolled to his side and realized his head was propped a little higher than normal. His bed also smelled significantly better than his haven’t-been-washed-in-a-month sheets. He opened his eyes again and saw the same blue walls.

Koushi shot up, startled, and pulled the overly comfortable comforter to his chin. He was panting and seconds from a panic attack. They liked to creep up on him.

His hand shook as he pushed the comforter down, swinging his legs over the bed. His _bare_ legs. He was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt that wasn’t his and was about 3 sizes too big. He had on his own boxers, at least. He lifted the collar of shirt over his nose and inhaled appreciatively. It smelled like lavender detergent and orange scented fabric softener. He exhaled slowly as he pushed himself to his feet. He waddled slowly to the door and pressed his ear against it. He could hear the low murmur of a television. He noticed the clothes he last remembered wearing were neatly folded on the dresser. 

Koushi stuffed his feet into a too big pair of slippers that were halfway under the bed and opened the door as quietly as he could. He ventured out into the hall, running his fingertips along the smooth wall. He saw the same photos he had seen before, Tooru’s smiling face, the faces of other smiling people. A woman that looked like a more feminine version of Tooru with a small baby in her arms. Wakatoshi gazing at Tooru fondly. Koushi touched the last photo, a private moment savored in time. He couldn’t help but think of the photos he had on his phone: pictures taken of business cards from clinics in the area, a few selfies from years ago, one photo of Daichi, a few of Hiro and Issei. 

“That’s from last year. Ushiwaka thought he was being slick or something,” Tooru laughed as he explained. “He took the photo with this dumb selfie stick I insisted on buying.”

Koushi turned toward Tooru who was in the entryway to the kitchen, cradling a mug in his hands. He tilted the cup toward the smaller man.

“Tea?”

Koushi nodded and padded into the kitchen after Tooru. He watched Tooru open a drawer that had tea bags organized by flavor. He added one to a chipped mug that he grabbed from the cupboard and poured in the steaming water. The mug was bright green and had a UFO on it. Koushi stared at it for a moment before taking a sip.

“You didn’t bolt.” Tooru said in observation. 

He pulled a pair of bananas from their little banana hanger and pushed one toward Koushi. Koushi accepted it and pulled himself onto the counter. He hunched over as he traced the slow forming bruises on the fruit. 

“No.”

“Ushiwaka thought you would.”

“I don’t blame him for that.”

“He doesn’t really want you here.”

“Don’t blame him for that either.” Koushi replied quietly.

Tooru shrugged and pulled himself onto the opposite counter. “He loves me though, so it’s okay.”

“Is it?” Koushi muttered into his mug. He looked up to see Tooru staring at him curiously. “Is it- okay, I mean? Is it really? I don’t have to-”

“It’s fine.” 

Koushi glanced into the hallway where Wakatoshi had a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. He went back into the bathroom, finished brushing his teeth, and made his way into the kitchen. He huffed out a laugh at the two of them sitting on the counter and pressed a chaste kiss to Tooru’s cheek. Tooru blossomed with the attention, breaking into a wide smile.

Koushi smiled against his cup. He glanced down at his bare thighs and suddenly felt underdressed despite the relaxed atmosphere and the fact that the last time he was there he tried to get Tooru to have sex with him. He felt guilt nagging at him for it.

“Hey uh-” Both men gleaned at Koushi and he wanted to melt into himself. “About last time-”

“Don’t worry about it, It’s fine.” Tooru started.

“No. It’s not fine.” Koushi scratched at an old scar on his thigh. “It’s not. None of it was. I just- more than sorry I wanted to say thank you. For helping me. Then and now. All the times between. Thank you.”

Wakatoshi poured a third cup of tea, turning his back to the other two.

Koushi frowned and picked at the hem of his shirt. “I should go.”

Tooru reached for Koushi but touched the mug instead of the man. “You should stay. If you want to, I mean of course, you don’t have to- but I would like you to stay. Ushiwaka just has a lot of feelings and once you get to know him you’ll notice he wears them on his sleeve. Like right now he’s not thinking of throwing you out, he’s wondering what you’d eat for breakfast because you don’t seem like you eat much.”

Wakatoshi's shoulders shook for a moment as he quietly laughed at his boyfriend’s observation knowing he was, as usual, correct.

Koushi slid off of the counter. “I like anything- you don’t have to cook for me. Can I cook for you?”

Tooru’s eyes lit up and he nearly dropped his mug. “Yes! Ushiwaka- come. We can wait in the living room. We like to watch TV in the morning.”

  
  
  


The three sat silently in the living room after dinner. Tooru went on and on about how good it was, Koushi only made a simple breakfast of tamagoyaki, miso soup, and fish because that was all they really had ingredients for. He made dinner as well which ended up being more fish with rice and steamed vegetables. Wakatoshi even apologized as he pointed out the grocery list tacked to their fridge, he was planning on going later that day and invited Koushi to join him. Everything about them was so domestic and the gray-haired man was having a hard time staying there simply because he didn’t want to ruin what they had going. It hurt to-

“I can hear you overthinking from here.” 

Koushi chewed on his lip and tried not to glance at Tooru. He could feel the honey-brown eyes on him from where he sat curled up against Wakatoshi. Koushi shifted slightly, pulling his legs underneath his body as he sunk against the couch. 

“Care to share with the class?”

“Leave him alone, Tooru. If he doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t have to.” Wakatoshi said quietly.

Tooru puffed out his lower lip and glared at his boyfriend. “Quiet, Ushiwaka!”

“Why do you call him that?”

Wakatoshi glanced at Tooru as the leaner brunette blushed. “Yes. Why do you call me that?”

Tooru buried his nose in the thick collared sweater he was wearing. “Ishcuht.”

Koushi scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.

“He said _it’s cute_.” Wakatoshi translated. 

Koushi started to laugh, the sound increasing in volume as the seconds passed. Tooru squealed in annoyance and kicked out a long leg behind Koushi until the smaller man was trapped between his legs. Koushi continued laughing as Wakatoshi watched the two in amusement. Tooru reached forward and jabbed his fingers into Koushi’s sides until he was writing in giggles. Tooru joined in on the laughter as Koushi covered his flushed face. 

The three of them laughed together until the couple realized Koushi was silently sobbing, wrapping his arms tightly around himself as he fell into the familiar routine of being his own source of comfort.

Tooru hesitantly sat up and leaned forward. He tentatively stretched his arms around and reached for Koushi. The moment Tooru’s hands touched Koushi’s shoulder, the ashen-haired man dove at him and wrapped his arms around Tooru’s torso. Tooru shushed him and cooed as he soothingly ran his fingers through Koushi’s hair. Wakatoshi pulled Tooru against him and the three of them leaned on each other until Koushi’s sobs faded into light sniffling. 

Tooru tightened his grip and leaned back against Wakatoshi. The bigger man pressed a kiss to the back of Tooru’s head and Tooru sighed softly. 

“He’s asleep,”

Wakatoshi hummed in response and gently nudged Tooru forward. “We should get him into bed.”

Tooru frowned and held Koushi tighter. “I dun’ wanna.” 

Wakatoshi frowned at him. “We have discussed-”

“What if he leaves?” 

Tooru always said Wakatoshi wore his feelings in his expressions but he was nothing compared to Tooru. The way his eyebrows pinched together, the way the corners of his lips slightly downturned, the way his eyes got a little brighter: all these things happened when Tooru was talking about Koushi. He was protective.

“What is your plan? To just hold him there?”

“I’ll sleep on top of him if I have to.” Tooru responded stubbornly.

Koushi wiggled slightly, pressing his face against Tooru’s stomach. “‘M not gonna go. I wanna stay. Please let me stay.” His words were muffled and only a couple of decibels above silent.

Tooru leaned his head back to look up at his boyfriend with a pout so deep he looked like he was about to cry. Wakatoshi rubbed his hand over his eyes and nudged Tooru forward again. He removed himself from behind the two, jostling Koushi enough that he peered at Wakatoshi from the safety of Tooru’s arms.

“Let’s go to bed.”

Koushi chewed his bottom lip but nodded, starting to pull away from Tooru. Tooru gripped him tighter and nodded.

“Yes. Let’s.”

Koushi was confused but he went along with Tooru’s movement as he started to get up. It was a bit of a struggle with Koushi still clinging to him like a baby koala but they managed. Tooru lifted Koushi’s much lighter frame off of the bed and carried him toward their rooms. Koushi watched with one eye open as they turned into a room that was not the one he had slept in the previous night. Koushi gripped onto Tooru tighter as he took quiet steps toward the bed he shared with his boyfriend. 

Koushi squeezed his eyes shut and tried to run it through his mind. He had stayed the night, he almost stayed the night before so they had to be expecting something. He wasn’t sure yet about Wakatoshi but maybe Tooru would be more gentle. He hoped, anyway. If Wakatoshi's size said anything for what he was in store for- he was fucked...literally. He tried to control his breathing but for the first time in as many years as he could remember just being a casual fuck toy- he really didn’t want to do it. He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t- but fuck. What if they kicked him out? Would they do that? It was freezing outside and he really didn’t want to call Tetsu again or Daichi and there wasn’t anybody-

“Koushi…” Wakatoshi's softened voice broke through his impending panic attack.

“Breathe, Koushi.” Tooru’s soft-spoken words help ground him.

“You don’t have to sleep in here if you don’t want to. Neither I or Tooru expect anything from you. We are _not_ having sex tonight. We are going to sleep. If you’d like, you’ll sleep between us. I think you’ll feel safer that way.” Wakatoshi explained. 

“I can take you back into your room if you’d like.” Tooru offered.

Koushi realized he was still clinging to Tooru, his legs tight around the taller man’s waist so he wouldn’t be able to let him go. Koushi lifted his head and turned so his cheek was pressed against his shoulder. He looked up at Tooru and didn’t see the disdain, the lust, the lack of care that he usually saw staring back at him.

Koushi shook his head. “Here.”

Wakatoshi set a t-shirt and pajama pants onto the bed. 

“You can shower if you’d like. We both already have.” Wakatoshi pointed toward their in room bathroom. “We have one here or another in the hall if you want more privacy. You can use whatever you need but, between you and me, don’t use Tooru’s Loma products. I did once and he threw an absolute fit.” Wakatoshi whispered the last few words and Tooru squawked beneath Koushi. 

Koushi laughed softly as he wiped his eyes on Tooru’s shirt. He nodded and squeezed Tooru one more time before releasing him. He shut the door behind him after entering the in room bathroom. He ran his fingers along the orange-vanilla scented product that Tooru smelled like. He spotted the muskier scented products in another corner, a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner that was scented with shea butter. There were two toothbrushes nestled closely together on the sink. A used razor. Bright pink headbands that he could see Tooru using to push his bangs back while he washed his face. He liked the idea of doing that together.

  
  
  


After his shower, Koushi pulled on the shirt that smelled like lavender and vanilla and oranges. He pulled the pants on but no matter how he tied them, they just fell down. The shirt landed in the middle of his thighs so he folded the pants and made his way back into the room. He pried the door open slightly and peered out. Tooru was rubbing lotion on his arms and Wakatoshi was laid back, his legs kicked out in front of him, as he read a book. Tooru heard the door creak and glanced up, his lips breaking into a soft smile.

Wakatoshi frowned at the pants bundled in his hand. “They didn’t fit?”

Koushi stiffened slightly and shook his head, looking down at the fabric between his fingers.

“You’re a little smaller than I thought. If you’re comfortable like that, it is perfectly fine. If not, I can go and buy you something to wear. It isn’t a far drive-” Wakatoshi closed his book, preparing to get up at 10 o’clock at night to go buy Koushi some pants.

“No, no, no! Please- it’s okay. Don’t trouble yourself for me. I’m fine like this.” 

Tooru stood and patted the bed next to him. “Come. It’s like a sleepover. I want to watch Doctor Strange!” 

Koushi raised an eyebrow but started toward the bed anyway. Tooru squeezed another dollop of lotion onto his palm and started on his other arm. Koushi reached out slightly but stopped himself halfway. At least while he was there, he wanted to break his habit of just _doing_.

“Can I- can I do that?” Koushi motioned toward the lotion.

Tooru bobbed his head and wiped his hand on Koushi’s. The ashen-haired man spread the lotion over his fingers and started kneading Tooru’s hands. Koushi started humming to himself as he worked the thick cream around Tooru’s knuckles. His skin was already soft. It must be a nightly ritual-

“What was that?” Tooru asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Hm?” Koushi glanced up at Tooru for half a second as he massaged the last of the lotion away.

“You said I have pretty hands.”

Koushi looked up again to study Tooru’s face and noticed he was beet red. Koushi rolled his lips between his teeth to keep from laughing at the brunette’s expense. 

“I didn’t mean to.”

“You were singing too.”

“Was I?”

Tooru hummed in acknowledgement. “You were humming then singing then you said my hands are pretty then you put Ushiwaka to sleep then you were singing again-”

Koushi peered behind Tooru and sure enough, the book was resting against his chest as he slept. He looked different in his sleep, his handsome features were far less sharp. He looked less stern, less ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ type. They were both ridiculously good looking, Koushi couldn’t help but think how it wasn’t fair to the rest of the population for the two of them to be roaming around together. How do two people that look like that gravitate toward each other? Why are they even looking at Koushi? He worried his lip between his teeth, biting into it as he pondered-

“You think too much.” Tooru commented. Koushi tilted his head upward and didn’t realize until then that Tooru’s hand was on his cheek. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to go to sleep?”

“Yes.”

Koushi climbed into the middle of the bed and almost fell asleep instantly at the pure softness of it. He rolled onto his side to face Tooru, careful not to disturb Wakatoshi . Tooru turned his bedside lamp off and rolled onto his side to face Koushi. 

“This is okay, right?” Tooru questioned quietly.

Koushi nuzzled against Tooru and tucked his head under his chin. “It’s okay.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

When morning came, Tooru was introduced to how wild of a sleeper Koushi was. The thinner man was stretched across the bed, pushing Tooru and Wakatoshi to the furthest ends of the king sized bed. He had one arm wrapped around Wakatoshi's waist and his face was pushed into the bigger man’s back. He had his legs somehow tangled with Tooru’s longer lean ones. 

Wakatoshi cleared his throat. Tooru snickered.

“Tooru, please. I have to get up.”

“Just get up, babe.”

“I cannot get up. He’s-he’s...Tooru, he’s clinging to me.”

“Pry him off,” Tooru had to shove his face into his pillow to keep from laughing hysterically at his boyfriend’s predicament. 

“He’s like an octopus. I tried lifting his hand but he’s just gripping tighter.”

“Sounds more like a snake to me.” Tooru pointed out.

Wakatoshi sighed, long suffering at the hands of his boyfriend. Tooru laughed again and leaned over to run his fingers up Koushi’s spine. The younger man jolted and bolted upward, eyes wide open.

“What-what-what-” Koushi mumbled.

He yawned and stretched his arms, his eyes shut sleepily. They remained closed as he lolled to his side, on his way to caging Wakatoshi again. Tooru intercepted him and gathered Koushi in his arms. Wakatoshi rolled off of the bed while he could. He pressed a kiss to Tooru’s lips and patted Koushi’s head. He shook his head good naturedly as he glanced at the two cuddling before he went into the bathroom. 

  
  
  


Koushi woke up a little while later feeling warmer than usual. He pressed his face into the warmth that was encapsulating his body and sighed. _Tooru_. Koushi could smell his apricot body wash and citrusy shampoo. Tooru’s long arm was curled around him, settled between his shoulder blades. Their legs were entwined together. 

“Hm- are you awake?” Tooru’s voice was raspy with sleep.

Koushi peeked up at him and nodded. Tooru’s eyes were still closed and his wavy brown hair was still somehow perfect.

“You’re beautiful.”

Tooru stiffened and his eyes widened. He brought his arm up and threw it over his eyes. “Koushi! Stop! You’re so embarrassing!”

Koushi snickered against Tooru’s chest and pressed his forehead against the warmth. “You are.”

“He’s right, you are.” Wakatoshi added from the doorway. He had a plate of food in each hand and set them near the end of the bed. “Hungry?”

“Star~ving!” Tooru sang in response. He huffed one last time and released Koushi.

He flopped onto his stomach and Koushi followed suit. They laid on the bed, shoulder to shoulder, and ate breakfast. Wakatoshi squatted at the end of the bed and watched them.

“Stop watching us eat, Ushiwaka, it’s weird!” Tooru grumbled over a large bite of egg.

Wakatoshi pressed his lips into a thin line and glanced at Koushi. Koushi happened to be looking back at him and he dropped his chopsticks.

“He contacted you.”

Tooru peered at Koushi in confusion then turned his gaze to Wakatoshi. “Who contacted you?”

“Daichi.” Koushi answered.

Tooru’s eyes narrowed into thin slits. “Why would he be contacting you?”

Koushi leaped off of the bed and into the bathroom where he had left his clothes from the night before. He pulled his clothes on as Tooru knocked on the door asking what was going on. Koushi yanked the door open and pushed past the worried couple.

“Koushi- talk to me, don’t just- please, please don’t leave!” Tooru cried out as he followed Koushi to the front door.

“I can’t- I’m sorry. I can’t drag you two into this. Coming here was so stupid.”

Tooru couldn’t help the tears that were welling up. “It was _stupid_?”

Koushi pulled their front door open and stared into the cold street. He turned back around and gazed fondly at the couple. He pressed his palm to Tooru’s cheek. “I’m sorry. It was a bad decision. I need to finish things with Daichi and with- with my world before I bring my hurricane into yours.”

Koushi stepped close to Tooru. He felt guilt rush into his chest with the thought of what he wanted to do but he couldn’t help himself. If it was going to be the last time then he wanted something else to remember them by. He tilted his head upward and pressed a light kiss against Tooru’s lips. He released the brunette and did the same with the man standing next to him. Wakatoshi's hand slipped into Koushi’s hair as he released the kiss. Wakatoshi pressed something small, cold and metallic into Koushi’s hand.

“Take Tooru’s car. Come back to us.” Wakatoshi rubbed the back of Koushi’s neck gently.

“You can’t- you can’t just let him go!” Tooru interrupted hysterically. “Where’s he going to go? What's he going to do? What- I don’t- we can’t-”

“I’ll do my best to come back. I promise.”

Wakatoshi gripped his boyfriend’s hand to keep him from following Koushi. Of the two, he seemed to understand that whatever Koushi was headed to do, he needed to do it alone. However, Koushi was the only one who knew that he might not be coming back.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi drove back to his apartment. He parked down the street so as not to draw any unnecessary attention to himself. He opened his door slowly, expecting someone to be there, but it was empty. He went into his kitchen and contemplated what he was going to do.

He didn’t feel like he could just _break up_ with Daichi. They didn’t have that kind of relationship- or maybe they did, in Daichi’s eyes, and Koushi just didn’t realize it. He couldn’t help but think of how Daichi had been acting lately. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

_You’re okay, right? Koushi- just come back. I can fix it. You don’t have to. Just come back._

_Please._

Koushi sighed quietly at the messages from Tooru. He sent him a quick _I’ll see you soon_ message and hoped that it was true. 

What could he do? 

He couldn’t _kill_ Daichi. Koushi knew himself and he simply wasn’t capable of that. How would he even go about it- he couldn’t overpower Daichi. He didn’t own a gun, he didn’t even have access to a gun. He’d had a gun pressed against his temple before but he’s never touched one, not with his hands anyway. Maybe he could ask someone- yeah fucking right. Who, in their right mind, would kill Daichi for him? Nofuckingbody. That’s who. 

He thought about asking Hiro for help but when it really came down to it: Hiro protected two people and two people only: himself and Issei. Tetsurou didn’t give a flying fuck what happened to Koushi. Koutarou- maybe. He could maybe offer himself up in exchange but Koushi didn’t know how far the relationship between Keiji and Koutarou went. 

His best option was to disappear. 

He was going to have to disappear. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi moved out of his apartment in a day. He didn’t have much, his life was as empty as his fridge. He had his trusty duffel bag on his shoulder as he stared at the keys in his hand. He didn’t want to keep the car, he could probably just drive it somewhere and ditch it. It would at least get him to another city, he doubted Wakatoshi or Tooru would report it missing. Though he wouldn’t put it past Tooru to report it missing just to find out where Koushi was if he was gone too long. He was going to have to wait to ditch his phone so he could keep in contact with Tooru. That might work. Maybe. 

But fuck- he needed _money_. He needed money badly.

There was one person in his life that might help him. He was going to have to take the risk.

  
  
  


Koushi showed up to the large house with a little bit more snow on its roof than he noticed last time. It was midday. Koushi had learned so many people’s schedules from overhearing random conversations or by the time of day he saw them. He knew Koutarou was doing business every day in the afternoon. He wouldn’t be home.

Koushi didn’t knock, the house didn’t seem like the kind of place you would knock at. 

The house was quiet, indescribably different from the last time he visited. The only noise was his footsteps against the floor. Another sound joined the fray as Koushi ventured further into the house, someone coming down the stairs.

“I thought that was you,” Keiji started as he descended the stairs. “What are you- fuck, Koushi, are you okay? What’s going on?”

“I need money.” Koushi stated simply, gripping the bottom of his cream-colored sweater.

Keiji raised an eyebrow at the greeting and sat down on the stairs. “You need money?”

“Yes. I need money. Can you help me?” Koushi clenched his jaw to keep his voice from cracking. As with all the perceptive people he was surrounded by, Keiji noticed.

“Yes.” Keiji stood and motioned for Koushi to follow him upstairs.

Koushi silently walked after him until they were in what he assumed was their bedroom. The room was neat, not the sex dungeon Koushi assumed Koutarou would keep at home. 

“Where is everyone? The last time I was here-”

“I sent them away.” Keiji answered dismissively. “He doesn’t do that anymore.”

Koushi wanted to scoff but he bit his tongue. He really needed the money.

“Can I ask what this is for?”

“You can _ask_.” Koushi crossed his arms defiantly, having no intention of answering the question.

Keiji blinked at him as he reached into a bag in the bottom of the dresser. “How much?”

“I’ll take anything.”

Keiji handed him several rolls of money. “Are you leaving?”

“Yes.” Koushi stuffed the money into his pockets and turned away.

Keiji didn’t make a move to follow him until he reached the bottom of the stairs. Koushi stopped and sighed, he turned around and found the dark-haired man gazing at him worriedly from the top of the stairs. 

“I am not mad at you. I don’t hold anything against you. I was just jealous. I think you’re stupid for getting involved with him but I know you’re smarter than any of us. Good luck.”

“You too, Koushi. Good luck.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it. What was going to happen- they were all going to forget about him? They were going to move on? Who was next? Who was going to end up stuck in that endless cycle next, wishing for death as the only intangible form of comfort. How could he leave knowing that someone else would suffer his fate? Koushi slumped against the steering wheel around the corner from his apartment. 

It’d be better if he died. If he died and someone found him, they probably wouldn’t treat the next bathroom boy as harshly as they did him. Tetsu, Hiro, and Issei were at least wary of new people and only got involved with Koushi because of Daichi. 

That was the common thread: Daichi. Daichi Sawamura. He had to go. He had to- Koushi let out a staggered breath. He was going to take Daichi with him. Daichi would do that. What was keeping him there? A club that Koutarou clearly wanted to buy? Random girls to fuck- no. No matter what happened, he always came running back to Koushi. He would do that. He would go with him.

Right?

  
  
  


In the afternoon, Daichi would be at home. He always stayed home before going to the club. Always alone. Koushi thought about it all as he pressed the button in the elevator for Daichi’s penthouse. He owned the entire top floor. There were two possible results from his venture into Daichi’s domain. He was going to come out unscathed but attached to Daichi for the rest of his life or he wasn’t going to come out at all. Both possibilities had about the same chance.

Koushi climbed the three steps in search of Daichi’s office where he spent most of his time. He knocked on the door and heard a _come in_ from the inside. Daichi’s eyes were already dark and narrowed when Koushi pushed the door open. 

“What are you doing here?” Daichi turned his eyes back to the paperwork in front of him.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

Daichi peered up at Koushi again, blatantly studying his demeanor. “Okay, what?”

Koushi walked around to the otherside of the desk and approached his large armless leather chair. Daichi leaned back and looked up at him. Koushi swung a leg over and sat in Daichi’s lap. He pressed his face against Daichi’s neck and tried to muster thoughts of the first few months that they were together, back when things were _good_.

“Run away with me.”

Daichi huffed out a noise that could be considered a laugh. “What?”

“Run away with me, Daichi. There’s nothing holding you here. There’s nothing for me here. So, please… Come with me.” Koushi murmured the words against Daichi’s hot skin.

Daichi cleared his throat quietly and pushed away from the desk. He stood, lifting Koushi with him and set him on the desk on top of his scattered papers. “Where are you planning on going?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere. Let’s just get out of here.”

“Why the fuck would I want to go anywhere with you?” Daichi gripped Koushi’s jaw and made him look up at him. “Why- Koushi. What the fuck? What is wrong with you?”

Koushi inhaled deeply and stared back into Daichi’s eyes. “If you’re with me then there’s nobody else you can ruin.”

Daichi tilted his head slightly, surprised by Koushi’s words. “You think I ruined you?”

“I know you ruined me.” Koushi responded quietly. “Now run away with me. I have money-”

“You don’t have any money.”

“Yes, I do. I have money- I-I- did a favor for someone. I have money.”

“You paid for it with your ass, you mean.” Daichi snorted.

“Yes, Daichi. Yes. So will you?”

Daichi gazed at him for a moment longer before lifting him and setting him on the floor. He sunk back into his chair and waved Koushi away. “Not interested. Take your illusions of grandeur about our happily ever after elsewhere, I’m not going anywhere.”

Koushi scoffed. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and yanked out the wads of money. He tossed them onto the desk in front of Daichi. “I have money. Let’s go.”

Daichi’s eyes widened at the millions of yen laid out on the desk in front of him. “Who in the fuck gave you this?”

“Does it matter?”

Daichi took one last glance at Koushi before standing and shoving him backward against the wall. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

Koushi _laughed_ , void of any sense of self preservation. “Daichi- just come with me. Please.”

“You are more used up than the fucking toilet you whore yourself out on and you want me to what- spend my life with you? Are you- God, Koushi, I always thought you were useless but I never really thought you were stupid.” Daichi spat the words as he held Koushi against the wall by his throat. 

Koushi coughed and raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Go with me or kill me. I’ve had enough.”

Daichi’s grip loosened slightly. “You’ve had enough? Of what? Me? Fucking? The club?”

“All of it.”

Daichi released him completely and gripped his shoulders. “You’re sick of me?”

“I regret the day you found me. I wish you would have left me to starve to death on the streets. It would have been bliss compared to these past years with you.” Koushi closed his eyes and tried to disassociate from his own body as he let Daichi process the words he whispered.

“I love you, Koushi.”

Koushi’s eyes snapped open at the confession. His mouth fell open as he stared at Daichi. He pulled his hands up and shoved Daichi back as hard as he could, the bigger man barely stumbling. 

“You- you- you- fuck you! You love me?! You LOVE me?! Fuck you! You don’t- FUCK YOU-” Koushi screeched the words as he pounded his fists against Daichi’s fists, the attacks futile. 

Daichi grabbed his hands and clutched his wrists. “I love you, Suga. I do-”

Koushi let out a broken sob and hung his head. “This isn’t- this can’t be what love is, Daichi. This can’t be all there is- you’re not- you are not capable of it. You’ll never be capable of it.”

Daichi clenched his jaw and yanked Koushi against him. He crashed his lips into Koushi’s and it was all teeth and tears and burning hatred. Koushi ineffectually tried to push him away but Daichi held on. He wiped Koushi’s tears and pulled him out of the office. Koushi tried to dig his feet into the floor but he ended up tripping and being dragged across the hardwood. Daichi stopped at his dresser before making his way to the bed. He revealed black zip ties and as much as Koushi fought, Daichi was relentless. 

“STOP! Fucking- stop- you can’t do this! You can’t just keep me here! I don’t want this- I don’t- I don’t want YOU!”

Daichi plucked a silk tie out of his drawer and tied it around Koushi’s mouth. Daichi straddled him and wiped away resentful hot tears. Daichi kissed him, pressing his lips to Koushi’s forehead, cheek, nose, and his mouth that was pried open by the tie. 

“I love you. You’ll believe me. Just wait.” Daichi whispered the words.

Koushi screamed and struggled and kicked and thrashed but Daichi was stronger.

Daichi was always stronger. 

He figured option two was going to be the outcome, he somehow had the tiniest sliver of hope that he would see Tooru and Wakatoshi again. To go his entire short life without someone caring for him and then to finally find them was hurting his heart. It was such a wrong place, wrong time kind of situation that Koushi felt dizzy. He stopped fighting and leaned back against the mattress, sobbing silently. His arms were stretched above him, the zip ties were connected to the slats in the headboard. Koushi stopped pulling against them and screwed his eyes shut.

He could feel Daichi hovering near him, his presence was suffocating. 

Koushi felt a light touch around the hem of his cream-colored sweater. “I hate this sweater. I know where you got it from. I’ve seen that fucker wearing it.” Daichi pulled the sweater until Koushi whined. “It’s special to you, isn’t it?” Koushi opened his eyes and flicked them up to Daichi as he reached into his pocket for the small switchblade that Koushi knew he kept there. 

Koushi watched in subdued horror as Daichi cut the sweater off of his body. He desperately hoped Daichi would drag the blade across his throat and end it quickly. 

Koushi closed his eyes as the knife touched his skin, pressing into the soft space between the end of his t-shirt and his jeans. It was almost blissful, a different kind of pain than what he was used to. Blood play was something nobody (thankfully) was into.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a time-skip, don't hate me :\
> 
> there's some healing & of course, there's more pain. :))

The pressure disappeared. Koushi felt dizzy, his head was spinning. The constraint around his mouth was removed then his hands were released. 

He opened his eyes and found olive-brown ones staring back at him. “Ushi...waka?” Koushi didn’t mean to use the nickname, he just wasn’t sure how to address the angel welcoming him into the afterlife.

Wakatoshi frowned. “You’re calling me that now, too?”

Koushi laughed breathlessly and closed his eyes again. “You’re an angel, I can call you whatever I want.”

“How come he gets to be the angel?” 

Koush opened his eyes to a dramatic put-out expression pouting at him from beside the bed. He laughed again. “Tooru… You’re both angels. You saved me. I think I would’ve gone straight to hell without you.”

Koushi reached out to touch Wakatoshi and furrowed his eyebrows together when he felt him. “You-”

“We are here. You are alive. You are okay.”

Tooru tilted his head. “Wait- you didn’t call me an angel because you think I’m pretty?”

Wakatoshi frowned at him. “Tooru, he’s in shock.”

Tooru stuck out his lower lip further. “But I-”

“You are pretty. You’re so pretty. You’re both so pretty.”

Wakatoshi pressed his forehead against Koushi in another attempt to help him understand. “Do you feel me?” Koushi hummed in response. Wakatoshi took Tooru’s hand and pressed it against Koushi’s shoulder. “Do you feel him?” He hummed again. 

Koushi blinked back into reality, the hazy black dots fading as he focused on the two men who really were standing in front of him, looking incredibly distressed. “Wait-” He sprung forward, knocking into Wakatoshi's tank of a forehead and nearly knocked himself out.

“Owww- fucking fuck motherfucker fuckity son of a fuck-”

“That is...not nice language.” Wakatoshi pointed out as he rubbed the small red spot in the middle of his forehead.

“What is happening?” Koushi blurted out as he raised his knees to his chest and buried his head in his arms.

Tooru squeezed his forearm. “Daichi called us.”

Koushi’s head shot up. “What? Where-”

“He’s gone. He called us and gave us this address. He said you weren’t harmed but you were… _indisposed_.” Tooru scrunched his nose at the word.

Koushi heard low voices talking and peeked behind the couple. He spotted Hiro, Issei, and Keiji. He frowned and looked to the two brunette’s for answers. 

Tooru’s expression matched his as he glanced over his shoulder. “Ushiwaka was working with Mattsun and Makki. I was home and I didn’t have a way to find you so I called Kaashi.”

“How do you know Keiji?” Koushi asked with a bit more bite than he meant to.

“How do _you_ know Keiji?” Tooru responded with a raised eyebrow. “He’s a friend of mine. I go to his cafe a lot, the owl themed one. He helped me get a job at the magazine I work for. I’m an editor.” Tooru explained. 

Koushi blinked back tears at the thought of starting over and actually being able to start over. “You’re really here.” He glanced between the two men.

Wakatoshi touched Koushi’s forehead again and smoothed his hair back. “We are really here.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Issei and Hiro insisted they be the ones to help Koushi, though it was mostly Hiro. Issei didn’t necessarily want to get involved for the same reasons Wakatoshi didn’t want Tooru getting involved. Hiro sensed that Koushi didn’t completely trust Keiji and he himself wasn’t familiar with Wakatoshi or Tooru despite Keiji and Issei vouching for the couple.

“You can come stay with us.” Hiro offered as he lightly touched Koushi’s cheek. Whether Hiro was in denial or didn’t actually know everything that went on with Koushi, the latter wasn’t sure. He didn’t see anything menacing in Hiro’s eyes like he did anytime he looked at Daichi or Tetsu or Koutarou. Hiro always seemed more gentle, he always was more gentle when it came to the ashen-haired man. 

Koushi sat in Daichi’s living room half watching the other men talk in the corner of the room. The discussion seemed heated as Koushi turned toward Hiro.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can.”

“Why-” Koushi swallowed thickly and cleared his throat of hesitation. “Why were you always so nice to me?”

Hiro’s thin eyebrows dipped as he gazed at Koushi. “I always liked you.”

Koushi nodded slowly. “But why- why- why did you never help me?”

Hiro took one of Koushi’s hands and rubbed it between his own. “I was willfully ignorant. I promise you that I didn’t know the full extent of what you went through, not until the night I saw the bruises on your neck. I was willfully ignorant because- I don’t have a good reason. I really don’t. Issei wanted to protect me, he wanted to protect us, so he didn’t tell me things. I’m- I can never tell you how sorry I am-”

“Don’t- don’t apologize. It’s- just don’t apologize.” Koushi squeezed his hand. Even after everything he was grateful that Hiro never hurt him. Issei never hurt him. They both could have and they didn’t. Koushi knew his standards were low but it was what it was.

Tooru placed a hand on Koushi’s shoulder, startling him slightly as he turned. “Are you ready to go?”

Koushi bit the inside of his lip as he thought about where to go. They realized quickly that Daichi had taken off with the money Koushi had gotten from Keiji. He didn’t have anything left. He didn’t have- No. That wasn’t true. He did-

“I want to go home with you.” Koushi said confidently as he gave Tooru the smallest of smiles.

“You better.” Tooru smiled right back and ran his fingers through Koushi’s hair.

Hiro watched the two of them fondly. He was alleviated that Koushi would be happy with someone that hadn’t already hurt him. Whether Koushi wanted to admit it or not, Hiro hurt him every single time he left the smaller man in that club. Hiro left with his husband alongside a promise of Koushi’s happiness being his last fulfilled fantasy, as perverse as it might seem.

Keiji approached them next. “Koutarou bought this house. You can have it if you want.”

Koushi scoffed and rubbed his eyes. “No. No thank you.”

Keiji shrugged. “I can reimburse you for what was taken.”

“No. It’s- no, it’s fine, Keiji, please. I’ll be fine.” Koushi looked up at Tooru as he spoke. “I’ll be fine.”

Tooru smiled softly and nodded. “I’ll take care of him. We both will.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

The third night spent in Tooru and Wakatoshi's house was the roughest. He wasn’t sure what happened but he ended up waking up in a sweat around 3am. He quietly crawled out of the space he had been occupying between the two men and stumbled into the hallway, clutching his chest. He felt something he hadn’t felt before deep inside of his gut. He slid against the wall in the hallway until he hit the floor. 

He was in the middle of the two men not being touched but he could still feel hands all over his body. He was being suffocated by the memory of touch.

Koushi screwed his eyes shut and clutched his throat. What else could he do to forget? Sure, it had only been a few days but Koushi wanted results _now_. Maybe that was unrealistic. Okay, it was definitely unrealistic. That didn’t change his feelings though. What changed his feelings was hearing the slow creak of the bedroom door open followed by bare feet padding against the hardwood. Wakatoshi didn’t say anything when he sat next to Koushi. He simply existed to comfort Koushi from a distance. He didn’t say anything when the smaller man curled into himself. He didn’t speak when Koushi cried into the sleeves of his long sleeved t-shirt and the ashen-haired man didn’t need him to. 

Wakatoshi waited quietly until Koushi’s sobs faded into light sniffling and he turned his head to glance at the brunette. 

“Did I wake you?”

“Yes. I waited for you to come back. I’m a very light sleeper. Tooru used to snore and I would sleep in the guest room and get back into bed before he woke up.” Wakatoshi grimaced slightly. “Don’t tell him that. He would feel bad and he shouldn’t.”

Koushi smiled slightly. “I won’t.”

Wakatoshi studied him for a moment. “You do not have to sleep in the same bed as us. I understand you might be uncomfortable.”

Koushi looked down at his hands nervously. “What makes you think I’m uncomfortable?”

“You do not touch either of us when we are in bed. The first time, you did and now you don’t. Tooru and I discussed it after you came home with us a few nights ago. We have been trying to give you space but I think you might be under the impression that you have to stay in bed with us. You do not.”

“You don’t-”

“Do not misconstrue what I am staying, Koushi. We both want you here, some might say desperately, but only in a way that keeps you comfortable.” Wakatoshi scooted his hand closer, his palm flat against the floor. 

Koushi met his hand, stretching his thinner fingers across Wakatoshi's tanned ones. Wakatoshi lifted his hand slightly and Koushi curled their fingers together. 

“I think- I think… I think I need to sleep by myself for a little bit. I don’t really know what it’s like to be alone. It hurts but not in the way that everything else hurts.”

Wakatoshi nodded. “I understand. Tooru will understand as well. May I walk you back to bed? You have bags under your eyes from your lack of sleep.”

Koushi huffed out a laugh at Wakatoshi's bluntness, a trait that had become his favorite thing about the bigger man. He always said what he was feeling, there was no need to ask and struggle around a cloud of uncertainty.

“You may.”

Wakatoshi tucked Koushi into bed. He fluffed his pillow, pulled the comforter back, and actually tucked the grown man into bed. He also sat there silently, not judging, as Koushi started crying again. When Koushi finally stopped, he squeezed Wakatoshi's hand and closed his eyes.

The last thing he felt were Wakatoshi's soft warm lips against his forehead and for the first time in so long, he welcomed the touch.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~ **1 year later** ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi sneezed, squeezing his eyes shut as he started a fit of four sneezes in a row. “Ya’know, I watched dis show called Kim Possi-bul when I wash younger and I learn’d you can’t sneeze with y’er eyes open.” Koushi sneezed again, eyes screwed shut, as if to prove his point.

Koushi glared up at the dark-haired man who was stifling a laugh. 

“Fuck off, Issei.” 

Issei held his hand over his heart. “You wound me, Koushi. You really do.” Issei handed him a binder and motioned for him to open it. “These are the latest numbers, if you can just input them using the same spreadsheet that you used yesterday, that would be marvelous.”

Koushi sniffled and nodded as he held a tissue up to his nose. “Who uses words like marbelous in normal conbersation?”

“I do. Let me know when you’re done or if you’re having any trouble. Wakatoshi will be around if you need assistance too.” Issei explained as he glanced at the pager on his belt.

“Aye aye, Cap’n.” Koushi saluted with two fingers as he leaned back in his chair. He sniffled again and rolled his head back. “Where’s Hiro?”

Issei scowled. “Will just my presence ever be enough to satisfy you?”

Koushi pretended to think about it for a moment. “Nuh.”

Issei rolled his eyes and straightened his tie. “I’ll send him over.”

Koushi waved goodbye as he reached for his water bottle. He slurped from the straw as he opened the binder Issei had left him full of inventory lists and endless supply orders attached to phone numbers he nearly memorized. A few months into living with Tooru and Wakatoshi , Koushi started feeling restless. He was so used to being out every day, used to being around people. He desperately craved the contact but he couldn’t bring himself to initiate anything with either Tooru or Wakatoshi - he wasn’t even completely sure what their relationship was. For all he knew, it could have been platonic. Communication was high on his priority list of things to work on after so many years of simply obeying. Keiji was right all that time ago, it really wasn’t hard to act subservient and Koushi was a master at it. 

Tooru and Wakatoshi didn’t give him any reason to be uncomfortable and he wasn’t, but that was beyond the issue. 

He sniffled again and started the spreadsheet, hid away in a back office on the first floor of one of Hiro and Issei’s hotels. He chose the area, they weren’t actually hiding him, Koushi just decided to take a break from people. He went through a little bit of withdrawal after going cold turkey with his drinking and using. Wakatoshi and Tooru helped him through the final stages of the worst era of his life (so far and thus far, he hoped). It was when Koushi was profusely sweating out the last of his fever, crusty-eyed and smelling like vomit that he realized he finally had _someone_. He had two someone’s. He had a few someone’s.

Tooru was wringing out a washcloth he was using to blot a sprinkle of sweat away from Koushi’s forehead. Wakatoshi was heating up a third pot of forgotten coffee so they could stay awake with him. Issei was finding him a spot in their company so he could have the option of working. Hiro liked to come over and sing him to sleep as he was still unable to sleep anywhere but his own room with the blue walls. 

He was doing okay.

Koushi saved the spreadsheet to its own folder and started an email to send it to Issei. There was a soft knock on his open door and he glanced up to see his favorite olive eyes.

Koushi’s expression morphed into a wide smile as he caught Wakatoshi's fond gaze. Tooru and Wakatoshi looked at him differently. Tooru was always watching him from afar with his chin nestled in his palm, the slightest hint of a smile on his face. He was loving and affectionate, always giving chaste welcomed kisses to his cheek and smothering (in the best of ways) hugs. Wakatoshi was another story, though. He watched Koushi when he wasn’t looking, learning everything he possibly could about the smaller man. He knew the way Koushi liked a cushion on their wooden dining room chairs because he liked to curl one of his feet underneath him to sit on. He knew exactly which high degree of spice that Koushi liked as well as his favorite brand of tofu. He knew that Koushi twirled the hair on the back of his head when he was sleepy. His eyes smiled so brightly at Koushi that his mouth didn’t need to move a centimeter in order to convey his emotions. 

Wakatoshi held up a plastic bag. “I brought you lunch.”

Koushi sneezed again then glanced at the clock, not realizing it was nearly 1 o’clock. 

Wakatoshi frowned and held his hand to Koushi’s forehead. Koushi smiled sleepily and closed his eyes, humming at the warm touch. “Are you feeling sick still?”

“I’m okay-”

“Koushi.” Wakatoshi spoke in a low warning but also caring tone Koushi had come to adore.

Koushi ducked his head and reached for the plastic bag he was holding. “I’m okay, i’sh jus’a little cold.”

“I told Tooru not to spend too much time with you when he was running a fever. You tend to pick up illnesses quite quickly.” Wakatoshi pulled a spare chair from the other side of the room and sat on the side of Koushi’s desk.

Koushi shrugged. “Who can resist ‘im?”

Wakatoshi snorted quietly, knowing it was pointless to argue because they both knew Koushi wasn’t wrong. The bigger man quietly pulled out the takeout boxes and opened the bowls of ramen to mix the broth into the meat and noodles. Bringing him lunch was something simple that Wakatoshi could do and loved to do. Koushi scooted closer on his rolling chair until he could lean his head onto Wakatoshi's shoulder.

“I love tonkatsu ramen.”

“I know, love.” Wakatoshi responded automatically.

Koushi stared at him wide eyed but didn’t say anything. Wakatoshi didn’t seem to notice that the word he usually used to address Tooru had found a new recipient. They ate together quietly, the only sounds coming from the mundane hum of the building’s air conditioner and chopsticks tapping against plastic. 

When they finished, Wakatoshi put the chair back against the wall and cleared off Koushi’s desk. He was ready to depart when Koushi reached out to tug on his belt loop.

“Thanks, Toshi. That was deli’shush.” 

Wakatoshi furrowed his eyebrows for a moment as he gazed at the ashen-haired man, the corner of his lips quirking upward. He pressed his palm against Koushi’s cheek and rubbed his cheek gently. “I’m so happy we found you.”

Koushi started blinking rapidly to keep from crying in front of the man as he usually ended up doing. He sniffled loudly and sighed. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”

Wakatoshi smiled, a rare one meant only for the two men he went home to. He eyed Koushi one last time and left. Koushis tears were kept at bay by another sneezing fit. He turned back to his computer, feeling warm all over and went back to his work. Tooru texted him occasionally, updating him on his day. He was working on an interpersonal communication column and having a hard time with the layout. Tooru destressed by sending Koushi memes. They were in a groupchat with Wakatoshi but the latter man rarely participated. Tooru was more technologically savvy than Wakatoshi and Koushi combined, but he texted like a teenager.

Koushi yawned and stretched his arms out, glancing at the clock. It was 4:30 on the dot and he was done with his day. He cleaned up his desk, turned off his computer, and pulled out his phone to text Wakatoshi . The olive-eyed man liked to hang around until Koushi was done working. 

Koushi was walking down the empty hallway when he accidentally bumped into someone exiting the stairwell. A firm grip on his arm had him looking up to find messy dark hair that he hadn’t seen in at least a year. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru waved at the duo set up in the corner of the room. “Hey, guys. Sorry we’re late. This is Koushi.” 
> 
> “Koushi?”
> 
> Koushi’s head snapped toward the third member of the group and his eyes widened. He glanced at the duo again and realized that everyone really did know everyone.
> 
> “Yuu? Asahi?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have something planned that's going to throw a new character into the story. still unsure of the amount of chapters that this will be. thank you all who are sticking with me. 
> 
> if you were just here to watch me torture Suga, i'm sorry lol. we are in the healing phase now. there's absolutely more angst ahead with the new character, that's just next chapter!
> 
> (if someone who's reading this can DM me on here, instagram (@ilaikyuu) or on discord (mitigates) I'd appreciate it. i have a few ideas of where i'm wanting to go with this and want to bounce it off of someone already reading this :) it'd be big spoilers tho)  
> ____________________________

“Koushi.” He greeted in a low tone, keeping his hand firmly around Koushi’s forearm.

“Hi Tetsu.” Koushi adjusted the messenger bag on his shoulder and glanced down the hall. 

“How have you been?”

“Great. You?” Koushi slowly reached toward his pocket for his phone.

“Can’t you give an old friend a hug?” Tetsu frowned as he grabbed Koushi’s other arm and forcibly wrapped them around his own torso. “Much better.” 

Koushi stopped himself from shuddering as Tetsurou’s hot breath seeped into his hair and across his scalp. Tetsurou’s hand slid down his back and untucked his shirt. 

“Tetsu- I’m not-”

“Not what? Daichi’s property anymore? I’m well aware. That just means you’re free, yeah?” Tetsurou reached backward with one hand and opened the door to the stairwell, he pulled Koushi inside with him. 

Koushi released Tetsurou and backed against the wall, crossing his arms in front of his body to shield himself. “What do you want?”

Tetsurou rolled his eyes. “What the fuck do you think I want?” Tetsurou reached down and started to unbuckle his belt. “What else are you good for?”

Koushi thought about his options. Tetsurou would easily overpower him. Their only way out of there was to try and get up the stairs, back into the hall to lock himself in his office, or to run down the hall- there wasn’t anybody else down there this time of day, they all left around 3 or 4. Wakatoshi would come looking for him eventually but since he hadn’t responded to Koushi’s text, he was probably held up with work. Since there was nobody else down there, Tetsurou had to have been headed to find him. He could fight, he could argue, he could try and run but what was the point? He had to make the decision of which was going to hurt more: starting and possibly continuing a relationship with Tetsurou that could and probably would shatter his current relationship with Wakatoshi and Tooru, or risking the pain that was associated with fighting against his former way of life.

Koushi chose the latter.

“No.”

Tetsuou paused his movements and stared at Koushi. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t do that anymore.”

“Oh god, please don’t stand there and act like you’re not trading your ass for a place in Tooru and Wakatoshi’s life. I know Tooru and he isn’t that generous-”

“ _ Don’t _ say their names. They haven’t touched me once.”

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow and pulled his belt off. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Koushi insisted as he tightened his arms around himself. 

“So nobody has fucked you in all that time you’ve been hanging around with those two?” Tetsurou stepped toward Koushi, caging him against the wall and standing between him and his primary exit.

  
  


“N-no. And I’m not interested, Tetsu. Seriously. I need to go-”

Koushi took a step toward the door but Tetsurou stretched his arm out and slammed his palm against the concrete wall behind him. Koushi froze and gripped his bag to keep his hands from shaking. 

“Please let me go.”

“Oh Koushi,” Tetsurou reached forward with his opposite hand and ran a thumb along his jaw. “that’s not the first time you’ll be begging while I’m here. Don’t start so early.”

Koushi screwed his eyes shut and slumped against the wall. “Just- just get it over with.”

“Good boy.” Tetsurou cooed. “You really are an angel, aren’t you?” 

Koushi’s eyes snapped open at the nickname and his eyes were on fire as he gawked at Tetsurou. He shook his head slowly before speaking. “You- you are- I am not the pathetic one here. I- I am not the one that’s not good for anything else- you’re the one who keeps coming crawling back to me. You’re the one who probably can’t get it up enough to stay with his fucking husband that you have to come and try to fuck me. Call me pathetic all you want but all this time and you keep-”

Koushi expected the slap. Well, he expected a closed fist and felt a miniscule amount of appreciation that it was an open hand. What he didn’t expect was for the door to the stairwell to swing open. He didn’t expect to meet those eyes he had become so familiar with and see them fill with unrelenting rage as they focused on Tetsurou.

“Oh hey, we were just-”

Tetsurou’s words were cut off when Wakatoshi’s fist cracked against his nose. The tall man crumpled to the floor, groaning and clutching his face. Wakatoshi reached for Koushi and the grip on his forearm was stronger yet somehow softer than the way Tetsurou touched him. Koushi stepped over Tetsurou and silently followed Wakatoshi out of the stairwell and to the lobby. Wakatoshi didn’t say a word as they walked back to his SUV. He pulled open the door and helped Koushi inside. Koushi tried to catch his eye but Wakatoshi was clearly avoiding it. Koushi pinched the skin between his thumb and forefinger as they drove the half hour it took to get home. 

Wakatoshi pulled into their driveway and turned the car off. He waited there for a moment before getting out of the car. 

  
  
  
  


Tooru was singing badly and loudly when they entered the house, his high-pitched voice reverberating throughout the house. Koushi found it hard to smile though he wanted to so badly. Tooru sauntered over to him but his singing faded when he saw the distress the newest member of the household was trying to mask.

“What happened?”

Tooru reached to hug Koushi but stopped when the younger man flinched. Tooru’s eyebrows pulled together and he turned to Wakatoshi, a clear question in his eyes. Wakatoshi removed his coat and folded it over the back of the couch. He turned to Koushi and started to speak but Koushi interrupted him first.

“I-I-I didn’t- I didn’t do- I didn’t do anything! I didn’t- I wasn’t going to- or, I was- I think, I didn’t want him to hurt me but I didn’t want to hurt you either-” 

“Koush, please-” Ushjima started.

“No! Wait- let me explain, it wasn’t-”

Tooru stepped close to the frantic man and took a chance. He wrapped his arms around Koushi and after a millisecond of shock, Koushi stopped shaking. Tooru hooked his chin on top of Koushi’s neck and pressed the shorter man’s face into his neck. Koushi leaned against him and breathed in his scent.

“I did not hit that man because I thought you were-” Wakatoshi paused, trying to find the words. The three of them all seemed equally unsure about their relationship. He continued the next few words in a whisper. “-cheating on us- I know the person you’ve become, the person that we both think you always were, and he was forcing you, right?”

Koushi nodded against Tooru’s neck. Tooru was fuming, closing his eyes to keep his anger under control. 

“Who was it?”

Koushi shook his head. “I can’t-”

“Look, I adore you but I will scan through every second of security footage to find out what happened if I have to.”

“Tooru-”

“I know who it was. I have met him several times before. If you do not want to go after him, fine. I will, however, have him banned from the building as well as all of the other buildings that I have a stake in.”

Tooru raised both eyebrows at Wakatoshi and started to smile. Wakatoshi held a hand up and Koushi found himself giggling as he knew exactly what Tooru’s next words would be. Something along the lines of how hot Wakatoshi was when he was using his authority. 

“It was Tetsu.”

Tooru’s eyes flashed. “Kuroo? Kei’s husband?”

Koushi scoffed and sighed. “Everyone knows everyone, I see.”

Tooru nodded. “I know Kei- I work with Kei. He’s  _ married _ . He’s- wait, you used to- you-” Tooru pulled Koushi against him again and shook the conversation out of his thoughts. “Doesn’t matter. Tetsu has always been a dirtbag. This isn’t news. Are you okay?” 

Koushi mumbled against Tooru’s chest and looped his arms around his narrow waist. “I’m- I’m okay, I think. I’m okay. I want to move my office.”

“It’s already been moved. I texted Takahiro.”

“Oho, Ushiwaka  _ texted _ someone. I’m getting extra hot and bothered.” Tooru continued his inappropriate jabs as Wakatoshi scowled at him.

“This is not the time.”

“He’s still using his gruff voice, Koushi, what am I supposed to do here?”

The way Tooru was able to help him transition from disdain to giggling like a teenager was further evidence of how hard Koushi was falling for the man. The way Wakatoshi was a force of nature when it came to protecting him further proved the tight feeling he got in his chest when he thought of them. 

Koushi burst into laughter, barely muffled by the tight hug he was still wrapped in. Tetsu and his ho-life ways were gone from his thoughts, a warm glow that he wasn’t used to crashing into the nasty images.

“I love you guys.” Koushi murmured as he pressed a soft kiss to the crevice of Tooru’s neck.

Wakatoshi dropped the glass baking pan he was holding, shattering it into tiny translucent pieces. Tooru immediately started sobbing, the wobble of his lower lip being the only tell that it was about to start. Koushi plucked his phone out of his pocket and ordered takeout.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Takahiro met Koushi in the lobby of the hotel the next morning carrying two cups of coffee. He offered one to Koushi and inclined his head slightly to point the direction they were headed. The walk to Hiro’s office was quiet, filled only with the sounds of their footsteps and Koushi’s tapping on the paper coffee cup. He wouldn’t fire him...would he? 

Hiro sat on the large chair behind his desk and set his cup down. He typed a few words into his computer and turned toward Koushi who was chewing on the inside of his cheek. Hiro frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you-”

“I’m not going to fire you. I hope that’s not what you're thinking.” The look of absolute relief that must have crossed Koushi’s face told Hiro all he needed to know about where his thoughts were. “You’re a lifeline for me, I’m holding on to you as long as I can.”

Koushi relaxed and took a long sip of his coffee. “Okay- okay. Good. Okay.”

“He’s been banned from all of my hotels. I was going to do it anyway but that boyfriend of yours crawled up my security team's ass and made it happen before I even realized what was going on. He had Mattsun by the collar of his shirt when I came in this morning.” Hiro smiled fondly at the memory of his husband being manhandled. 

Koushi tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear and ducked his head in embarrassment. 

Hiro waved his hand. “Oh don’t you dare feel embarrassed or shy about it. It’s about time you had somebody in your corner to the fullest extent of their capabilities. If anybody deserves it, it’s you. Kei is also leaving him so I thought that might make you a little happy.”

Koushi smirked down at his cup. It did make him a little happy. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can.”

“Have you- I know you weren’t close but- Issei was- have you- I mean, I don’t- I don’t  _ care _ , I really truly don’t but...have you seen him?”

Hiro nodded as he stared pensively at his coffee. “It’s hard to let go of something that was such a prevalent part of your life. Not a single soul would fault you for curiosity.” Koush winced but nodded. “But no, I haven’t seen him. And I told Issei he could either stay in my life or go frolick with Daichi but I wasn’t putting up with both any longer. Last I heard, he was still hanging around his club. We don’t go anymore. Issei and Daichi were friends out of habit. Everyone knows it’s he and Tetsurou that go the deepest, I’m pretty sure they’re together now. They tried to rope Kotarou into their bullshit but Keiji wasn’t having that.”

“How is Keiji?”

Hiro smiled and pulled a picture up on his phone. He pushed it toward Koushi.

Koushi’s eyebrows furrowed together as he stared at it. “What am I looking at?” 

In the photo, Keiji was holding three very small puppies while Koutarou grinned at him. They were both wearing aprons that had had a simple logo of the outline of a cat and letters Koushi couldn’t quite make out.

“K&K’s Res-cute’s.” Hiro giggled and wiggled his eyebrows. “Res... _ cute’s _ . Get it?”

Koushi snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yes, I get it. They...they opened a cat rescue?”

Hiro nodded. “They sure did. It was Koutarou’s idea. He found an emaciated kitten sleeping in the alley behind their cafe and they turned it into a business. It’s connected to their cafe.”

“Owls and cats,” Koushi stared down at Keiji’s shining eyes and felt a pang of regret that he wasn’t doing something he loved. He was just doing  _ something _ . “It’s cute.”

Hiro took his phone back and studied Koushi for a moment. The man always could read him like a damn book. “What’s up?”

“I deeply appreciate this job, I hope you know that-”

“You just don’t want to sit behind a desk typing numbers into a spreadsheet all day.” Koushi nodded, frowning slightly. “No mind, hon. It isn’t something everyone enjoys. It took Mattsun ages to understand why I’m so interested in it. He wanted to work with dead bodies or something.”

“I don’t really have any skills.”

“Sure you do!”

“Sex isn’t a marketable skill, Hiro.”

Hiro laughed and pulled a laptop out of his bag. “Well, what did you want to be when you grow up?”

Koushi tilted his head slightly in thought. “I just wanted to be happy.”

Hiro wanted to squeeze him but he refrained. “Let’s see… you’re good at- let’s do some rephrasing. You’re good at holding your breath-” Koushi covered a loud snort. “Do you like to swim?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“You’re good at makeup!”

Koushi made a face that had Hiro thinking of his other life skills.

“You don’t cook or...eat, really. You could be a  _ model _ !” Hiro squealed.

Koushi narrowed his eyes, the first thought coming to mind of all the bruises he’d have to hide, the marks from- no. No. He didn’t have any bruises. He didn’t have any marks. He had scars but hey it was a more enlightened century, wasn’t it? But a model? Eh.

Hiro was already dialing a number on his phone. “Oikawa! What are you doing? You aren’t busy, are you? You’re never busy.” Hiro twirled a pen between his fingers as he smiled at the phone. Koushi raised an eyebrow wondering where Tooru fit into the conversation.

Hiro continued, “You were sending me pictures of that page you were editing that you said the model didn’t fit- the one- yes, that one. I have a model in mind, can I swing him by? Yes.- Yes, it’s a guy, but he’s prettier than you are.” Hiro winked at Koushi as his face burned.

“Blahblah, we are headed over now. You’ll love him.  _ Promise _ .”

Koushi could hear Tooru still yelling after Hiro ended the call. Koushi groaned and sunk into his chair. “But modeling? I can’t- I’m not- I’ve never-”

“Excuses, excuses! You are by far the prettiest person I have ever laid eyes on.”

Koushi was still incredibly apprehensive. He was hyping himself a moment ago but imagine if someone asked why there were burn scars on his thigh that looked suspiciously like a cigarette or the indentations on his hips that  _ might _ be teeth marks-

“Just try it. Once. If you hate it, we will find something else. If you feel uncomfortable for even half a second I’ll throw you over my shoulder and carry you out of there.” 

Koushi sighed softly but nodded, agreeing. “Okay, just once.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Tooru was harshly hunched over a short coffee table, his long legs stretched underneath it, when there was a light knock at his door. He didn’t hear the first one. Or the second. He barely registered the third. He glanced up blearily and pushed his reading glasses up into his bangs. 

“Koushi?”

Koushi hadn’t visited Tooru at work before. He looked disheveled and it was somehow really endearing. His hair was sticking up in places that neither of them realized existed. He had dark bags under each eye despite the three empty coffee cups littering his floor. He had loose pages with red pen markings on them scattered across the table he was leaning over. He still gave Koushi a bright smile though.

Koushi held up a new paper cup. “Tea?”

Tooru nodded and rubbed his eyes. “Tea sounds- wait, why is Makki here? Where’s the damn model you strawberry dipped pain in my ass? I already call to do the reshoot and they’re already set up. We needed to be there 15 minutes ago.”

Makki grinned and nudged Koushi forward. “Here.”

“Here what?”

“Here’s your model.”

“That’s Koushi.”

“Yes.”

“Your model.”

Koushi shifted uncomfortably as the two bickered.

“He can’t be the model, Makki, you- no! He can’t.” Tooru waved his hand at Hiro and slung an arm around Koushi, pulling him close.

“Don’t pout just because his beauty is about to be widely appreciated by the masses.”

“That’s not why-”

“Oh,  _ please _ .” Hiro snorted. He pulled his sunglasses back on and turned around. “See ya!”

Koushi hid his face against Tooru’s shoulder. “It was just a joke-”

Tooru huffed. “It’s a dumb joke. You are  _ gorgeous _ and you would look amazing against- oh my goodness, you would look so good in this royal blue- oh god, come with me.” Tooru gripped Koushi’s hand and four doors later, they were in a bright room, sunlight streaming in from ceiling to floor windows.

Tooru waved at the duo set up in the corner of the room. “Hey, guys. Sorry we’re late. This is Koushi.” 

“Koushi?”

Koushi’s head snapped toward the third member of the group and his eyes widened. He glanced at the duo again and realized that everyone really did know everyone.

“Yuu? Asahi?”

“You called me Noya all those years ago, you’ll call me Noya now!” Noya gathered Koushi in a bone-crushing hug. “Holy fuckballs, I can’t believe it’s you. Asahi- Asahi, it’s my Night Light!”

Tooru raised an eyebrow, feeling slightly jealous of the familiarity that seemed to be happening between the three. “Night Light?”

Noya nodded emphatically. “Because he shines! Even after all these years, he still shines.” Noya hugged Koushi again.

Koushi was beyond shellshocked. “What- How- Where-”

Asahi gave him a slow smile, gripping Noya’s hip to reel him back in. “I do hair now. I’ve been doing it for a while. I’m a stylist as well. Noya is a photographer. We traveled a lot after we- after left.” Asahi paused to clear his throat at glance at Noya who was setting up his camera. “This is Chikara Ennoshita. He’s a makeup artist that I met when I was going to school. He just goes by Ennoshita, he’s old fashioned that way.”

Ennoshita smirked and extended his hand. He studied Koushi’s face for a moment before speaking. “I really don’t need to do much- you’re, wow, you’re a beautiful man. Where have you modeled before?”

Koushi bit his lip nervously, glancing at Tooru who reached out to settle his hand against his back. “Nowhere. It’s- this is my first time.”

Noya giggled and Asahi gave a long-suffering sigh. “I don’t need to do much either. I’ll give you a little more volume and some oils, just accentuate what’s already there.”

Ennoshita nodded in agreement. “I’d like to add some highlights here-” He lightly grazed Koushi’s cheek and tapped the point of his nose. “-and here.”

Tooru draped his arms around Koushi and settled his chin on his shoulder. “Do you want me to hang out here or would that make you uncomfortable?” 

Koushi blushed and patted Tooru’s forearm. “You can go. I’m okay here.”

Tooru nodded and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. He grinned and went back to his office. Asahi and Noya were staring at him with raised eyebrows.

Koushi straightened his t-shirt and tried to change the subject. “So what am I wearing?”

“You think you’re getting off that easy but you are absolutely not.” Noya snickered behind the camera. 

“Come with me, I’ll help you change.”

Asahi motioned to a corner of the large room where they had several panels set up as a makeshift dressing room. Asahi pulled a few articles of clothing from a rack and hung them over the top of the divider. Koushi emerged wearing a blue blazer over a neatly pressed white button up paired with dark gray pants. Koushi felt like a schoolboy in the outfit and that was apparently the look they were going for. 

“Your face is so youthful, Koushi. It isn’t fair.” Noya pouted behind his camera as he snapped a few test shots and adjusted the artificial lighting beside him. 

Koushi stood where Noya told him to after Ennoshita was done with his face. He leaned against the wall, unsure of what to do. He ended up lost in his thoughts before he was able to stop himself. His mind wandered further than he ever wanted it to and he landed on Daichi. Why did he ask about him? He hadn’t thought about Daichi in- less time than he’d care to admit but long enough that he was proud of it. Hiro was right, Daichi was such a large part of the most tumultuous part of his life that he couldn’t help but think of him every now and then. But asking how he was? That felt almost damaging. Koushi couldn’t help but think what he’d be feeling and how different things would be if Daichi was dead. He didn’t think that would make him more or less happy, either way. 

Oh well.

“Wow.”

Koushi looked up at the doorway and flushed when he saw Tooru shamelessly staring at him.

“What?” Koushi adjusted the breast of his blazer and looked down at his clothes. “Do I look okay?”

Tooru’s face was a living exclamation point as he started sputtering, his being flustered was another lovable quality that Koushi adored. 

Noya started waving his hands behind the camera to get their attention. “You can take your man, we are all done here.”

Koushi frowned. “Oh, okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t really know what to do.”

Ennoshita raised an eyebrow. “Sorry? You’re a natural.”

“You’re an absolute natural. That was- I’m impressed.” Asahi added.

“The camera loves you.” Noya finished with a wink.

“ _ Huh _ ?” Koushi moved around to Noya’s side of the camera to glance at his laptop that was synced to his computer. “What- what are these- how?”

The pictures came out flawless. Unbeknownst to Koushi, he had been moving around the staged area that they had setup and Noya followed him with his lens. Noya had to have been giving him some kind of direction and it was settling in Koushi’s subconscious until he followed it all. He couldn’t help but stare at the photos- he looked  _ good _ . He looked youthful, there was a brightness in his eyes and a glow to his skin that he had never seen before. 

“Okay- so. I’m sorry, Kou, but I’m going to keep these for my personal collection.” Tooru started as he enlarged the photos.

“He means his spank bank.” Noya added.

Asahi groaned and covered his reddening face. Ennoshita laughed quietly and glanced at the photos. He hummed in agreement and discussed the different angles they were able to get with Noya. Koushi heard words being thrown around that he didn’t realize had any relation to photography so he turned to Tooru who was still blushing down at the laptop.

Koushi nudged him and wiggled his eyebrows. “See something you like?”

Tooru scoffed, or laughed, or snorted- some kind of noise came from him but Koushi wasn’t sure what it was. He turned to Koushi and grinned.

“These are incredible, you beautiful man.” Tooru lifted the shorter man’s hand and pressed his lips to it. “Let me go edit them.” Tooru tugged on his hand.

“Are you going back to your office?” Tooru nodded. “I’ll meet you there.I just want to catch up if that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay, I’m right down the hall if you need me.” Tooru squeezed his hand and skipped out of the room with a flashdrive Noya handed him.

“So Kou, tell me about you. How have you been? You’re in a much better spot than when we last met.” Noya gave him a sympathetic smile as he spoke.

Koushi winced slightly and cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah. It’s been- it’s been a long time.”

Asahi tilted his head slightly in concern. “You got out, right?”

“I did.”

Asahi smiled, sharing it with Noya, “That’s good to hear. How long ago?”

“A year.”

Their smiles faded and Noya nearly dropped his camera. “A year? A year ago? You mean you were only there for a year right? No? You- Koushi!”

Koushi shrugged and sat on the floor across from them, pulling off the designer shoes they had him wearing. “I got away a year ago.”

“So all these years-”

“I was with Daichi.” Koushi couldn’t help but notice Asahi’s fist clench at the mention of that man’s name. Noya frowned and stared at the floor between his feet.

“Why?”

Koushi shook his head slightly. “I- I don’t- I don’t like talking about it. Sorry, I just- I got away. Tooru and Wakatoshi basically rescued me. They pulled me out of there kicking and screaming at one point until I finally listened.”

Koushi looked over to see Noya’s shaking frame mostly hidden by Asahi’s. He was elated to see how close they had remained. Noya was kept on a high dose of some drug Koushi never touched simply because Koushi was more willing. Asahi owned a small donut shop across the street. It was a little family owned business that had been in his family for generations before the neighborhood turned to shit. Asahi found Noya a bit similar to the same way Wakatoshi and Tooru found him: dying in an alley. Noya was seconds from overdosing and Asahi took him in. He hid him in his apartment above his shop for weeks before Tetsurou spotted him when he was grabbing breakfast. Tetsurou dragged the young boy back when Asahi wasn’t home. 

Asahi was able to break Noya free by selling his shop and by selling, it means he  _ gifted _ it to Daichi. The last time Koushi saw Asahi, the taller man had said he was glad his parents weren’t still alive to see what he had done but as he looked at Noya, it was all worth it. Koushi was still only 16 at the time, the youngest in the entire group, and things were okay at that point. When Asahi and Noya saved enough money to get away from there a year later, Koushi was deep in the world he would spend the next few years in.

Koushi forced a smile and reached out to hug Noya. The three of them embraced, arms, tears, and snot flying around the room. They hugged each other too long and too tightly but it felt good.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if y'all have any issues with the story (timeline wise or grammar wise or whichever) don't be shy to let me know lol. i don't proofread as thoroughly as i should. if you just don't like the fic, please don't tell me, hah. i have a lot of feelings.
> 
> i hope you guys like this. thank you again for reading. 
> 
> also i apologize for the fat cliffhanger, lol. I didn't have anybody to bounce ideas off of for this so i'm just doing what i originally planned. still aiming for 9-10 chapters, maybe 11. undecided. :''')
> 
> ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi spent the rest of the day looking over Tooru’s shoulder as he edited the pages he was putting together. It was enthralling to watch Tooru move around small pieces of font, printed paragraphs, and photos of his own face. Tooru had the pages done by the time Koushi started to feel sleepy. He started dozing off on the way too comfortable couch when he felt Tooru’s lips against his forehead, his warm hand brushing his ashen-hair back.

Koushi opened his eyes to his favorite smile.

“Let’s go home. I got done a lot quicker than I thought I would, having you here helped a lot.” Tooru said as he pulled his bag onto his shoulder.

Koushi smiled back sleepily and stretched his arms over his head. He always felt for Tooru when he dragged himself home around midnight while Wakatoshi was asleep in Koushi’s lap while he binged watched medical dramas. It was nice to finally see up close what he does all day and exactly why he came home yawning.

“All I did was sleep.” 

Tooru smiled at him fondly. “You don’t need to do anything, you’re here and that helps.”

They held hands on the walk to the car and Koushi would be lying if he didn’t tear up a little when Tooru closed his door for him.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi laid awake in his own bed a few nights later, frustrated at being unable to sleep. He rolled over to face his phone and tapped on it to be greeted with a glare of bright light that told him it was 2 am. He sat up and swung his legs over the bed, rubbing his face. Hiro had recommended melatonin but Koushi was wary of taking anything to alter anything about his body. He chewed on his lip for a moment before getting up and heading to the second bedroom in the house.

He pushed the door open gently and heard the white noise of a sleep machine Tooru couldn’t live without (whether it was to help him sleep or to drown out Wakatoshi’s snoring, Wakatoshi will never be told). Koushi closed the door behind him and padded toward their large bed. Tooru was curled up on the very edge of the bed and Wakatoshi was close behind him, leaving a gap on his side. Koushi slowly lifted the comforter and crawled into the bed trying to disturb them as little as possible. He settled onto the plush pillow that carried that signature mint scent Wakatoshi had, it went so well with the oranges that Tooru smelled like. Koushi closed his eyes.

He still couldn’t sleep. He knew what he was missing, what he was craving. He wanted to be touched. It didn’t have to be anything more than a simple hand holding, but he needed something. As if his thoughts were made verbal, Koushi felt a heavy arm drape across his stomach. He cracked an eye open and met Wakatoshi’s olive ones.

“Come closer?” Wakatoshi whispered as he trailed his hand toward Koushi’s hip to pull him over.

Koushi melted against the bigger man, his warmth enveloping the ash-blonde until Koushi’s face was pressed against his chest. Koushi learned a while ago that Wakatoshi only wore boxers to bed and it was making the cuddling that much better. Wakatoshi wrapped his arms around Koushi, tightening them across his back as if the smaller man was going to disappear at any moment. Koushi couldn’t blame him, sometimes he still wanted to vanish without a trace. 

Again, as if his thoughts were said out loud, Wakatoshi pulled him impossibly closer.

“Toshi- you’re gonna crush me.” Koushi whispered against his bare chest.

Wakatoshi’s chest shook with quiet laughter and he relented just barely on his hold around Koushi. “I am sorry.”

“No, no. Crush me all you want.” Koushi murmured in response. 

Wakatoshi traced his fingers across Koushi’s back and smiled. “You do not flinch anymore.”

Koushi looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“When either of us would touch you before, you would let us but there was always the slightest bit of hesitation. You never seemed fully comfortable with either of us touching you, you would rarely initiate. And now- you are here.” Wakatoshi carded his fingers through Koushi’s soft hair. 

Koushi hummed and closed his eyes, tilting his head toward Wakatoshi. 

Wakatoshi moved his hand to Koushi’s jaw and held him in his palm, stroking the apple of his cheek slowly. “I am going to kiss you.”

Koushi’s wide smile was all the response either of them needed as they pressed their lips together, any previous hesitation thrown out of the window. The kiss was chaste and short, soft and searching. When Wakatoshi pulled back and Koushi opened his eyes, he spotted Tooru peeking over Wakatoshi’s broad shoulder.

Tooru was pouting, the expression on his face evident that he wasn’t getting in on the quality time. Wakatoshi rolled onto his back and stretched his other arm out. Tooru immediately threw his leg across Wakatoshi’s. He flung his arm out until he had a grip of Koushi’s t-shirt. 

“You’re actually just a big baby, aren’t you?”

Tooru huffed and laid his head on Wakatoshi’s shoulder. “I want kisses too.”

Koushi popped his head up and laid across Wakatoshi’s chest, he crooked his finger at Tooru and grinned mischievously. Tooru met him in the middle and kissed him, significantly less controlled than Wakatoshi did. A few seconds in, Wakatoshi’s chest shook as he cleared his throat. Tooru buried his face in Wakatoshi’s bare chest and blushed so hard. Koushi couldn’t help but find it beyond adorable.

“Is he always like this?”

Wakatoshi glanced at Tooru and nodded. “Yes, you should see what he looks like when I’m inside-”

“USHIWAKA!” Tooru screeched, the sound much too loud for the dead of night. 

Koushi laughed and wrapped an arm around Tooru’s neck. “Toshi makes the best pillow.” Koushi nuzzled his head against Ushijima’s body and sighed contentedly. 

Tooru smiled sleepily in agreement. “He really does.”

Wakatoshi closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, gripping both men. “Go back to sleep.”

So they did, together.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi woke up to the smell of pancakes and chocolate the next morning. He padded out to the kitchen and greeted Tooru with a yawn. Tooru turned to say something and the spatula he was holding clattered to the floor as he watched Koushi yawning in the hallway, his hand sliding up his shirt to scratch his stomach. Tooru lips parted as he watched the man that had twirled around in his dreams for weeks was domestically standing in his kitchen.

Koushi tilted his head slightly. “Tooru? What’s wrong, babe?”

Tooru proceeded to stop functioning. He flicked the stove off and nearly knocked the smaller man over with a hug. Tooru pushed his face into Koushi’s neck, still warm with sleep.

“Do you remember when you told me and Ushiwaka that you- that you- that you love us?” Tooru whispered the last few words and Koushi cringed internally at the insecurity in his voice. The insecurity Tooru felt in whatever kind of relationship they had. 

“Yes.”

“Did you mean it? Like- did you mean it in an ‘i love you, bro’ way or like a brotherly kind of love you way or did you- Koushi-”

Koushi pressed his hands against Tooru’s cheeks and peeled him off of his neck. He looked up at the taller man and into the warm hazelnut-brown color of his eyes. “I meant it. I know I don’t always express myself the best- or I don't always express myself. But I meant it. I do love you both. I’ve never felt as safe as I have with you and I-” Koushi paused and pressed Tooru’s cheeks again.

“I love you both.” Koushi reaffirmed. “Oh goodness, are you going to cry-”

“I’M NOT CRYING!” Tooru whined as he huffed and stomped his foot, something Koushi thought only happened in the movies. 

Koushi wiped away a tear and nodded. “I know, I know. I don’t mean to tease you. It’s just so easy.”

Tooru whined again and Koushi swallowed the sound with a kiss. Their kiss deepened quickly, whether it was the easy familiarity between them or the overall atmosphere, neither man knew. Tooru stayed put, letting the shorter man take the lead, but something was welling up inside of Koushi that he wasn’t sure he would feel again. Something warm and primal as he was surrounded by the comfort that Tooru provided him in the house that he shared with Ushijima. Koushi pushed against Tooru, backing him into the counter and let out a low whimper as he snaked a cold hand up the back of Tooru’s shirt.

“Wait- wait-”

Tooru froze and pulled back, scrambling up onto the counter and away from Koushi. “I’m- I’m sorry- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I- I don’t know what I was thinking-”

Koushi shook his head. “No- no, it’s nothing- it’s not that- Tooru, I’m not uncomfortable or anything. I just- I want to wait for-”

“I know, I know, I pushed you, you aren’t ready- you want to wait for-”

“-Wakatoshi.” Koushi finished confidently. 

Tooru’s eyes widened slightly at the same moment the lock at the front door slid out of place. The door clicked open and Koushi and Tooru both turned to face the tall broad man at the same time. Wakatoshi started to greet them but couldn’t help but notice their matching flushed faces and the bulge in their pants. He slowly removed his headphones and set them on the end table near the door. He kicked his running shoes off and walked toward the two men.

“Good morning.” Wakatoshi greeted as he reached into the fridge for a water bottle.

Tooru was biting his lip hard enough that Koushi thought he was going to break skin. Koushi was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he watched a bead of sweat make its way from Wakatoshi’s forehead to his jaw and down his throat.

Koushi cleared his throat. “Are you- are you going to shower?”

Wakatoshi nodded as he took another sip, his eyes not leaving the two men. He stared at them curiously and his eyes dropped to the flush on Tooru’s neck peeking out from his t-shirt. “I planned to.”

Koushi glanced at Tooru then back at Wakatoshi. “I haven’t showered yet.”

Wakatoshi tossed the bottle into the recycling bin and straightened up. “I can use the guest bath if you would prefer the bigger shower-”

“Tooru hasn’t showered either.”

Wakatoshi’s eyebrows pushed together. “We only have two showers. It’s too cold to shower outside. I suppose I can drive back to the gym if we all need to shower at the same time.”

Koushi pinched his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. He had never in his life had to _work_ to get somebody to sleep with him. Not once. He had never had to hint so heavily. 

“Or we would all fit in the master shower.” Wakatoshi commented casually as he plugged his phone into the charger on the counter. He turned and walked toward their bedroom, stopping in the doorway to stare at them questioningly. “Are you two coming?”

Tooru nearly toppled Koushi over in their race out of the kitchen, they both somehow reached the bathroom before Wakatoshi did. Wakatoshi entered the bathroom moments later donning only a pair of dark green compression boxers. 

Koushi was staring into their larger than life walk-in shower that Tooru once claimed as being the reason they bought that house. Koushi felt the heat of Wakatoshi behind him. He rolled his head back until he spotted those olive eyes. 

“May I remove your shirt?” 

Koushi nodded and lifted his arms. Wakatoshi took his time taking his shirt off, his fingertips dragging along Koushi’s ribs, earning a full body shudder from the ashen-haired man. Tooru was chewing on his lip against off to their side and Koushi held out a hand.

“Come here.” The words were barely above a whisper but Tooru heard him, Tooru always heard him. “Let me-” Tooru nodded and Koushi pulled off his shirt as well, tracing his fingers back down Tooru’s defined stomach. 

“You do not have to take everything off. It might be a bit strange to shower with boxers on but I am fine with it. I do have to remove mine though, I sweat profusely.”

Koushi held his hand over his mouth as he giggled at Wakatoshi’s explanation. “It’s okay, I feel safe here.”

“You are safe here.” Tooru confirmed as he pulled on the drawstring to Koushi’s sleep pants. They fell to the floor and Tooru’s eyes raked over his pale mole-ridden body. “You go commando?”

Koushi shrugged. “I usually sleep naked but it’s been a while.” 

Tooru leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to a dark freckle on Koushi’s shoulder. Before, Koushi would be reminded of the times Daichi chastised him about cleaning himself like he could get rid of the congenital marks all over his body. Before, he would remember when Tetsurou ran the blunt side of a knife in his own sadistic game of connect-the-dots. Now, Koushi couldn’t only think of how gentle Tooru’s kiss was and how fucking _good_ Wakatoshi’s large hands felt around his hips. The two men doted on him, as they always did, covering his body with light kisses and patient touches. Koushi leaned back and felt every inch of Wakatoshi’s desire pressing against his back. 

“C’mon, Toshi needs to shower.” Koushi nudged Tooru with his nose against his neck. 

Tooru and Wakatoshi kicked off the last of their clothes and the three stepped into the steam. The shower was big enough to fit all three of them, with room still to sit on the shower seat in the corner. Wakatoshi took his turn under the spray of the waterfall showerhead first (another thing Tooru insisted on which Wakatoshi was happy to provide). Koushi reached for the body wash that he learned the bigger man got his smell from. He rubbed it between his hands to warm it then pressed against Wakatoshi’s back, lopping his arms around to wash his stomach. It wasn’t all he planned on doing but it was where he planned on starting.

Tooru continued kissing Koushi’s back, dotting the spots on his shoulders where the water was spraying with his lips. Koushi had thought about the logistics of this during his mind-altering makeout session with Tooru and he wanted to try something he hadn’t before. He reached his second soapy hand behind him and wrapped it around Tooru’s cock. Koushi could feel that the taller man was already hard and throbbing. He had every intention of relieving both of them. 

Wakatoshi was the first to groan, it was a low rumble that Koushi felt in his bones when his lithe fingers started to stroke him as well. Koushi squeezed his legs together and aimed Tooru downward. 

“I can’t- you’re not even-”

“Between my thighs, I’ve always wanted to try it. Please.” Koushi’s words were barely heard over the spray of the water but Tooru’s groan when his cock slipped between Koushi’s legs was loud in the small bathroom.

Koushi leaned forward slightly, bending over and moved his other arm back around Wakatoshi’s _very_ well defined waist. Koushi had dreamt about touching both of them before, more times than he would care to admit. Thankfully, neither of them asked why he washed his sheets so often and they didn’t question why he insisted on doing everyone’s laundry. The soapy water made for the perfect lubricant as Koushi stroked Wakatoshi with both hands. The bigger man leaned forward, bracing himself against the wall as if Koushi was going to push him over an actual edge. Koushi closed his eyes and rested his forehead between Wakatoshi’s shoulder blades. Tooru gripped his hips and the friction against his own length was maddening. 

It took less time for Wakatoshi to come than Koushi expected, he stroked him through the orgasm and Tooru thrusted for his. Tooru slumped against the smaller man and Koushi could feel his lips stretch into a smile. Koushi wrapped his arms around Wakatoshi’s torso and hummed happily.

“That was-” Wakatoshi started. 

“-great-” Tooru continued. 

“Wow.” Koushi breathed, feeling at ease.

“Wo-what? Did you come too?” Tooru asked, gaping at the shower floor.

Koushi huffed out a laugh. “Apparently so.”

“As much as I enjoy this, I do actually need to shower. Are we going to shower or are we going for another round?” 

Koushi snorted against his back. “I wasn’t prepared for this kind of stamina so you may shower. This is enough for me.”

Tooru pulled Koushi against his chest and they backed out of the shower together. Tooru insisted Koushi sit on the lid of the toilet while he towel dried that ash colored hair that he loved to run his fingers through. Koushi closed his eyes as Tooru applied some kind of cream that would make the bags under his eyes disappear. Koushi insisted he did not have bags under his eyes but Tooru claimed it was all preventative. Wakatoshi watched them interact, the smile never leaving either man's face. He couldn’t help but have a matching expression. It was interesting how life worked itself out. 

He couldn’t have imagined a year and a half ago that this would be the scene in his bathroom. He never would have guessed. Wakatoshi was a simple man who only wanted to get through the day and go home to his husband. When Koushi fell into their lives, he knew right away that things were going to change. Granted, Tooru knew much better than he did but Wakatoshi came to accept it eventually.

Wakatoshi stepped out of the shower as the other two chatted beside him. Koushi wrapped a towel around him and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“If the three of us were to engage, how exactly would that happen? I have viewed threesomes before but I haven’t participated in one.”

Koushi couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his mouth. Tooru stopped functioning again. Wakatoshi simply wanted to know if he was going to be able to fu-

“I’ll let you know when we get there, big boy.” Koushi responded salaciously. 

Wakatoshi narrowed his eyes slightly but accepted the answer. 

“C’mon Koushi, let’s go cuddle.” Tooru gripped Koushi’s hand and pulled him toward the kitchen where their cold pancakes were waiting.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi stretched his arms out and glanced at his phone. It was nearly midnight and they weren’t done with the shoot yet. It’d be at least another hour. Koushi now appreciated any photo he came across as he learned the amount of energy, time, and thought went into photoshoots. He was exhausted two hours ago. They were doing a shoot for a clothing line by an up and coming clothing line from a local designer. The clothing line was called _Ukai_.

An hour later, Noya finally released Koushi from his duties. Wakatoshi had gone back to work at another hospital, leaving behind the bodyguard world, and he was working overnight hours. He was having a hard time adjusting to the sleep schedule at first and Koushi’s insomnia had him staying up to wake Wakatoshi up for work then waiting for him to come home. The worst part about it was that Koushi missed the late night rides home. Tooru was long since asleep. Koushi had to tell him repeatedly that he didn’t want him waiting up. Tooru was surviving off of pure willpower alongside an unhealthy dose of caffeine.

Koushi bid goodbye to the rest of the team, changed, and went downstairs to find Tooru’s sedan. He was steps away from it, yawning and humming to himself, when he saw a tall figure leaning against the trunk of the car.

Koushi froze and dropped his keys, prompting the man to look up at him.

“Suga?”

Koushi bent down slowly to grab his keys, clutching them between his fingers as Tooru had warned him about doing if he was ever out alone at night. Tooru also attached a small canister of mace to his keychain but Koushi had left it in the car that night. _Why why why_ did he do that this one time.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to see you.”

“Why?” Koushi reached for his phone that was tucked into his messenger bag.

“Is that how this is going to be?”

Koushi startled, ashamed by his lack of reaction knowing full well what that man was capable of.

He continued, “You know I could get to you before you ever dialed a number.”

Koushi inhaled slowly and deeply, trying not to let his defensive façade falter. “What do you want, Daichi?”

Daichi huffed out a laugh and kicked off of the car. “I’m not here to hurt you or anything.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Koushi responded icily. “That’s all you ever really did.”

“Oh come on, Suga, you know that’s not true. We had some good times. I let you go, didn’t I?”

“You left me go after you zip tied me to your bed!” Koushi tried to keep his calm, but it was fading quickly. “You- you let me go after you threatened me and cut my clothes off of my body and told me you would find me no matter where I went- that I could never get away from you! How is that letting me go in any way other than physically?”

Daichi stared at Koushi, his mind working around how much the smaller man had changed since he saw him last. If it wasn’t obvious physically, it was obvious by listening to him. Koushi was more beautiful than ever- Daichi was in bed with Tetsurou and scrolling through his phone when he saw that familiar ash-colored hair in the corner of his screen advertising some new face wash Daichi had never heard of. He was glowing and it pissed Daichi off.

Finding him was easy, they had aquatainances in common. When Daichi learned he was hanging around Noya and Asahi, he was a new level of infuriated.

Still, he really didn’t come to hurt him.

“What do you want, Sawamura? I’m not-”

“I just wanted to apologize.”

Koushi thought he was going to choke on his own saliva. “Excuse me?” Daichi started to step forward but Koushi stepped back. “Despite the damage you inflicted I can hear you just fine from over there.”

Daichi rolled his eyes but stepped to the side of Tooru’s car. Koushi stepped closer to it and went around to the other side. Daichi leaned against the passenger side door and folded his arms over the top of the car. 

“So I’m sorry.”

Koushi narrowed his eyes. “Are you in AA or something?”

Daichi reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. “You’ve gotten really feisty, can’t say I like it.”

“Nobody is asking you to.” Koushi retorted. 

Daichi held the pack out, offering him one. Koushi shook his head. 

“I quit.”

Daichi lit the cigarette and closed his eyes, inhaling slowly. He opened them and stared at Koushi. “That easily?”

“I quit everything.”

“I heard one of your little boyfriends broke one of Tetsu’s teeth.”

Koushi smirked, he wasn’t aware of that information. “Good.”

Daichi tilted his head slightly. “Took some pictures and now you’re a ball of confidence or what?”

Koushi scoffed out a laugh and positioned his keys to unlock the car. “What the fuck do you want? Honestly? You think you can just- this isn’t season two some fucking tragic anime, Daichi. Your apology doesn’t mean shit to me- you don’t get a redemption arc. You get forgotten about. That’s it. End of story.”

Daichi tapped his fingers against the roof of the car. “You should come to the club sometime. Bring your boyfriends. There’s a new little plaything there. He’s young too, all fresh and not used up like you.”

Koushi’s hands were shaking in anger. He gave up trying not to react. “YOU-”

“What was his name? To-something? Something fun and young. Tobio, I think it was.” 

Koushi racked his brain for where he recognized the name from. If Daichi was calling him young then that meant he was younger than 18- probably 15, maybe 16 or 17. Tobio. Tobio. Tobio. _Tobio_. Where did he know the name-

Koushi’s eyes widened in horror. “Tobio?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't ever going to be all sunshine and daisies in this universe, but they're trying. thanks for sticking with me, I'm a bit nervous about the direction in which I took this, but I hope yall like it.
> 
> mind the added tags.

Daichi smirked at him as he sucked on his cigarette, blowing the smoke over the car. “Yup. He’s very... _ eager _ . Know him?”

“Daichi-” Koushi’s words faded as he started feeling light-headed. He gripped the top of the car for stability. “Please- you didn’t.”

“I didn’t do anything. Tetsu found him. I guess he had an older sister that was killed in a car accident earlier this year and he was left with some debt. Not much but enough that he didn’t know what to do. He’s just paying off a little bit of it-”

“A little bit of it? A little bit? Like I was- like how I was paying off debt for an apartment that  _ you _ put me in, that you  _ forced  _ me to stay in!” Koushi screeched, his words bouncing off of the walls of the parking garage.

“Oh, god. Don’t kid yourself, Suga. Nobody ever forced you to do anything. You used to say the same words yourself.” Daichi responded slowly.

Koushi was too busy looking at the ground to notice Daichi was moving closer to the end of the car, ready to wrap around it and come toward him. 

“You’re a disgusting- you piece of shit- both of you. I- I have to go. Fuck you and your apology.” Koushi ripped open the car door and slammed the lock shut before Daichi could blink. Koushi slammed on the gas and was out of the parking garage in seconds.

On the drive home, Koushi’s thoughts were flooded with the last time he and Daichi saw each other. The night he accepted that he was going to die. Daichi had him exactly where he wanted him, zip tied to his bed and unable to do anything other than the mental abuse that Daichi was ready to dwell out. Koushi blocked out everything that happened between Daichi immobilizing him and being rescued. He shook his head angrily, trying to rid the thoughts but he was unsuccessful. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_ Koushi blinked tears away as he looked up at Daichi who was staring down at his sweater in disgust. Daichi shook his head as he stared at Koushi. _

_ “You are mine. Don’t you get that?” _

_ Koushi blinked up at him, no words escaping his mouth. _

_ “Answer me.” _

_ Koushi frowned and remained silent.  _

_ “Answer me!” Daichi loomed over him. He gripped Koushi’s collar, grabbing it and stretching it until it ripped. “ANSWER ME, KOUSHI!” Daichi screamed the words as he shook Koushi.  _

_ Daichi tore his belt off and threw it across the room. He unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them off. His blunt nails dug into Koushi’s shoulders as he yanked him onto his stomach, the zipties digging into his pale skin.  _

_ “You- fucking- God. I fucking- why do you make me do this? Why do you make me like this?” Daichi pulled Koushi’s pants down until they were around his knees. He left pale scratches on his hips as he tugged the smaller man upward.  _

_ “Tell me you want this- tell me. Tell me you fucking want this.” Daichi grunted as he adjusted, trying to line them up. _

_ Koushi remained silent beneath him, crying and not making a sound. He felt Daichi pressing against him and knew what was happening was only going to make him angrier. If Koushi could save someone else from suffering, he would endure everything that Daichi could throw at him. If only to save someone else. Daichi was nowhere near hard, his usual reaction to Koushi not being fucked by somebody else beforehand. _

_ Koushi opened his eyes slowly when he realized Daichi was sobbing. It was loud and ugly but it was genuine. Koushi hated the deepest darkest part of his heart that wanted to comfort the man who had so willingly made his life hell. He had every intention of stomping that part of his heart out until it lay withered and cold on the floor. Daichi pressed his forehead against the sliver of skin exposed where he had pushed Koushi’s shirt up. Daichi looped his arms around Koushi’s torso and flipped him back over, sobbing against his stomach.  _

_ He cried until there wasn’t anything else to expel from his eyes, until his throat was raw and his voice was hoarse. He continued whispering “I love you” against Koushi’s skin but the bound man couldn’t hear anything anymore.  _

_ “Goddammit, Suga.” Daichi whispered as he kissed Koushi’s stomach. _

_ Koushi felt nauseous.  _

_ That was when he realized that he was going to be able to move on from Daichi, even if that meant his death. _

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi broke a sound barrier trying to get home as quickly as he could. It was nearing 1am and the streets were empty, thankfully. He flung the front door open and heard a crash as Tooru screeched and leaped off of the couch. His messy brown hair popped up from behind the couch and he wailed.

“Kouuuussshhhiiiii! What the fuck!” Tooru hastily got to his feet. “Why are you bursting in here like I’m an unsub and you’re Dr. Reid!”

Koushi came in panicked and that panic morphed into maniacal laughter. Tooru did that to him. As serious as the situation was, Tooru pulled a Criminal Minds reference out of his ass at 1am. Tooru’s eyes widened as he stared at Koushi, already knowing something was wrong.

“Fuck!” Koushi exclaimed as he bent over, clutching his knees and trying to catch his breath. “I need- I need help. Tooru, please- we have to help.”

“What happened? Is there someone out there? Are you okay?” Tooru pushed past Koushi and peered out of the wide open door. He pushed it shut and locked it, turning back to the smaller man who was hyperventilating next to him.

“I need- dammit- do you remember Miwa?” Tooru nodded, having heard the stories of the woman living in Koush’s building that would check on him from time to time. They had kept in touch after Koushi moved out, though it was mostly a monthly phone call. 

“I- I haven’t talked to her in  _ months _ . I didn’t even realize it until he said her family name. I don’t understand- I don’t understand how he found her little brother.”

“Who? Who are you talking about? Slow down, please.” Tooru gripped Koushi’s shoulders, knowing the firm touch helped ground him. His heart was strained at the look in Koushi’s eyes, at the crack in his voice and the glassy wetness pooling in his eyes.

“Tobio! Tobio! Miwa’s little brother is Tobio- I gave her money- she used it all on him, she always did- and now- he said she’s dead- Toshi can find that out, right? He can find out if she’s really dead? He said she died in a car accident months ago- I haven’t- I forgot about her!”

“Koushi, PLEASE- calm down- what are you talking about? Who told you this?”

“DAICHI!” Koushi cried the words out as his emotions bubbled over.

Tooru immediately moved to grab his phone to call Wakatoshi, pulling Koushi against his chest. “I’ll help you. We will help. This isn’t happening anymore- Wakatoshi?”

Koushi could hear the serious tone that Wakatoshi adopted whenever Tooru actually used his name. It wasn’t the playfulness of  _ Ushiwaka _ or  _ Toshi _ that was whispered between the sheets. It was something else entirely. Koushi tuned out of the conversation and started racking his memory for any bits of Tobio related information that Miwa had given him over the time they’d known each other. He was around 17 now, he was tall, he was bigger than Koush- he remembered she always made fun of him for being smaller than a teenager. He probably looked like her- raven colored hair and piercing blue eyes. He finished school early- he graduated a year ahead of his class. He wasn’t a star student or anything, he was just diligent in his work. He didn’t play any sports, he didn’t have many friends- Koushi choked back a sob at how perfect of a target he must have been. If Miwa  _ did _ pass, Tobio must have been staying at her apartment. They must have found him there.

What if they found Tobio when they went looking for Koushi?

Tooru hung up with Wakatoshi and started furiously typing a text to Takahiro and Isse, they had the connections to shut Daichi and Tetsu down. They had the power and the money- Tooru stopped when he realized Koushi’s breathing was uneven. 

He yanked on Koushi’s hand until he sat on the couch. Tooru kneeled between his legs and held him by the jaw. “Stop. Stop it right now.”

Koushi sucked in breath after breath, unable to focus on Tooru.

Tooru clenched his own jaw and squeezed Koushi enough by the shoulders for him to feel it. “Do you feel that? That’s me. That’s me, Tooru Oikawa. Your boyfriend. The better half of your two boyfriends, but your boyfriend nonetheless. Do you feel me?”

Koushi nodded, in a daze.

“Koushi, I asked you a question.”

“I feel you.” said Koushi in a whisper.

“Get out of your head. This is in no way, shape, or form your fault. It is not possible to be your fault. You were not involved. Listen to me- are you listening?”

“Yes.” Koushi screwed his eyes shut then cracked them open again, focusing on the brownest part of Tooru’s eyes.

“Wakatoshi confirmed what Daichi said. Miwa died four months ago in a car accident. A drunk driver hit her head on and she didn’t make it. Tobio applied for emancipation and got it. The only address in her file was for your former apartment complex so I assume he was staying there. This happened so long after you left- I know exactly what you’re thinking and I need you to stop it right now. You’ve come too far to sink back into that rabbit hole. Do you hear me?”

Koushi swallowed thickly but nodded. “Yes. Yes, I hear you. I hear you.”

“It’s not your fault.” Tooru repeated. “Say it, Koushi.”

“It’s not- it’s-” Koushi sobbed, his eyes dry and sore. “It’s not my fault.”

“We are going to take care of him, once and for all. I promise you that. We are going to take care of both of them by any means necessary.” Tooru’s voice was low and confident. His gaze was set and determined, nothing was going to change his mind.

Koushi breathed in through his nose and brought his hands up to cover Tooru’s against his jaw. “Thank you.” 

“Are you okay?”

“I’m f-I’m- no, I’m not really okay but I will be- we just have to help him. He’s a good kid- he’s just a kid. There’s no way he’s like I was, there’s no way he’s staying there voluntarily. Daichi said Miwa left him with debt, he’s young so he probably didn’t know it was the kind of debt he can make arrangements for.”

“Unfortunately, it is well known that Tetsu is also a bit of a loan shark.” Tooru said as he rubbed the back of his neck and moved to sit beside Koushi. “Wakatoshi doesn’t want us going anywhere, he wants us to stay here for the night. He can’t leave right now.”

Koushi wanted to fight it but he knew Tooru was right. Nothing good would come of him going to find Tobio at 1am, especially if it was only him and Tooru going into Daichi’s territory. Koushi hung his head between his legs and let out a haggard breath. 

“We will help him, we will go to the apartment first thing.” 

“I hope he’s there. The way Daichi talked about him- I don’t know, he made it seem like it was Tetsu that brought him in but Tetsu never did that. He was always too careful. Daichi didn’t even know how often Tetsu and I saw each other, he would have flipped out.”

Tooru grimaced at Koushi’s words. “We will find him.”

“What happens when we do? We what- we hide him? We bring him here? Wait for them to show up on our doorstep again?” Koushi tugged on the collar of his shirt, feeling heat overwhelm his body as the stress made his chest tight.

“We will do whatever we have to do. Ushiwaka and I did it once before and we would do it again and again, especially if it means your happiness. That’s the only thing that’s important to me. Ushiwaka will take a little more convincing because he just wants to keep us safe but,” Tooru sighed and pulled Koushi close. “I will handle that. We will find him. We can leave this place. All of us.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Wakatoshi was able to arrive home from work around 7am the next morning. He found Tooru asleep on the couch, stretched out across the furniture with his head resting in Koushi’s lap. Koushi was awake and staring at a blank TV screen. He had a hand in Tooru’s hair, unmoving. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy, tear tracks marred his porcelain skin. He blinked slowly, seemingly not having noticed Wakatoshi entering the room.

Wakatoshi squatted in front of him, crossing his forearms and resting them on Koush’s knees. Koushi blinked down at him and a slow smile spread across his face.

“You should sleep. You must be exhausted.” Koushi’s words were barely above a whisper as he started rubbing Tooru’s head again. 

Wakatoshi sighed softly. “Have you slept?” 

Koushi’s smile faded and he shook his head, prepared for the reprimany that Wakatoshi could do with a simple stare.

“Let’s get going. You can take a nap in the car.”

A loud snore erupted from Tooru as he stirred. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before his eyes fluttered open. He blinked up and Koushi then turned to see Wakatoshi. He smiled sleepily. “My boys.”

Koushi gazed down at him fondly, rubbing his thumb against Tooru’s scalp. He blinked rapidly to keep his emotions at bay. Tooru rolled his head back to face Koushi and he pressed his palm against the smaller man’s cheek. 

“Let’s go.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

It took another hour to get to Koushi’s old apartment complex. He stared out at the raggedy building from the street, feeling an unpleasant burst of memories struggling their way to the forefront of his thoughts. He remembered all the times he didn’t even make it into his apartment when Daichi would have a friend waiting for him in the lobby, taking him to his knees in the stairwell. Tetsu once fucked him in the hall right outside of his apartment, Koushi bit down on his own shirt to keep from making any noise. 

Koushi closed his eyes and followed the familiar path to the floor Miwa Kageyama used to live on. He sucked in a shaky breath as he walked past his own apartment. He paused, noticing the door jam was still damaged from a time when Tetsu drunkenly kicked it in ‘as a joke’. He ran his fingers across the splintered wood and had a sudden rush of perseverance. He took a step back and hit the door hard with his shoulder, causing Tooru and Wakatoshi to turn back towards him as they were a few steps ahead. 

“Koushi- what the fuck?” Tooru muttered as Koushi pushed into the barren room.

_ Someone _ had been living there. The few things that Koushi left behind looked used. The towel flung over the dark gray bedspread was damp. 

Koushi turned to the fire escape, noticing the window was propped open. He ran to it and nearly shattered the window in his attempt to pull it up. 

There was a fearful gasp, a few curses, and what sounded like bones cracking to Koushi’s side. He turned and caught those brilliant blue eyes. They were wide and  _ terrified _ . Koushi’s hardened expression softened and he climbed through the window despite the protests of Tooru inside the apartment. 

Tobio stared at him in confusion but Koushi could see the recognition in his eyes.

“Koushi?”

Koushi nodded, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his eyes from flooding over. “Tobio.”

“You- you’re here. What are you doing here?” Tobio asked slowly, unsure if it was just another trick his mind wanted him to see.

Koushi took a tentative step forward but stopped when Tobio leaned closer to the railing. Tobio flicked the cigarette he was holding, the small bits of ash disappearing into the wind. 

“Are you okay?”

Tobio squinted against the wind and smashed the dying ember of his cigarette into the metal railing. He flicked the smothered bud into the morning air. “Not really.”

Koushi could see the marks of Tobio’s nights on the small slivers of skin that were exposed despite his long sleeved t-shirt and jeans. The dark bruises that encompassed his wrists, similar to something Koushi used to wake up with. He didn’t even remember someone grabbing them half of the time, they just got there. They were practically a tattoo by the end, never fading and permanently etched into his skin. He had a scar beneath his eye in the same spot Koushi had a beauty mark.

“Tobio, I-” Koushi’s voice cracked and his words failed him.

Tobio held his stance for a few more seconds, leaning over the railing, before he flung his body toward Koushi and slammed into him, the force knocking the both of them back through the tall open window. Tooru shrieked again as they tumbled inside, dust erupting from the floor where their bodies collided.

“HEY! Get off of him- hey! Who are you?” Tooru scrambled to pull Tobio off of Koushi but the boy was clinging to him.

“Tooru, it’s okay. It’s okay- it’s Tobio.” Koushi squeezed the taller boy and held the back of his head. “It’s Tobio. It’s just Tobio.”

Tobio buried his face against Koushi’s sweatshirt, gripping the front of it tightly. “Koushi.” Tobio breathed the words quietly, trying to ensure himself that he was there.

Wakatoshi was the first to reach for them, placing a warm hand on Koushi’s head. “We should go. I do not think we should be here long.”

Koushi nodded as Wakatoshi and Tooru helped lift the pair, Tobio still holding on tightly to Koushi. “Tobio, will you come with us-”

“Yes.” Tobio answered without hesitation.

He looked up at Koushi and he didn’t look like the taller, bigger, teenager that he was- he looked younger than his years. Koushi could see the dark bags under his eyes, the way he had scabs around his lips- Tetsu liked to bite- and he had hair missing from the back of his head- Daichi liked to pull hair when he had someone between his legs. Koushi could see the imprints of Daichi’s and Tetsu’s and whoever else’s hands all over Tobio’s body. Koushi couldn’t bear to look at it, he could practically see their fingernails digging into his skin-

Koushi inhaled slowly, something he could never do before without interruption. He gripped Tobio’s jaw and stared at him intently.

“She said you’d come for me.” Tobio whispered.

“Wh- she? Miwa?”

Tobio nodded. “She said you’d come- she said I just had to wait. She said you’d come. She said you would help me. She said if there’s anybody that I can rely on, it’s Koushi Sugawara but you don’t like being called Sugawara or Suga or- well, any of that. She left me with a little debt, it wasn’t much. It was just from her cremation, she wanted to be cremated, did you know that?”

“I did-” Koushi started to answer before Tobio took off on another tangent. Koushi originally thought that the boy had been quiet but trauma did change people, Koushi knew that all too well.

“I was able to pay for half but I still owed around $1500. An old coworker of mine said to talk to a lawyer- that maybe I could get the fees waived. I was at the courthouse waiting to talk to one of those free lawyers when a fancy one found me. He said he could help me. He would even give me an apartment to stay in-”

Koushi pulled Tobio against him tightly, shushing the boy. “I know. I know. Tobio, you don’t have to explain anything- I know.”

“They- they showed me things. They knew I knew you. They wanted to know where you went but I didn’t know- I told them I didn’t know you that well. They showed- they showed me pictures and videos of you- of you-”

Koushi shushed him again. Daichi did the same thing to him with videos of Noya. “It’s okay, we are going to get you out of here.”

Tobio nodded silently and looked up at Tooru, he tilted his head slightly. “Wow, you’re pretty.”

Tooru’s eyes widened slightly and he immediately started blushing. He struggled to get a word out in the face of compliments. 

Wakatoshi laughed quietly and held his hand out. “I am Wakatoshi Ushijima. This is Tooru Oikawa. I’ve heard a lot about you, Tobio.”

Tobio shook his hand, finding comfort in the friendly touch. “You’re pretty too. In a different way.”

“Thank you, Tobio. I know you might have an aversion to touch but I would like to cover you with something and carry you out of here if that’s okay.” 

Tobio nodded and they left that apartment complex for the last time. Koushi piled into the backseat, still holding onto Tobio’s hand. He glanced out the window and up to the window that beamed way too much sunlight into his old living room window. The lobby that purposefully had zero working security cameras and no kind of guard in sight. The stairwell that echoed sounds of some guy’s thighs against his. All of it- Koushi wanted to burn it to the ground. He wanted to hear the flames crackle and see the wind whip the smoke into the sky.

Koushi sighed and turned to buckle Tobio’s seatbelt that he hadn’t touched. Tobio faced him and opened his mouth to speak then closed it.

“Everything okay?” Koushi questioned as he studied Tobio’s face.

Tobio shook his head and turned his gaze to the front. “I still owe them some money. I’m not sure how much.”

Tooru flipped around in the front sit, his eyes blazing. “You don’t owe them _ shit _ .”

Tobio startled, sinking against the cushion. Tooru turned back around and rested his head in his palm.

“You guys don’t him- you don’t owe any of them a fucking thing. Neither of you.” Tooru muttered the words barely loud enough for them to hear.

Koushi gripped Tobio’s hand again and squeezed it in reassurance. “He’s right. You don’t.”

Tobio frowned and looked down at their hands. “I didn’t want to do any of it.”

Koushi bit his lip and nodded. “I know.”

“It- it,” Tobio paused, shuddering. “It really hurt sometimes. Most times. It hurt everywhere. Some of them kept calling me your name.”

Koushi’s face dropped and he loosened his grip on Tobio’s hand. “I’m so sorry-”

“It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you for anything. I was stupid. Naive.” Tobio frowned.

“You’re not stupid, naive maybe, but I was worse: I went willingly.” Koushi caught Wakatoshi’s eye in the rearview mirror and his mind was instantly wiped of the negative memories. He didn’t have to think about those things anymore. Koushi smiled slightly and Wakatoshi turned back to the road.

  
  
  


They drove without incident back toward their home. 

That was until Tooru’s phone started ringing incessantly despite his drive to ignore it. He poked his head out from where it was buried beneath Wakatoshi’s arm and narrowed his eyes at the vibrating device. 

“Ushiwaka, see who it is.”

Wakatoshi picked up Tooru’s phone and clicked  _ answer  _ without checking to see who it was. “Oikawa’s phone.”

Tooru’s eyebrows shot up as he waggled them suggestively. “ _ Oikawa _ ~” 

Wakatoshi huffed at Tooru’s excitement and his eyes narrowed. He held the phone away from his ear for a moment, checking to see who called, and brought it back. “Why are you calling Oikawa, Kuroo?”

Koushi’s gaze snapped to Wakatoshi. Thankfully, Tobio had fallen asleep.

“You don’t need to know where the boy is, he is no longer your concern-”

Koushi furrowed his eyebrows together, needing to hear the other side of the conversation.

Tetsu spoke for a solid minute before Wakatoshi leaned forward. He gripped the phone hard enough that his knuckles turned white. He held Tooru close and spoke in a low voice. 

“Listen to- NO! You listen to me. Tetsurou- if you touch any of them, if you even think about touching any of them- I will know. I will know and that will be the last thing that you ever do. Please do not doubt me, it is not good for your health. If there is any confusion about what I mean by that, I mean I will kill you. And I will not hesitate.”

Wakatoshi ended the call.

“Toshi,” Koushi started, his pupils blown wide.

“Fuck, that was  _ hot _ but you’re choking me and not in a way I enjoy-” Tooru squeaked out from beneath Wakatoshi’s large arm that was wrapped around his neck, Tooru’s chin nestled in the crook of the bigger man’s elbow.

Wakatoshi pulled Tooru up and into a crushing hug, stealing his breath away. He held Tooru tight against him and it was the first time in a long time that Koushi regretted ever getting involved in the domestic blissful life the two of them had established. Thankfully, at that moment, Wakatoshi reached an arm out for Koushi to join them. Koushi stretched across the couch, careful not to disturb the sleeping boy, and pressed his forehead against Wakatoshi’s shoulder. Tooru’s hand wrapped around his forearm and the regret dissipated. 

Tobio stirred on Koushi’s side and sat up suddenly, panting quickly. His eyes shot around the room until they landed on the three men beside him. Koushi had a look of mutual understanding, Tooru had a look of light curiosity, and Wakatoshi’s eyebrows were furrowed with worry.

“Nightmares?” Tooru asked, remembering the early days with Koushi.

Tobio nodded, biting his lip nervously. “Every night.”

“I know all of this is probably really unconventional and maybe even weird but you’re more than welcome to stay here, Tobio. We have two bedrooms and I even have a small office I can convert- or we can move. I’m not super attached to this place anyway and we could all use a change of scenery.” Tooru wiggled out of Wakatoshi’s hold as he spoke. He hesitantly reached out a hand to the younger boy.

Tobio sprung forward, still craving any ounce of affection. He wrapped his arms around Tooru’s waist, nearly making the older man topple over. Tooru’s lips upturned slightly and he rested his hand on the back of Tobio’s head.

“We will be okay.” 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Tobio thrashed in his sleep. He didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in his own room and would end up curled in a ball on the floor of his three other housemates bedroom every night. Tobio rolled over onto his stomach a few minutes after falling asleep in his own bed on an especially cold night. He tried to open his eyes but everything was dark. He attempted to lift his body but it was pointless. They got to him, they would always get to him. That was what Tetsu said, it was what Daichi said, it was what they all said-

Tobio squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to avoid the dark gaze of Daichi hovering behind him, gripping his hips and raising them.

“To~bio~” Daichi sang the boys name, kissing the back of his neck. “You’re so pretty, Tobio. Your skin is so soft and fuck- you’re so tight.”

Daichi shoved a lubed up finger inside of Tobio and curled it, rubbing along the inside of the younger boy’s walls. Tobio grunted against his pillow and desperately hoped his body wouldn’t react but it did, it always did.

Tetsu was in front of him now as Daichi held him up. Tetsu sucked marks into Tobio’s neck as he wrapped his fingers around Tobio’s cock. “Feel how hard he is for us- he’s  _ dripping _ .”

Tobio rolled his head back onto Daichi shoulder, the after effects of whatever they forced him to drink making his head go slack. His entire body shuddered when Daichi added another finger, far too early. Tetsu stroked him but all Tobio could feel was unease and discomfort. Tetsu’s hand around his length felt like small defibrillator shocks to his body. 

“Tell us how bad you want it.” Daichi murmured against the back of his neck, Tobio’s hair standing on its end. 

“I- I want-” Tobio panted heavily, his chest rising and falling with every word. “I want it-”

“Good boy.” Daichi removed his fingers and gave Tobio half a second to breathe before thrusting inside of him as Tetsu held the boy still. 

“Fuck, Dai, you’re going to tear him.” Tetsu said as he spilled more lube between Tobio’s cheeks.

“He’ll- be- fucking fine- Fuck off, Tetsu-” Daichi grunted as he gripped Tobio’s waist. He gave him a rough shove, bending him over. “Arch your fucking back- I know you know how-”

Tobio tried to comply but his body was just too tired. Everything was dark and he was so tired. 

“C’mon- fuck! Hold him still- fuck-” Daichi thrust harder as Tetsu gripped Tobio’s shoulders. “Tell me- tell me how bad you fucking want it. Tell me-” 

When Tobio didn’t respond, Daichi pulled out and flipped the boy over. He kissed him, all teeth and spit and desperation. “Tell me- tell me- tell me, Koushi- tell me you love me-”

Tetsu stared at Daichi as the man groaned as he pushed back inside of Tobio. Tobio blinked, tears spilling down his face, and he raised his legs to meet Daichi’s thrusts. Tobio wrapped his arms around Daichi’s neck. Daichi lifted the boy off of the bed and bit down on his shoulder.

“I- I- want it-this. I want this- Daichi, I love you-” Tobio cried out as he came. 

Tetsu let go of the boy and took a step back, realizing why Daichi had been keeping Tobio to himself and only letting him go to the club if he was there to keep an eye on him. It was only then that Tetsu noticed Tobio had a dark scar that looked like a small cigarette burn beneath his left eye- the same spot where one Koushi Sugawara had a mole. Tetsu looked at the boy's arms as he stretched across the bed and his arms were littered with small marks, undoubtedly in places Daichi had memorized from Koushi’s body.

Daichi pulled Tobio against him, crushing his thin body between his arms. He kissed him tenderly as Tobio whispered words of praise and love.

“Wake up, Tobio.”

Tobio squinted up at Daichi in confusion. “What? My name isn’t- you don’t call me that.”

Daichi lightly touched his forehead, an act of affection that wasn’t reserved for him. “Just wake up, Tobio. It’s okay.”

Tobio inhaled slowly and screwed his eyes shut. The pressure between his legs disappeared. The stale smell of sex and lube dissipated and he opened his eyes to blue walls. Tobio inhaled slowly again and rolled his head to the side, finding Tooru beside his bed.

“I- I- I don’t know- what happened? Where- Am I here? Are you here?”

Tooru pressed his palm against Tobio’s forehead, a light touch that he learned the boy had enjoyed. “I’m here. You’re here. It was just a nightmare. I’ll pull the chair up and sleep in here.”

“No- you shouldn’t. You don’t have to. You’ll hurt your back or something.”

Tooru scoffed and stood. He dragged over the recliner that had made its way into Tobio’s room from the living room. “I’m not that old, Tobio! Besides, Ushiwaka snores and Koushi is like a heater, it’ll be nice sleeping on my own.”

Tooru settled the large chair next to Tobio’s bed and pulled the oversized blanket over the two of them. He held out a hand. 

“Ahem!” 

Tobio grabbed Tooru’s hand and fell asleep with the older man’s eyes on him, waiting for any sign of discomfort.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking out the trash part 1.

Hiro and Koutarou showed up to their home a few days later. Koutarou couldn’t look any of them in the eye and Hiro seemed to be guarding him. Koushi narrowed his eyes at the large man occupying space on their couch. Hiro patted Koutarou’s back sympathetically. 

“Are you going to speak?” Koushi asked through gritted teeth.

Koutarou flinched at his words and glanced up at Koushi only for a moment, his eyes falling back to the ground. Wakatoshi was cooking everyone's food while Tooru stood behind Koushi protectively.

Koutarou scratched the back of his neck and looked up again. “I- I don’t really know what to say here. I want to help but I don’t know if you want my help.”

“What could you possibly help us with?” Koushi questioned.

“Getting rid of Tetsu and Daichi. I thought- I thought they were my friends but- I was just… off my medication for a long time.” 

Koushi raised an eyebrow at his admittance. He remembered Keiji and Hiro mentioning his mental instabilities that could be handled by a proper dose of medication. 

“Can I ask you something?” Koutarou nodded. “What were you planning on doing with me when I came to your house?”

Koutarou frowned. “What do you mean?”

“When you decided that my life and wellbeing was something like a prize that could be bet and lost in whatever fucking game you played with Daichi. When you had Toshi take me from my apartment and bring me to your house- what were you planning on doing?”

Hiro looked between the two of them, sighing. “Koushi- you’re not going to want to hear this but- Koutarou doesn’t remember a lot of things. For a long few months, he only knows what has been told to him.”

Koushi stared at Koutarou in disbelief. He stood from his spot where he was sitting, his hands shaking. “Are you- are you fucking kidding me?”

Koutarou caught his eye again and winced at the ferocity behind his gaze. “I’m sorry-”

“You’re  _ sorry _ ? How can you be sorry? You don’t even remember!” Koushi threw his hands in the air and stomped toward Koutarou. He gripped the collar of his shirt. “You don’t remember? You don’t- you don’t remember shoving your dick down my throat and choking me until I truly believe I was going to die? You don’t remember coming over to my apartment and acting like the next guy then doing the  _ same shit _ ? You don’t- you don’t remember?!”

Koushi was screaming and he didn’t care in the slightest. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Koutarou was able to just  _ forget _ everything that he did. It wasn’t fair that Koushi carried every mental and physical scar of his past and people like Koutarou just get to forget.

Koushi squeezed his eyes shut and let go of his shirt. He wrapped his arms around himself and squeezed until he heard a quiet sob rip from Koutarou’s throat. Koushi looked down at him. His face was buried in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. 

Koushi inhaled deeply through his nose and squatted down in front of him. He gripped Koutarou’s wrists and pulled his hands away from his face. 

“It isn’t fair. It is not fair that it’s that easy for you- you don’t get off that easily. You don’t get to sit here and cry because you’re sorry about all the fucked up things you did that you don’t even remember. I do not forgive you, understand? I do not forgive you. I need your help but I do not forgive you for anything.” Koushi spoke slowly, watching understanding pass through Koutarou’s glassy eyes. 

“I know- I know- I’m sorry-”

Koushi shook his head with a sharp jerk. “You do not know so you can’t be sorry.” Koushi stood and crossed his arms. “Is Keiji happy?”

Koutarou blinked up at him in confusion, sniffling and wiping his eyes. “Ye-yeah, he’s happy. I think- no, I know. He’s happy, he’s really happy- he tells me he’s happy-”

“Good.” Koushi left it at that and sat back down. Tooru was almost hopping from foot to foot and Koushi rolled his eyes. “You’re a sadist.”

Tooru giggled and wrapped his arms around Koushi. “Hot.” 

Hiro raised an eyebrow at them. “You are still like that?”

Koushi tilted his head slightly. “Like what?”

Hiro pointed at Tooru. “That one. He used to get all hot and bothered whenever he would hear Wakatoshi’s voice over the speaker system at work. He walked in on Wakatoshi talking a bit sternly to one of his residents and I had to see the results of that in one of the on call rooms. He’s so loud-”

“STOP TALKING, TAKAHIRO!” Tooru covered Koushi’s ears frantically. “Not in front of the young ones.”

“I’m not that young!” Tobio interjected from the hallway.

Hiro and Koutarou stared at him. “Who is that?”

Tobio side eyed them and went straight to clinging to Tooru’s side. Tooru automatically slung an arm over his shoulders, pulling the boy close. In the days that had passed, Tobio had taken a liking to Tooru, following him around whenever he could. He had spent that morning with Tooru at work as well. Tooru admitted to Koushi that it was a bit overwhelming at first. Tobio seemed to be bouncing back from his previous ordeals relatively quickly, having Tooru around as some kind of parental or brotherly figure was really helping him. 

“His name in Nunya.”

Koutarou squinted slightly. “Is that foreign?”

Koushi snorted and Koutarou frowned. 

“It’s mean none-ya business, Bokuto.” Tooru explained. Tobio buried his face in his sweater, laughing. 

Koutarou pouted and leaned back against the couch. “Can we discuss why we are all here now?”

They all gathered around the small kitchen table where Wakatoshi had spread out his homemade waffles and an abundant amount of sides. He had decided he was going to use his free time to try recipes so he could feed his little family of four. Koushi curled up against Wakatoshi as they shared the same chair. Tooru fixed a plate for Tobio and himself then sat on the floor with him, Tobio had reservations against sitting  _ at _ the table for whatever reason. 

“So what’s the plan?” Hiro asked as he plucked a slice of bacon from the large plate in the middle of the table.

Koushi turned to Koutarou. “You seemed to have some ideas.”

Koutarou nodded. “Yes! Well, it was Keiji’s idea to start but I helped too. Keiji just wanted to kill them both which I was fine with but that didn’t seem like something you’d like to do.” 

“As much as I may want to see it happen, I don’t want anybody dead. I don’t want anything else on my conscience. I just want them gone- I want them in prison or just- gone.” Koushi responded. He pushed his food around his plate and stared down at it. “I don’t want them to be able to do this to anybody else but I don’t want them dead.”

“Keiji has so much information on Daichi that we could easily get him locked up with. The problem is Kuroo. As shitty of a dude that he is, he’s an amazing lawyer. He’s gotten me out of-” Koutarou cleared his throat and quieted. “-out of some stuff. Stuff that I shouldn’t have been able to run from.”

Koushi narrowed his eyes but motioned for him to continue. 

“Nothing we do will stick to Daichi unless we take Kuroo down. Keiji knows how to do that. Despite everything that’s happened, the only thing that Kuroo will ever care about is Tsukki.”

“Who the hell is Tsukki?” Koushi asked.

“Kei Tsukishima.” Wakatoshi answered from behind him. “You believe he is the key to getting rid of Tetsurou?”

“I know he is. Keiji said Kuroo still tries to contact him all the time. Kei and Keiji are good friends.” Koutarou explained. “Keiji said Kuroo sends him money and Kei is close with Kuroo’s mom. Kei wasn’t aware of  _ everything _ his husband was into, he knew about some indiscretions, sure, but not all of it. He didn’t- y’know...about you.”

Koushi huffed. “I’m always the best everyone’s ever had until it comes to telling their husbands about it.”

Tooru, Tobio, Hiro, and Wakatoshi all frowned hard enough to cut glass.

“It was just a joke, guys. Sheesh.” Koushi stuffed a waffle in his mouth. 

Hiro rolled his eyes. “Let’s bring in Keiji then. I assume he wants to help.”

“He does.” Koutarou glanced at Koushi who was avoiding eye contact with him. “He says he has so many wrongs to right and getting rid of those two is the least of them.”

Koushi scoffed. “Sounds like Keiji.” He lifted his gaze and sought out Koutarou who was still staring in his direction. “Fine. Let’s bring in Keiji. I don’t want anybody getting hurt, though. I don’t want anybody getting fucked, literally or mentally or any kind of -ally.”

The group nodded, even Tobio from his partially asleep state half in Tooru’s lap. Tooru was stroking his hair with one hand and stabbing his eggs with the other. Koushi watched them with a soft smile. It had to be done. It had to.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Kei Tsukishima was typing the last of his report when there was a soft knock on his office door. Dark green hair poked through, the smiling always-too-happy-for-the-circumstances face of his head secretary stepped in. 

“Yes, Tadashi?” Kei asked without looking up.

Tadashi cleared his throat and tugged on his tie. “You- Mr. Tsukishima-”

“I’ve told you to call me Kei.”

“Yes Mr. Ts- Mr. Kei- Kei-”

“Tadashi, please.” Kei peered up at the flustered man from behind his glasses.

“Your husband is here.”

Kei’s expression morphed into a scowl at the implication that he still had anything to do with that disaster of a man. He waved his hand at his secretary. “No.”

Tadashi stuttered for a moment, catching himself on the door jam. “What? No? I just- I tell him no?”

“Correct. That’s all.” Kei looked back down at his watch and glared t it.

“Um, okay. I’ll go- I’ll do that.” Tadashi turned and paused in the doorway. “No- excuse me, sir. You can’t- you can’t just go in there-”

Tadashi was shoved to the side as Tetsurou made an appearance in Kei’s office door. Kei leaned back and removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes. 

“Mr. Kei!”

“It’s fine, Tadashi. Head home for the day.”

“Are you sure, sir?” Tadashi hesitated in the doorway.

“Yes. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Tetsurou smirked at Tadashi who glared at him when Kei wasn’t looking. 

“Cute secretary you’ve got there. Is he new?” Tetsurou followed Tadashi as he walked across the office.

“No, you just never paid enough attention to notice he’s been here floundering over me for years.” Kei rubbed a soft piece of cloth over his glasses, checked the reflection, then pulled them back on. He turned back to his laptop, not sparing Tetsurou a glance. “What do you want?”

Tetsurou frowned, holding his hand over his heart. “That hurts, Kei. Can’t we at least be civil?”

Kei gave him a tight-lipped smile and his eyes sparkled as he asked, “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

Tetsurou huffed and walked around Kei’s desk to perch on the edge of it, an action Kei had told him repeatedly that he detested. 

“I just wanted to see my favorite man.”

“Your favorite man?” Kei asked as he let his eyes roam over Tetsurou’s body.

The dark-haired ma n noticed the action. He leaned forward and placed his hands on either side of Kei’s chair, nodding. “My absolute favorite. I was thinking we could go home together.”

Kei chuckled and stood. He moved between Tetsurou’s legs and grabbed the back of his hair, tugging just enough for Tetsurou to close his eyes. Kei bent forward and whispered, “Your place or mine?”

“ _ Our _ place, Kei-”

Kei laughed again, lower and darker, still whispering. “It’s not  _ our _ place, now is it, Tetsu? It hasn’t been our place since you brought your little fucktoy over.”

“Don’t be like that. You know he doesn’t mean anything.” Tetsurou responded, wincing as Kei’s grip tightened. “Can you quit- that hurts-”

Kei gripped harder, yanking Tetsurou’s head back. “You said I’m your favorite, right?”

Tetsurou narrowed his eyes but nodded. “Of course you are. I love you.”

Kei released him with a shove. He moved away from his desk and grabbed his coat from where it hung near his bookshelf. “Goodbye, Tetsu.”

“What the fuck? Kei- please. Wait. Let me-” Tetsurou yanked on the office door and was met with the golden brown eyes he thought he’d never see again.

Koushi stood in front of Koutarou and Wakatoshi, Keiji off to their side.

Tetsurou smirked and stuck his hands in his pockets. “What’s up, everyone? Is this an intervention or something?” His smile was hesitant as he followed Kei with his eyes, watching the man leave the room.

Koushi was holding onto the back of Wakatoshi’s shirt and Tetsurou’s endlessly attentive eyes latched on to the small gesture. He motioned toward Koushi.  “How ya been, angel?”

“No- no, no. Don’t talk to him, Kuroo.” 

Tetsurou’s eyes flashed. “Bokuto, Bokuto, Bokuto. What the fuck are you doing here? I’m surprised you’re able to stop sucking Akaashi’s dick long enough to be out in the public eye, you fuckin’  obsequious scumbag.”

“What colorful language, Tetsu. It’s beautiful, really. You don’t get to talk to him either.” A final voice added.

Tetsurou turned his glare toward Issei. “You traitorous fucking flaming-”

“Guess what? You’re not talking to him either!” Hiro started. “You can talk to me.”

Tetsurou rolled his eyes. “I didn’t have any interest in you then and I don’t have any interest in you now, pinky. I always preferred the Brain, if you get my drift.” Tetsurou winked at Koushi.

Wakatoshi’s hands tightened into fists, even as Koushi reached for him.

“Went and got you a big strong man, didn’t you, angel? Koushi here is great in the sack, yeah? He just, mmh, sucks you right in, no matter how many times you fuck him. No matter how hard-”

“ _ Fuck you _ .” Koushi spat the words out. His eyes flashed at the raven-haired man. He stepped forward, letting go of Wakatoshi’s sweater.

“Come to daddy, angel.” Tetsurou held his arms open and motioned for Koushi to join him.

Koushi scoffed and stood close to his group, crossing his arms. “How did it feel?”

Tetsu sighed and dropped his hands. “How did what feel?”

“Getting thrown into the gutter by the love of your life.”

Tetsurou scoffed. “How did you-”

“Does he know about all the times we fucked? Does he know about all the times you would bend me over and whisper in my ear how much better fucking me was than even being in the same room with him? Does he know how you took me to that 5 star hotel and lit some dumb fucking candles and made me wear his wedding ring?”

Tetsurou was shaking in anger. He raked a hand through his hair rarely. “Shut the fuck up, Koushi- do not talk about him-”

“Does he know how you spent a half hour trying to convince me to cut my hair short and dye it blonde so you could pretend I was him and fuck me like he desvered-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP-” Tetsurou started to reach for Koushi but there were too many men there. 

Koushi held his hands up for them to stop. “Just do whatever you’ve always wanted to do, Tetsu. I know it’s not to kill me- you want control, it’s all you’ve ever wanted. You want me to come with you? You want me to come with you and Daichi and you’ll leave everyone else alone?”

Tetsurou smirked at him through his anger. “You’d come with me and leave all these fucking idiots behind?”

Koushi smiled at him. “Is that what you want?”

“Of course, angel, you’re my favorite of them all in the end.”

Tetsurou stepped toward Koushi and the other men didn’t stop him this time. The other men didn’t stop him when Tetsurou wrapped his arms around Koushi and pulled him against his chest. Koushi looped his arms around Tetsurou’s neck and smiled up at him. 

“Tetsu, do you love me?”

Tetsurou nodded and gripped Koushi’s jaw, running his thumb along his soft skin. “You know I do-”

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“Tell me you love me. Tell me you love me more than  _ anyone _ else.”

Wakatoshi cleared his throat loudly behind them and Tetsurou smiled at the big man over Koushi’s head. Wakatoshi's mouth was set in a thin line and his jaw was clenched.

“I love you, more than anyone else. You’ve always been my number one.”

Koushi giggled and patted his chest. “God, how did I stay stuck with you guys for so long?”

Tetsurou glanced down at him, running his fingers through Koushi’s hair. “What do you mean?”

“You’re just so fucking easy, Tetsu. So easy. You always have been.” Koushi pressed his hands against Tetsurou’s cheeks and turned his head. 

Tetsurou’s eyes locked with Kei’s from across the room. At some point he had reentered the room, Tetsurou wasn't sure how much he heard.

“Kei, babe, what are you-”

“You called me your favorite earlier. Me being your favorite man implies there’s other men, they just aren’t your favorite.” Kei started as he walked toward Tetsurou.

“Wait a moment-”

“How many other men would you say? Ballpark estimate?” Kei tilted his head slightly as Koushi stepped away from the dark-haired man.

“There hasn’t been-”

“You know, I wonder sometimes when you became so comfortable lying to me. Was it always that way? I try not to think that because there’s some really good times we had together at the beginning that I like to hold on to.” Kei stood in front of Tetsurou, his hand travelling up Tetsurou’s body. He slipped a hand into his dark hair and gripped it again.

Tetsurou’s face crumpled as he watched Kei slip away, physically and emotionally. “Babe, please.”

“Babe?” Kei laughed. He traced the sharp line of Tetsurou’s jaw with his thumb, earning an appreciative hum from the desperate man. “Do you call me babe so you don’t confuse our names?”

Tetsurou blinked at him. “What?”

Kei huffed out a laugh, in disbelief that Tetsurou was still trying to keep up the charade. “Kei is one of the simpler ones, isn’t it? Just one syllable. Unlike Daichi, or Nobuyuki, Morisuke, Kenma or what was this one- the one who you told was the best you’ve ever had. Koushi? Those are all a little more complicated names, I don’t know how you keep it together, Tetsu. I really don’t.”

Tetsurou’s jaw dropped further as Kei spoke, his head shook slightly but no words escaped.

Kei sucked his teeth and pressed a light kiss to Tetsurou’s lips, one the shell shocked man couldn’t bother to reciprocate. “It’s a shame. I really did love you.”

Tetsurou stumbled trying to move forward toward Kei, struggling to get words out to protest his departure. The blonde held up a hand as Tetsurou started to reach out for him.

“You know, I guess you shouldn’t feel too bad since I almost confused Tetsurou with Tadashi on more than one occasion. I’m done here. Don’t come back here or anywhere I am for that matter. Security will walk you out.” He turned toward the group, eyeing Koushi, and nodded.

With that, Kei left and Tetsurou stood there motionlessly watching the only thing he truly did care about vanish at the fault of his own words. Tetsurou spun around and yanked on Koushi’s sleeve. For the second time since he had met him, Wakatoshi’s fist connected with Tetsurou’s face. This time, the bigger man's knuckles aimed directly for his nose, fracturing it instantaneously. 

“That’s gotta hurt.” Koutarou muttered as he watched blood spurt from Tetsurou’s face.

Tetsurou rolled onto the ground clutching his face. Issei and Hiro leaned over him.

“That looks broken.” Hiro started.

“It’s definitely going to bruise.” Issei continued. “I should know that, I’m the Brain here for sure.”

Hiro snorted and pushed Tetsurou with the toe of his foot. “Please stop bleeding on this floor. Kei shouldn’t have to come back to such a mess.”

“Fuck- all...of you.” Tetsurou grumbled.

“Been there, done that. It wasn’t  _ that _ exciting.” Koushi chimed in. He hunched over beside the man and shook his head. “I should have done this years ago.”

“Fuck you, Koushi, fuck you! You are  _ nothing _ , do you understand that? There are cameras in this office- this is assault. Have fun visiting your boyfriend in jail.” Tetsurou spat, blood dripping down his chin and staining the collar of his crisp white button-down.

“Eh, Tadashi turned the cameras off for us. It took a little convincing at first but the moment we mentioned it was to fuck with you and help Kei out, it was easy.” Hiro explained. He gaped at Tetsurou’s bruising face. “You’re right, we really should have done this years ago.”

“Fuck-”

“If you threaten my husband, I won’t bother with sending you to prison, Tetsu. Prison would be a dream compared to what I’d like to do to you.” Issei joined the trio and pulled out his phone. He showed the screen to Tetsurou. “This- do you know what this is?”

Judging by the way Tetsurou’s eyes rounded in shock, he did.

“I’ll take that as a yes. I will expose everything you’ve ever done, including the bribes you have taken, the people you’ve fucked over, and the lives you have ruined if you do not disappear.” Issei scrolled through the phone that included pictures and videos.

Koushi remembered Tetsurou had videos of the two of them together when Koushi was on the verge of passing out, even if Koushi didn’t testify to the authenticity of the video it was very clear he wasn’t consenting. Tetsurou wasn’t the type of guy to just delete something like that. After they spoke with Kei, it was easy enough to find his second and third phones hidden in their home. 

“This shit- this wasn’t just me. Cut me a deal! There’s always a deal to be made. Cut me a deal and I’ll give you Daichi.” Tetsurou spoke to Koushi and only Koushi, knowing full well the one person Koushi wanted to go down more than anybody was Daichi.

Koushi stared back at him silently. “You’ll disappear, Tetsu. That’s the end of it. There’s no deal to be made. You’ll disappear and we will always be watching you to ensure that if you ever do this again, we will be there.”

“Then I’m-”

“You’re not taking Daichi with you. You two don’t get to run off into the sunset together. You are not each other’s happy ending.” Koushi spat angrily. “You disappear. End of story.”

Tetsurou scrambled to his feet and did just that.

Hiro squeezed Koushi’s shoulder in reassurance. “I’ll find him wherever he goes. I promise. He won’t do this again.”

Koushi nodded, clenching his jaw to keep his emotions in check. They stayed in check until the group parted and he saw Tooru waiting for them in the coffee shop across the street. Tooru fumbled with the lid of his cup and he was taking off and putting back on repeatedly, nervous energy radiating from him. He leaped out of his seat when he saw Wakatoshi and Koushi. 

He was all smiles until he saw how Koushi was trembling and Wakatoshi’s hand was bleeding. He raised an eyebrow at them. “I saw Tetsu leave. He looked…injured.” 

“He was.” Wakatoshi responded plainly. “I need a first aid kit.”

“I have one in the car.” Tooru wrapped an arm around Koushi and led them toward Wakatoshi’s SUV parked off to the side. Tooru held on to the smaller man as he helped Wakatoshi tend to his wound. “Are you two okay?”

Koushi nodded, still trembling. “He’s gone.”

Tooru frowned as he looked up into his light brown eyes. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m scared.” Koushi admitted quietly. He found Tooru’s gaze and his chest felt tight at the worried look on his face. “I’m scared of… what happens when we find Daichi.”

“I know, I know you are. You know we are all here, right? We will be here every step of the way.” Tooru secured the gauze around Wakatoshi’s split knuckle and shook a finger at him. “And you- baby, you really need to stop hitting people.”

“I will not stop hitting people that try to attack either of you. I will not hit without provocation.” Wakatoshi responded as he flexed his hand, blushing at the pet name despite his demeanor not changing. He turned to Koushi. “I wish you would not put yourself in danger anymore. I understand that you can take care of yourself but you should not have to. That is why I am here.”

Koushi was surprised at the possessive tone to his words but he didn’t hate them.

Wakatoshi dropped his gaze and took Koushi’s hands to start rubbing his fingers. “I do not like that he touched you.”

“I know. It will never happen again.”

Wakatoshi nodded slowly. “I would like to go home. Tobio should be finished with his club soon.”

Tooru grinned proudly. “I’m so happy he took after me playing volleyball. If he was a football player like Ushiwaka here, I think I’d die.”

Koushi narrowed his eyes. “And what about-”

Tooru patted Koushi’s head. “As much as you think it qualifies because it’s in the Olympics, ping-pong is not a real sport.” 

Koushi scowled at him. The ride back home consisted of bickering over ping-pong, cheerleading, and rhythmic gymnastics and where they fall in the Olympic categories of being real sports.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter got away from me. I was going to split it in two but decided it worked better as one.

Tobio crossed his arm defiantly as he glared at Tooru. Tooru had the same expression on and it was more infuriating because unbeknownst to anybody but Tooru and Tobio, the younger boy was taking a copious amount of Tooru’s mannerisms as his own. It was incredibly entertaining for Koushi when he watched them butt heads because the way that they argued was exactly the same. They were equally stubborn as well.

“Tobio-”

“I don’t want to-” Tobio grumbled in response.

“Speak up, Tobio. I can’t hear you.” Tooru leaned over the table, uncrossing his arms.

Tobio’s face pinched in annoyance. Whenever Tooru was trying to get his way, he would say that same stupid sentence. “You can hear me fine. I said I don’t want to.”

“And why don’t you want to?”

“Because it’s dumb.” Tobio muttered. Before Tooru had the chance to repeat himself, Tobio also leaned over the table in challenge. “I just don’t want to. Why isn’t that enough?”

“Because sometimes we all have to do things that we don’t want to do.” Tooru responded. “As adults-”

“I know all about doing things I don’t want to do.” It was a low blow, Tobio knew that, but he  _ really _ didn’t want to dress up as an elf for community service that the online school he was attending decided was necessary. Why that of all things? Why a Christmas party where Tobio had been volunteered to be a fucking  _ elf _ where he was just going to get bothered by kids all night? He didn’t even like kids.

Tooru frowned, lowering his eyes. His lower lip wobbled as he responded. “I’m sorry- I didn’t- I didn’t mean-” Tooru cleared his throat and stood from the table. “You don’t have to.” He whispered the words and retreated to his room.

Tobio watched him go, his own expression softening as Tooru’s easy defeat. As Tooru shuffled past, Tobio caught Koushi’s menacing glare from across the living room. Tobio’s eyes widened and he stiffened as Koushi marched over and stood in front of him. Koushi drew his middle finger back on his thumb and flicked Tobio right in the middle of the forehead. 

“That was rude as fuck. Apologize.”

“I’m not-”

“Apologize! You don’t get to be a dick to him. You know how he gets. Go dress up as a stupid little elf because it will make him happy. He  _ loves _ the holidays so stop being a little shit.”

As much as Tooru and Tobio’s relationship had evolved into a more fatherly one, his relationship with Koushi had taken a full turn to brotherly. They bickered constantly, Tooru and Wakatoshi having to step between them frequently. Koushi was jealous of all the time Tooru was spending with Tobio. The younger boy would stick out his tongue at Koushi whenever Tooru was paying more attention to him and Koushi would throw a piece of fruit at him. 

“I don’t want to-”

“I know you don’t want to stop being a little shit, but you’re going to anyway.” Koushi leaned over Tobio and narrowed his eyes. “Go. Apologize.” Koushi spoke through gritted teeth and Tobio got the chills.

As brotherly as their relationship might be, Koushi was still terrifying. Tobio jumped out of his chair and went straight to Tooru’s bedroom, knocking softly. After some dramatic sniffling, Tooru opened the door. He had a throw blanket pulled over his head and he immediately turned back around and flopped onto his bed.

Tobio groaned inwardly but followed him inside. He perched on the edge of the bed and poked Tooru’s hip. “Tooru- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

Tooru sniffled loudly and readjusted himself underneath the fuzzy blanket. “Hmph.”

Tobio fought back a sigh and moved closer. “That was a mean thing to say, I know it was- I’m sorry.”

“Really?” Tooru asked weakly.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

“Really, really?” Tooru repeated, sounding slightly more giddy.

Tobio glared at his blanketed figure but reaffirmed him. “Yes.”

Tooru’s arms flung open and he grabbed Tobio, earning a squeak from the tall boy as he hugged him. Tooru pulled his phone out from his blanket cocoon and showed Tobio the screen. “Good because this is in your size and it can be here tomorrow. Koushi will dress up too, I made him do it last year and it was so much fun. Ushiwaka makes the best Santa Claus ever. He’s done it so many times.”

“Wait a minute- what-” Tobio eyed the costume. “Where exactly is this Meet Santa thing?”

“It’s here, of course.” Tooru responded, ignoring Tobio’s gaze.

Tobio jumped to his feet. “What do you mean it’s here? This- wait! You set me up!” 

“Yes I did and you were mean to me so I’m forgiven, yes?” Tooru looked over at Tobio, his thumb hovering above his phone screen.

Tobio groaned loudly and flung himself back onto the bed. He started grumbling nonsense into the comforter and Tooru accepted his apology. 

“Now where were we…”

  
  
  


Wakatoshi studied the closed door after hearing Tobio’s loud complaining. “Are they okay?”

Koushi snorted and stretched out against Wakatoshi who was laying behind him on the couch. “Yes. They’re fine. Tooru is recruiting Tobio as an elf.”

“Ah, another one for the harem.”

Koushi gasped out a laugh and swatted Wakatoshi. “Don’t say that! It isn’t a harem.”

Wakatoshi furrowed his eyebrows together. “A flock?”

“Elves are  _ human _ , Toshi. Maybe magic but still human. It’s just a workshop. We are part of Daddy Santa’s workshop.” Koushi adjusted until he was turning around to face Wakatoshi.

Wakatoshi hummed and leaned toward Koushi until their faces were an inch apart. “That makes me Daddy Santa?”

Koushi grinned and closed his eyes, pressing his lips against Wakatoshi’s soft ones. “It sure does. Are we unlocking a new kink right now?”

The bigger man seemed to ponder that for a moment before sliding his hand between them until he was cupping Koushi’s half-hard length. “I am not sure that it is my kink that we are unlocking.”

Koushi gasped at the touch and pushed himself closer to Wakatoshi. “Toshi! They’re right in the other room-”

Wakatoshi nudged Koushi’s head and started mouthing at his neck. “Aren’t elves supposed to do whatever Santa wants?”

Koushi laughed quietly but nodded. “I’m at your service, Daddy Santa.”

“Ew-”

Koushi yelped and looked up to see Tobio staring at him. 

“Get a room, that’s gross.” Tobio sneered as he slung his volleyball bag over his shoulder and headed off to practice. 

“Quiet down you little cockblock!” Koushi yelled after him.

“Who is blocking whose cock?” Tooru asked as he fluffed his hair after tackling Tobio had sent it into disarray. 

“I believe Koushi was admonishing Tobio for walking in on me feeling him up.” Wakatoshi’s voice was slightly muffled as he never stopped sucking dark spots into Koushi’s collarbone. 

Tooru eyed them for a moment before reaching over and tugging on Wakatoshi’s collar. “C’mon, we have plenty of space on the bed.”

“Space for what?” Koushi asked innocently. 

“For sex, Koushi.” Wakatoshi deadpanned in a way only he could.

Only then did Koushi realize that the three of them had been together for nearly two years, and they hadn’t had sex. Or well, Koushi hadn’t had sex with Tooru or Wakatoshi but the original couple was no doubt still having sex with each other. They’d done...other things...but not the actual act itself. Koushi couldn’t help but wonder how that would work with three parties that were not only fully aware of what was going on but actually consenting. He thought back to the threesomes that he had before and they mostly just hurt. He wasn’t sure if-

“Or cuddling? Y’know, I love cuddling. Or making out. We don’t- we definitely don’t have to have sex. Ignore Ushiwaka. Not that I wouldn’t  _ love  _ to have sex with you, Koushi, but I mean-”

“You’re rambling.” Koushi pointed out with a shy smile.

“You’re overthinking so we are even.”

Koushi shrugged, knowing full well the three of them knew each other well enough that they were each absolutely right. Koushi stood and tugged on each of their hands. The three of them walked to the bedroom together. Maybe it would be awkward? Maybe it would be just fine- maybe Koushi wasn’t ready yet- No, no. Koushi was ready. He had been ready for a while. He was just nervous for the first time in his sexually active life.

“So, random question, but who tops between you two?” Koushi asked as he perched on the edge of the bed.

Tooru looked offended. “I do!”

Koushi raised both eyebrows. “Liar.”

Tooru threw his hands in the air. “If you knew, then why did you ask?”

Wakatoshi pulled his shirt off and tossed it into a hamper. He picked up a large soft beach towel and spread it across the middle of the bed. “We switch. He is only half lying.” Wakatoshi stood in front of Koushi and the smaller man looked up at him with wide eyes. “I think we are all nervous and we have all been nervous for a while. Tooru and I have discussed it several times with each other but we should have been discussing it with you. To be frank, we do not know if you’ve ever really had any kind of sex that was 100% comfortable or enjoyable and that is what we want. Neither of us mind if you are not ready, as Tooru said: I also like to cuddle.”

Koushi swallowed his nerves and tilted his head up. Wakatoshi was necessarily wrong. Koushi had enjoyed sex before, unfortunately it was a very rare occasion for him to do so. His orgasms usually came after whoever he was with had left. The only people to ever take their time were Hiro and Issei but even then, something always nagged at Koushi. He knew it was just a kink of theirs to fuck him which is why Hiro always watched. They probably cared about him, sure, but not in the way that Wakatoshi and Tooru did.

Koushi’s eyes wandered over the large man’s body and he couldn’t help but think about all the times he’d fantasized about Wakatoshi absolutely railing him. 

Koushi spread his legs to make room for Wakatoshi. He leaned back onto his elbows and his eyes flitted between the two of them. “I’m ready.”

Tooru squealed and rushed over to his dresser. Wakatoshi held his stance for a moment longer before leaning over and  _ lifting _ Koushi with a thick arm underneath him so he could adjust him to move further up the bed. Koushi gasped at the movement at the same moment Wakatoshi leaned in to kiss him. Tooru rummaging around for what he assumed was lube and condoms was drowned out by the comfortably overwhelming feeling of Wakatoshi’s hard body against his own leaner one. Koushi opened his mouth and groaned quietly as the brunette licked along his teeth. Wakatoshi pulled away from his mouth and pressed his lips to Koushi’s neck. He bit down gently then licked over the light red mark.

“Is this okay?” Wakatoshi asked in a hushed tone.

Koushi nodded as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. “Yes, yes- it’s- yes. Please don’t stop.”

Tooru plopped onto the bed and watched the two for a moment before his excitement got the best of him. He moved behind Koushi and reached down his body to tug his shirt off. Koushi giggled as the offending fabric became tangled between the three of them. Wakatoshi swallowed his laughter with a kiss. He reached down to unbutton Koushi’s jeans and began pushing them down.

Koushi groaned when he felt Wakatoshi’s hand against his erection, palming him over his boxers. He blinked rapidly and looked up at Tooru. “How- how are we doing this?”

Tooru bit his lip and peered up at Wakatoshi. “I was hoping that- that I could- that I could.”

Koushi’s eyebrows drew together in confusion until Wakatoshi lifted off of him and Tooru replaced the warm body against him.

“Not both of you?”

Tooru’s eyes widened. “What? No! Wha- that would hurt.” He stared down at Koushi as he pushed the ash-colored hair back. “Have you done that before?”

“Unfortunately.” Koushi admitted, closing his eyes. He felt Tooru’s lips against his and he smiled against his mouth. “Everything I do feels new with you either way. It’s different- it’s something I truly want to do.”

“Great because I really, really, really,  _ reaaaaally  _ want to fuck you.” Tooru kicked his own pants off and yelped when he felt Wakatoshi pull his boxers off. “A little warning, Ushiwaka!” 

Wakatoshi rolled his eyes and grabbed one of the bottles of lube from the bed. As Tooru and Koushi continued kissing and touching and groaning, Wakatoshi coated his fingers. He moved down to his knees behind Tooru and reached between his legs, earning a high pitched gasp as he wrapped his slick fingers around his length. 

“Wha- wha-” Tooru groaned into Koushi’s mouth.

“I want to get him ready.” Wakatoshi announced as he continued stroking Tooru who was melting under his touch.

Tooru rolled onto his back and nudged Koushi. “Turn over, it’ll be fun.” 

Koushi kicked his own bottoms off and rolled onto his stomach, his mouth immediately being occupied by Tooru. Koushi automatically raised his hips as Wakatoshi’s gentle touch guided him. Wakatoshi kissed along his back, earning soft sighs from the lean man beneath him. Koushi had never experienced a touch as soft as his. There was something about it that just turned Koushi on so much because nothing about him  _ appeared _ gentle. Koushi’s thoughts were interrupted as he felt a finger prodding at his entrance, slicked up and firm. He could tell Wakatoshi was waiting for his okay as he patiently pressed open mouthed kisses along the soft skin of his upper thigh. Koushi nodded and buried his face in the crook of his elbow. 

Tooru reached out and pushed his hair back. Koushi rolled his head over and Tooru leaned in to kiss him again. Koushi gripped Tooru’s shoulder as Wakatoshi pushed a finger inside of him. Koushi couldn’t even begin to describe how good it felt. It wasn’t like anything he had ever experienced before. It had been so fucking long since he had more than a blowjob and fuck it just felt-

Koushi groaned, deep and quiet, as Wakatoshi pressed a second finger in. The amount of lube he was using was making it drip down Koushi’s thighs and the  _ sounds _ they were making were god-like. Wakatoshi leaned over so as to make sure Tooru wasn’t feeling neglected. Koushi’s lips parted in surprise when Tooru’s head rolled back and he gasped. 

His eyes dragged down Tooru’s lean body and he caught sight of Wakatoshi’s lips wrapped around Tooru’s cock. His eyes were closed and he managed to pump his fingers inside of Koushi at the same time. Tooru was close to cumming by the time Wakatoshi had worked a third finger inside of Koushi.

“St-stop-stopstopstop- I’m- I want to finish with Koushi.” Tooru sat up as Wakatoshi pulled off of him, the bigger man nodding. 

Koushi was panting against the pillow he was hugging, his arm thrown around his eyes. He was barely paying attention to the movement around him, only noticing Wakatoshi removing his hand. Tooru turned him over and was hovering over him when he opened his eyes again, concern etched across his features. 

“Hey- I’m good. Fuck, I’m so good.” Koushi said in a breathy tone. He pushed himself up to capture Tooru’s mouth. “I’m so fucking good.” 

Tooru grinned at him and his smile lit up the room, it always did. “How do you want to be?”

Koushi rolled onto his stomach. “Like this-” He held out a hand for Wakatoshi. “I want to feel both of you.”

Koushi smirked when he noticed Wakatoshi’s dick twitch at his words. Wakatoshi joined the two of them on the bed, sliding up next to Koushi as Tooru positioned himself behind. Koushi stretched his arm out and reached for Wakatoshi’s thick length, throbbing and in need of attention. 

“Are you ready?” Tooru asked as he gripped Koushi’s hips.

“Yes, yes- Tooru, please-  _ ah, hah- fuck _ .” Koushi cursed as Tooru thrust inside of him, slowly pushing until his hips pressed against Koushi’s thighs. 

Koushi whimpered, arching his back deeply as he gripped a pillow with his free hand. His eyes fluttered open when Wakatoshi touched his face. Koushi smiled drunkenly and motioned for the lube. Tooru pulled out of him, the head of his cock catching on his rim and earning several more curses, then pushed back. Koushi was warm and wet and velvety around him.

“God- Koushi. God. You feel so good. You’re- fuck.” Tooru panted the words out as he picked up a steady pace. 

Koushi pushed back against him, grunting with every movement of Tooru’s hips. He wrapped his hand around Wakatoshi and exhaled slowly. “Toshi- kiss me-”

Wakatoshi slipped his tongue inside of Koushi’s mouth, tasting Tooru on his tongue. He groaned deeply when Koushi rubbed his thumb along his slit, slow and tantalizing. Tooru gripped the smaller man’s hips with one hand and rubbed soothing circles with the other. He whispered words of praise that had Koushi throbbing. Wakatoshi reached between his legs and Koushi gasped, deepening their kiss. Tooru’s hips snapped back and forth faster, his movements starting to get erratic. 

“I’m- I’m-  _ nng _ ,  _ fuck _ \- I’m gonna-” Koushi pumped Wakatoshi faster, knowing he was seconds away from being completely useless.

He felt the bigger man stiffen and groan, a deep rumble that came from the bottom of his chest as he spilled onto Koushi’s hand. Koushi came shortly after, groaning into the pillow as Wakatoshi stroked him through it and Tooru thrust behind him. Koushi bordered near oversensitivity when he felt Tooru’s fingertips digging into his hips. 

“Tooru, baby, come for us.” 

Those simple words from Wakatoshi had the brunette coming with a shudder inside of Koushi. He pulled out slowly and collapsed on the other side of the ashen-haired man, breathing heavily. Koushi stretched his legs out and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep to the sounds of each man breathing next to him. He whined when he felt the bed dip, signaling Wakatoshi’s exit. Koushi moved closer to the other warm body but he was lifted before he was able to touch it.

“We need to clean you up. Tooru gets really whiny when cum dries on him and I am too tired to deal with it. Tooru, move the towel.”

Tooru groaned dramatically at having to move even an inch but he did. He rolled the towel up and tossed it into a hamper. He peeled the comforter back and reached into their nightstand for the skin soothing baby wipes he kept there. He plucked a few out and took the time to clean each of them, careful not to linger too long lest they start everything all over again.

Koushi clung to Wakatoshi as he carried him bridal style back toward the bed. He laid Koushi down in the middle and the other two men wrapped around him: Wakatoshi’s arm stretched underneath his head so he could run his fingers through Tooru’s hair as well and Tooru’s arm wrapped around his waist, lazily stroking his sides. Koushi pressed his back against Wakatoshi’s warm broad chest and closed his eyes, ready for the best nap of his  _ life _ .

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

When Koushi woke up from his nap, reality slapped him in the face again. He could hear hushed voices talking from the living room. He walked into the room with a sleepy smile stretched across his face. It faded when he saw the unshed tears welling up in Tobio’s eyes. The younger boy was sitting between Tooru’s legs, his head leaning against his thigh. Tobio glanced at Koushi and his jaw started trembling again.

“What?” Koushi asked with a sense of the dread that came with the deja vu he was feeling.

“He found Tobio outside of the gym. Thankfully, his coach was still there and had enough sense to know Tobio wasn’t comfortable going home with the man. He called Wakatoshi and by the time he got there-”

“He was gone.” Koushi finished, not needing to know the rest of the sentence. He wrapped his arms around his body tightly and retreated into himself.

“Come here, Koushi.” Wakatoshi’s booming demand cut through his walls.

Koushi started to shake his head weakly but the bigger man was already reaching for him. Wakatoshi held Koushi tightly, tight enough to remind him that he was okay. Koushi closed his eyes and leaned against his warmth. 

“We are leaving, right?” Koushi asked.

Tooru nodded. “I’ve already arranged for a transfer. Ushiwaka has as well. We’ve both been hinting at it when we were working so it wasn’t a surprise.”

“He tried to take you?” Koushi asked, turning to Tobio.

Tobio nodded and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “He-he said he knew where we all were. He said it was easy to find me. He said it was so easy to find me that he could grab me on the way to practice or on the way home or when I was taking out the trash on Thursday nights. He told me if I went with him then- then he- he would-” Tobio choked out a sob.

“He would what, love?” Tooru asked as he rubbed the boy’s back soothingly.

Tobio stared at Koushi. “He said if I went with him then you wouldn’t die. He said you’re his and nobody else’s and if he can’t have you then nobody can.”

Koushi couldn’t begin to describe the emotions that flooded his head at that moment. The one emotion he could pinpoint without a doubt was fury: pure burning rage. He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t sad. He was  _ furious _ . Koushi shot out of Wakatoshi’s arms, ignoring his protests and went into their room. He had already yanked on a sweater and a pair of boots by the time Tooru and Wakatoshi were at the door.

“What are you doing?” Wakatoshi asked, his tone calm.

“Please- just hold on, don’t go- don’t leave again- you said you wouldn’t leave again!” Tooru was rubbing his arms anxiously as he watched the ashen-haired man tie his shoes.

Koushi looked up, his mouth set in a thin line. “I’m not running away. Not anymore. He’s- he’s fucking delusional, he’s not going to stop- he won’t stop! Tobio is my family now and he’s not going to fuck with my family anymore.”

“What are you planning on doing?” Wakatoshi asked, blocking the doorway as Koushi tried to get past him.

Koushi glared up at him. “What do you think I’m going to do? I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“Absolutely not- Koushi, what the fuck?” Tooru exclaimed.

Koushi tried to push past Wakatoshi again but the burly man wasn’t budging. “Would you fucking move?!”

Wakatoshi shook his head slowly. “Do not speak to me like that. I do not like it.”

Koushi groaned and leaned his forehead against the taller man’s chest. “I’m sorry. I just- dammit. I have to do  _ something _ .”

“I do not know how many times I have to tell you until you understand, but you do not have to do anything by yourself. We will help you. Whatever it is that you truly want to do, we will help you.” Wakatoshi’s all encompassing words reassured any lingering doubt Koushi had about his place in their relationship. He was finally realizing that it wasn’t him and the couple, it was the three of them. Together.

Koushi nodded against him and reached out to grip Tooru’s t-shirt. 

“I’m going to call Hiro. He always knows what to do.” Tooru pulled his phone out.

Killing Daichi seemed like it was the best outcome. With him gone,  _ actually _ gone, Koushi might be able to breathe as deeply as any regular person should be able to. What else was there to do? Send him to prison? No- what would that do? Koushi could only imagine the connections Daichi had to set himself up a little kingdom in any prison he landed in. Koushi really thought threatening Tetsu would at least make Daichi think twice about bothering any of them again but that clearly did nothing. Tetsu was gone and Daichi was desperate. Tetsu’s one care in life was Kei Tsukishima and Daichi’s one care in life was Koushi Sugawara. There was no arguing that.

Maybe they could just fake his death? Fake his death and have him relocate. Tobio, Tooru, and Toshi would join him later. But what if Daichi followed them? Koushi couldn’t do something as easy as faking his death- not when he was at least slightly well-known with his magazine ads and bus billboards. What was it- Would Daichi really let him go? Was finding Tobio some last ditch effort just to remind him that he was everywhere? Koushi didn’t doubt that for a second. Koushi had to show Daichi that he didn’t need him.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Daichi rolled a paper straw between his fingers as he stared at the man across from him. He wanted to say he still knew him but he didn’t know anything about  _ this _ man. He didn’t know the way he held his head high when he walked. He didn’t know the way his voice has a confident lilt to it when he did something as simple as order coffee. He didn’t know the way his light hair shined and his equally pale skin glowed. He didn’t know him at all.

And that pissed him off.

“So-” Daichi started, jamming the straw into his coffee. “Why in the fuck am I here?”

Koushi tilted his head slightly and leaned back in his chair. “We’re getting coffee.”

“Coffee.” Daichi repeated, not taking his eyes off of Koushi.

Koushi nodded. “Yup. Just coffee. Between old friends, right?”

Daichi scoffed and rolled his eyes. “What do you want?”

“No, Sawamura- what do  _ you _ want?” Koushi responded. “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Whatever you want? So tell me, Daichi. What do you want?” Koushi slipped his foot out of the canvas shoe he was wearing as glided his foot up Daichi’s leg. He swallowed the repulsive feeling that came over him when he pressed the ball of his foot against Daichi’s crotch and felt that he was half-hard already.

Daichi narrowed his eyes and tilted his head back, polishing off the cup of iced coffee. “Take a walk with me.”

Koushi nodded and continued sipping on his own drink. He pulled his jacket back on and followed Daichi out of the cafe, pausing when Daichi fumbled with his own coat. They walked silently, Daichi pressed against his side but not holding on to him. They neared Koushi’s destination when Daichi stumbled over his own feet.

“You okay?”

Daichi blinked at him and nodded slowly. “M’fine.”

“Good. Can’t have you passing out yet.” Koushi said with a grin. He looped his arm with Daichi’s to support him.

“Yet? Whaddya mean?” Daichi paused and leaned against a wall. “Wait- fuck, I don’t feel so good.”

“Oh? What’s wrong?”

Daichi rubbed his eyes and peered up at Koushi. “Wha’ did ya fuckin’ do?” Daichi slurred the words as he slumped against the wall.

Koushi sighed and pulled out his phone. He kicked at Daichi’s limp leg. “You only needed to walk another block, Sawamura. Fucking useless man- Hey! He passed out. Can someone come help me? I can’t carry him on my own.”

Koushi heard a chuckle and turned to find Issei strolling toward him. “My oh my. What are we doing here?”

Koushi shrugged and pointed at Daichi. “It wasn’t even that much! I’ve taken more than that and still given a stellar blowjob. He’s a fucking lightweight.”

Issei nodded and grunted as he pulled Daichi to his feet. He frowned at their surroundings. “Why do I have to do the dirty work?”

Koushi snorted and moved to support Daichi’s other half. “You’re such a baby, Issei. How does Hiro put up with you?”

Issei smirked in response. “My blowjobs are also stellar.”

Koushi laughed in between huffs of breath, exerting himself more than he would have liked. His face was red and blotchy by the time they reached the third door in the fourth alleyway. The door swung open and Koushi shoved Daichi off of him.

“All yours!”

Keiji stood at the door, stepping back quickly to avoid Daichi’s falling body. The bigger man groaned as he hit the floor, slurring out more nonsense. Koutarou appeared and dragged him to the first bedroom. Koushi watched them go, no particular emotion seeding in his mind.

“What’s the plan?” Keiji asked, interrupting his mental roaming.

Koushi dropped his bag to the ground and peered into the living room where Tooru and Wakatoshi were talking to Hiro. Everyone was there. All of his people. His family. He was safe.

“I just want to talk to him.” Koushi said for the fifteenth time. Saying it out loud made him actually believe it.

Keiji nodded but didn’t respond. “Okay, well Koutarou knows how to tie him so he won’t be able to get free.”

Koushi stifled a laugh and raised an eyebrow.

Keiji huffed and crossed his arms. “So we like to...experiment.”

“Shibari?”

Keiji  _ blushed _ . “Yes- Koushi. Yes. I let him tie me up. He likes how I look in the pentagram harness.”

Koushi couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing as Keiji swatted at him to be quiet. Tooru peered at him from the living room and Koushi could only wave a hand showing it was okay. He was gasping for air and snorting and Keiji was shaking his head, a small smile on his face. Their relationship had grown into something one might call friendship. They were comfortable with each other again. Koushi still wasn’t okay being around Koutarou but he was trying. They all were.

Koushi giggled and patted Keiji on the shoulder. “We all have our kinks. I like being sandwiched between two big, tall men, so I’m not shaming you.”

Koushi hovered outside of the door where Koutarou had dragged Daichi. He held his hand over the doorknob, listening. He nearly fell into the room when it was pulled open from the inside. Koutarou reached out to steady him but hesitated and Koushi kind of stumbled against his hard body. Koutarou stiffened and didn’t move a muscle. 

Koushi stood and before he could tell Koutarou it was okay, he spotted Daichi behind him. He was seated in a chair, his arms, legs, and torso bound. He was blinking up at the ceiling. He rolled his head forward when Koushi opened the door and there was a flicker of recognition behind his eyes. 

“It’s fine, Kou- just- let me have a minute with him.” Koushi waved Koutarou away, not really paying any more attention to him. 

Koutarou hesitated again but decided not to argue. Koushi closed the door behind him and walked toward Daichi. The amount of sedative that Koushi slipped into his drink should have knocked him out but it appeared Daichi was less of a lightweight than Koushi initially thought. Daichi’s eyes followed Koushi across the room until he sat at the foot of the bare bed that was taking up most of the space.

“The fuck am I doin’ here?” Daichi mumbled, still not completely over the effects of the drug.

Something about having Daichi there in front of him made it hard to breathe. Koushi inhaled slowly and let out a breath through pursed lips. He couldn’t bear to look at him. Koushi didn’t know what he was supposed to do here. He was having such a hard time convincing himself that Daichi was anything other than better off dead. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought back to all the times before, the times when Daichi would run his fingers through his hair in lieu of a brush because he said it made his hair fluffier. Daichi would make himself fried tofu and he always made sure to make spicy tofu for Koushi. 

Daichi went out of town for work and brought back a gift set of 7 different levels of hot sauce. They had a fucking fondue set for godssake, one that they actually used a couple of times a month after Daichi was scrolling through  _ Pinterest _ and found a recipe he wanted to try. Koushi blinked back tears as he wondered where it went wrong. That shouldn’t be something that he had to guess, he figured out years ago that something was wrong with their relationship from the start. They were never together, not really. They could never have actually been together. 

“I want you ta’ look at me.” Daichi slurred as he tried to bring himself to sobriety. 

Koushi blinked at the familiar words, a memory trying to push its way through his muddled memories. “What did you say?”

“I want you to look at me.”

Koushi’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Those words were so familiar. Something about them was making his chest tight, it was making his head body, his entire body. He had flashbacks of the hospital room he woke up in. Koushi squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered. He shook his head slowly, muttering to himself.

“Don’t- don’t say that.”

“Suga, just look at me-”

“It was you.”

Daichi screwed his own eyes shut and opened them, finally seeing more clearly. ‘What was me? What did I do now?”

Koushi scoffed, no longer fighting back the tears. “It was you- you- Daichi- why didn’t you just fucking kill me? Can you not even do that?”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“You-! You put me in the hospital. You- fuck. You came over and you- you were mad that I was gone. You- your belt. You choked me out with your fucking belt and- and you hit me with it. There was a friend. Then you- goddammit Daichi, why didn’t you just fucking kill me?”

Daichi watched him silently. 

“You punched me in the fucking face and beat me and why didn’t you- you couldn’t- how can you put me through all this shit and not fucking leave me alone and still- STILL- you had the chance and you still couldn’t do it?” Koushi reared his arm back and slapped Daichi across the face.

Daichi’s head barely moved from the contact, he kept his eyes trained on the man huffing above him. 

“God- I- FUCK!” Koushi screeched and yanked at his hair, crumpling to the floor on his knees.

There was a soft knocking at the door that he ignored. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. That wasn’t me.” Daichi spoke quietly.

Koushi’s eyes rose to meet Daichi’s slowly, trying to understanding why the fuck he would bother lying at this point. What was it going to do for anybody?

“It wasn’t me.”

‘It wasn’t you?”

Daichi shook his head.

“It wasn’t you.” Koushi ignored the persistent knocking and curious calls of his name as he stood. “Fuck  _ you _ , Daichi Sawamura. You are  _ nothing _ without me, do you know that? All those supposed friends of yours- they’re all gone, aren’t they? Hiro and Issei are by my side. Tetsu disappeared without a fucking trace. Hell, even Koutarou helps out now. Do you know what they get in return?”

Daichi huffed and rolled his head back to peer up at Koushi.

“Nothing.” Koushi whispered. “They don’t get anything. They don’t want anything. Unlike you- you and Tetsu- they don’t  _ need _ me. It must be killing you, huh?” Koushi leaned over Daichi and swung a leg over him, straddling him. He dug his fingertips into Daichi’s clavicle. 

“It must kill you to see me with them. To see Tooru’s hands all over me, knowing Wakatoshi can touch me anytime that he wants- anywhere that he wants. Do you want to know what it takes to get them hard?” Koushi leaned close, pressing his lips against Daich’s ear. “Nothing. A few bats of my eyelashes, a soft spoken word here or there and they’re putty in my fucking hands. That must kill you.”

Daichi grunted in response but his knuckles were white behind his back from gripping so hard.

“It must kill you knowing how many times I’ve fucked them- both of them. How many times I’ve spread myself out for them, willingly let them do whatever they want. It must kill you knowing you had to pay someone to fuck me in order to get it up.”

Daichi drew in a shuddering breath as his jaw started to tremble.

Koushi sat back, straight up and stared Daichi down. “Fuck you. You’re an insignificant man and you’ll be nothing more than a disgusting distant memory. I’m sorry it took me this many years to realize this but you just don’t deserve me, Sawamura.”

Daichi tried to lunge at Koushi but Koutarou’s knots held him back.

Koushi laughed and lifted himself off of the man vibrating with anger. He smoothed his hair back and wiped his eyes, still laughing. Koushi ignored the splinters of wood behind him as Wakatoshi kicked the door in, fearing for his safety.

Koushi stepped close to Daichi and pressed his palm to the man’s cheek. “Daichi, look at me-” Daichi blinked rapidly and looked up at the ashen-haired man. “If you come near any of us again, I will kill you. I promise. I don’t know I’ll do it, I don’t know when I’ll do it, but if you come near  _ any _ of us- I promise, Daichi. I promise you will not live another day.”

Koushi closed his eyes and his lips met Daichi’s, a brief moment that was nothing more than a couple of seconds. Daichi was silently crying when Koushi pulled back.

“I would have done anything for you, Daichi. I really would have. You just couldn’t help yourself when it came to controlling me, could you?” Koushi spoke just above a whisper, the words only meant for the man in front of him.

“I-” Daichi started, shaking his head slowly. He pushed against the restraints, fruitlessly. “I love you, Suga. I always will.”

Koushi chuckled and patted Daichi’s shoulder. “Sure you do. Goodbye, Sawamura.”

Koushi gazed at him for another moment before turning and pushing past the group that had gathered in the doorway. Koushi kept up the momentum he had, tugging his shoes back on, and continuing toward the front door. Before, he would have tumbled outside on his own and struggled through the rest of the day with his emotions. Before, he would drink away his sorrows and maybe swallow a few more things to help him get through his day. Before, he would have disappeared into himself, into the oblivion that he called comfort, a seed of darkness buried inside of him.

But now, Koushi didn’t make it to the door before he felt a warm hand clutching his bicep. Another hand wrapped around his fingers, squeezing them gently. 

Koushi turned, blurry eyed, and found Tooru and Wakatoshi holding on to him, their eyebrows slightly furrowed in both worry and confusion. He didn’t blame them for either emotion, especially the former considering his track record.

“Hey, where are you off to, love?” Tooru asked softly.

“Are we ready to go?” Wakatoshi added, lacing their fingers together.

Koushi swallowed thickly as he nodded, not trusting the smallness of his own voice.

“Let’s go, baby.” Tooru murmured the pet name into Koushi’s hair as he pressed a light kiss to his temple.

Wakatoshi took his other arm. Koushi let the men lead him out of the soon to be empty house, not sparing a glance as Koutarou entered the room where Daichi was still sobbing.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Koushi stretched and yawned, taking a moment to fully appreciate his surroundings. Tobio was sunbathing beside a neighbor of theirs that he had become close to. The fiery haired teen was the same age as him and they seemed to clash frequently but never for long. The shorter boy was rubbing sunscreen on Tobio’s cheeks and Koushi desperately wanted to grab his phone and take a photo but he knew they would stop the moment he did.

He tried to get Tooru’s attention but the man was too engrossed in the deep conversation he was having with Issei over Koushi’s most recent magazine spread. Hiro was laid out on a lounge chair behind them, sunburned and asleep. Koushi winced as he watched Hiro’s shoulders start to match his pink hair. 

He rolled off of his own chair and wandered over toward them, their conversation slowing when he came close. Koushi raised an eyebrow in suspicion as he lowered the large umbrella beside the pool, turning it until it covered Hiro with its shade.

Issei frowned as he glanced at his husband. “Shit. He’s going to be so many at me. I was supposed to keep him from falling asleep  _ and _ burning.”

“You have failed both tasks, Mattsun. He looks like a strawberry.” 

Issei winked at Tooru and bumped his shoulder. “Good enough to eat, yeah?”

Tooru rolled his eyes and made grabby hands toward Koushi. “Come sit.”

Koushi shook his head and stepped under the umbrella. “Absolutely not. This skin is porcelain. Hiro slathered on so much sunblock and still burned. If I’m in the sun for even a few minutes- I’m done for. You two- ugh.” Koushi wrinkled his nose as he glared at the deep tan Issei had going then the beautiful glow Tooru had. Koushi crossed his arms.

He felt the heat of another body behind him and held his hand up before Wakatoshi could speak. “Don’t start, Toshi. You’re as dark as Issei in this heat!”

Tooru and Issei  _ giggled _ , quickly covering their mouths. Koushi darkened his glare and they both jumped to their feet, scrambling into the pool. 

Wakatoshi’s broad arms wrapped around his waist, his chin finding Koushi’s shoulder. “Your skin is beautiful.” 

“Gross.”

Koushi sighed loudly and turned toward Tobio, wrapping Wakatoshi’s arms around him tighter. He slumped against the bigger man, pushing his hips back. “Oh, Toshi dear, I think I need help- I’m so sore. Can you give me a massage?”

Wakatoshi frowned, not noticing Koushi egging on Tobio. “You are sore? Where? Was I too rough this morning?”

Koushi snorted out a laugh and Tobio groaned. “C’mon, Sho. Let’s go.” Tobio tugged on the other boy’s hand.

Wakatoshi watched Tobio stomp back into the house and peered at Koushi who had a cheshire cat smile stretched across his lips. “You were teasing him.”

“Yes, I was. He deserved it.”

Wakatoshi sighed quietly and pressed a light kiss to the back of Koushi’s head. “Do not bully Tobio.”

“I wasn’t  _ bullying _ -” Koushi started to whine. He yelped when Wakatoshi positioned his arm underneath his ass and flipped him onto his shoulder. “What- where- No. Nononono, don’t you dare-” Koushi’s protests were drowned out as Wakatoshi gracefully dropped him into the pool. 

Koushi slowly rose, his golden brown eyes narrowed into dangerous slits as they broke the surface of the water. Tooru’s eyes were wide. Issei was trying not to laugh. Hiro had awoken after being splashed. Wakatoshi stood at the edge with his arms crossed. He squatted down and held a hand out to Koushi.

“You were being mean but I will help you out-”

Tooru guffawed as he was nearly taken out as Koushi yanked on the bigger man’s arm and dragged him into the pool.

“If another one of you splashes me, I will light you on fire.” Hiro muttered from his shaded resting spot.

A screech filled the pool area as Hiro sat up, only then realizing the state of his skin. His loud yell was followed by a sharp cry then sobbing and finally, Issei’s stream of apologies. Wakatoshi had brought out a gel that he made himself from the garden he started. It had fresh aloe vera for instances like that one. Koushi watched fondly as Hiro seethed at his husband while Wakatoshi began the task of rubbing the cool gel across his chest and stomach. Tooru brought him ice water and tomatoes that he said would reduce the redness.

Koushi laughed and shook his head slightly. He blinked against the bright sun and looked up at the sky. It was mostly bare, save a few clouds providing much needed shade. It was bright and beautiful and everything he had come to love about the daytime. It was a breathtaking scene that could set the mood for an ending to any number of romantic comedies, for anybody out just enjoying the day. For anybody: even Koushi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's a wrap :''') thanks to everyone who read this, especially those who have been commenting. I didn't expect it to get so dark but here we are. I'm leaving it up to your beautiful minds about whatever happens to Daichi. 
> 
> thank you again for reading, it really means so much.


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